Lindsay Lohan Banned From Chateau Marmont

Lindsay Lohan has been literally living at Chateau Marmont, so naturally that story ends with the hotel banning her from the premises because she never paid for anything and now owes them $46,000. TMZ reports:

Lindsay — who had been living at the hotel — was ordered to get her stuff out by 12 PM August 1. She was then banned from the entire property.
Now get this … We also got the itemized bill for June and July, and it’s clear — Lindsay spends like a drunken sailor.
— Minibar charges for the 47 days: $3,145.07. The highest daily tab … July 1st — $502.43!!!
— Cigarettes: $686. She blew through 49 packs in 47 days at $14 a pop
— Chateau Candle: $100
— Chateau restaurant: On July 4 Lindsay racked up a $1,992.07 bill. On top of that, she spent $685.96 that day on room service

Unfortunately, this would be a happy story if we didn’t just find out earlier that millionaire Sam Magid’s so enamored with her freckle-tits, he let her steal $100,000 worth of jewelry from him. So just assume that guy’s on his way to Marmont right now with a check and orders to pick up smokes.

SAM: Lindsay, love Lindsay, here to pay hotel for Lindsay. Love her. Lindsay…
CLERK: Ohmygod, sir? Sir? How hard did she blow you?
SAM: Lindsay, love Lindsay, give Lindsay money, love Lindsay. Money for Lindsay.
CLERK: Get me Wilmer Valderrama on the phone NOW. *grabs receiver* Wilmer? It’s Jim. We got another one.
CLERK: Alright, people, listen up. Wilmer will meet us at the high school with instructions in five. You do exactly what he says. LET’S MOVE.

Photos: Terry Richardson