Lindsay Lohan Attacked The Rehab Staff

Add battery charges to claims that Lindsay Lohan was partying at her sober living house. According to TMZ, after Lindsay and her roommates arrived home from a purely innocent night out at the bar – It’s not like they’re medically-diagnosed alcoholics or anything. Amirite? – one of the Betty Ford staffers confronted Lindsay who decided to beat the shit out of her. Her people are already denying the charges with the always effective “she started it.”

Lindsay is telling people close to her … the drama unfolded when she arrived to the BFC on December 12 roughly ten minutes after her curfew.
Lindsay claims when she walked into the BFC — a female staff member was “unfairly” scolding her about the situation … and demanded the actress take a drug/alcohol test. We’re told it was during the heated exchange that the woman “put her hands on Lindsay.”
Lindsay claims she told the woman, “Take your hands off of me” and then “pushed back.”

And, of course, here comes the ultimate punchline: Lindsay might go to jail if she’s found guilty of battery. HAHAHAHA! Lindsay Lohan in jail. That’s a good one. I had no idea TMZ did comedy. Maybe next they can do an expose on how Santa is real which, let’s be honest, has a greater chance of success than seeing Lindsay Lohan held accountable for her actions. Because, seriously, how do presents get under my tree? They’re not there when I go to sleep, yet every year they’re there just as my parents get into town. What if this guy’s a pedophile? Or, shit, a minority? I NEED ANSWERS!

Photos: INFdaily