Lindsay Lohan’s Assistant Turned Her Into The Police

November 8th, 2012 // 52 Comments
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Apparently when you try to make your (presumably under-paid) assistant take the fall for crimes you committed, they’ll turn right around and rat you out to the police. A lesson Lindsay Lohan learned this week after being charged with lying to the cops for claiming her assistant crashed a Porsche into a tractor trailer when everyone clearly saw a ball of fire behind the wheel. TMZ reports:

Cops interviewed Lindsay’s assistant Gavin shortly after the crash — at the hospital where Lindsay was being treated — and according to law enforcement sources, he told police he was riding shotgun when the accident occurred … and Lindsay was driving.
As you know, Lindsay told cops she was a passenger in her Porsche, but authorities don’t believe her and she will be charged with the crime of lying to cops.
Gavin’s statement dovetails with the account of the truck driver Lindsay hit — he also claimed he saw Lindsay behind the wheel.

In Lindsay’s defense, who the hell takes a job as her assistant without expecting to take the fall for her crimes? Christ, the first interview is nothing but a speed test to see how quickly you can scrape a dead baby off the road and toss it into the ocean. Granted, Gavin didn’t have the best time, he was the first to accuse the baby of being drunk during the mock arrest. That takes moxie.

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News, WENN


  1. Lindsay Lohan
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like she didn’t blow this guy or else he would’ve taken the fall for her, like the guy who protected her when she accused Suge Knight’s son of stealing jewelry from that party (iirc).

  2. Burt Reynolds

    aaaaand more tax payers’ money is wasted.

  3. Lindsay Lohan
    Commented on this photo:

    Really now, you just can’t get good help nowadays.

  4. “Lindsay Lohan’s Assistant Turned Her Into The Police”

    Dude, she must be a WIZARD

  5. USDA Prime McBeef

    The cops could have just sniffed the seats of that porsche to figure out who was driving.

  6. karlito

    soon we’ll all be looking back and laughing in fond memory about all her trails and tribulations on those anniversaries of her death. boy she was a real character wasn’t she……

  7. Jack Ketch

    Chanel. Birkin. Scabby freckles. Coke bloat. Classy. NOT.

  8. BachNessMonster

    This girl seriously needs to find the Rosario to her Karen.

  9. Smapdi

    Who wouldn’t roll over on their boss? Its every employee’s dream! Right, photo boy?

  10. Nate

    omg she might actually serve a gay in jail! Seriously this girl has been in trouble for at lot worst. Nothing will happen to her over this. Just more drama.

  11. Lindsay Lohan
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously, who does take a job as Lindsay’s assistant without expecting to have to take the fall on a few felonies, or dive in front of a couple of ejaculating penises because Lindsay doesn’t like it when it gets in her hair.

  12. ace11

    I wish i could be handcuffed to her

  13. Schmidtler

    wtf is lying to the police a crime? it’s their job to get you to say stupid shit so they can lock you up, and they expect you to help them? she should have just clammed up and said nothing at all.

  14. Juano

    The really ironic part of this is that she had no reason not to tell the truth. The likely outcome would have been a traffic citation, which her attorney could have dealt with pretty easily. However, this really highlights that this chick has a serious problem with the truth; it seems she can’t ever actually be honest about anything. She’s a habitual liar.

  15. Kitatonic

    I was completely mislead by the title of this article. Where are the pictures of Lindsay blowing off her police academy requirements?

  16. Lindsay Lohan
    Commented on this photo:

    What the hell happened to her face?
    Did you guys photoshop or morph something here?

  17. Annie

    Just once I wish she really got what she deserves. I mean she pretty much lost all of her seriousness as actress with all the pathetic roles she gets, so there’s that, but what about some real jail time? I’m crossing my fingers for those tax evation allegations because if there’s one thing you can’t fuck with it’s the government money.

    • JC

      Yup. As my dad likes to say, “If you kill someone, you might get away with it, but if you don’t pay your taxes, you’re going to jail.”

  18. cc

    I wonder what’s the pay for that job? Is there special clauses if you get caught being her drug mule? For example, if you are carrying her shit and the next thing you know the cops are busting you with so much coke you are charged with ‘Possession with intent to distribute unless you are a snow glutton like Lindsay Lohan’ does her insurance pay for your defense?

  19. Lindsay Lohan
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice double chin, whore.

  20. inkydink

    someone send this twat home. NYC has enough problems without her skank ass being here. yeah, for once EVERYONE would like to see her actually get PUNISHED for once. hate this brat.

  21. Fred Ziffel

    She’s gaming the system. As long as she doesn’t get convicted of a felony , she can do whatever she wants with impunity .
    Thanks , California Justice System, you’re doing a heck of a job!
    Lindsay , you make a swell role model.
    Now where is Randall to sing her praises?

  22. zomgbie

    lolhan’s got an assistant?

  23. Lindsay Lohan
    Commented on this photo:

    Dur…where am I going?

  24. Lindsay Lohan
    Commented on this photo:

    Val Kilmer is looking pretty girly these days.

  25. Carla

    Holy double chins wtf!

  26. Bionic_Crouton

    She is famous and it happened in LA. She could go up the river for a hard 20 to 30 minutes.

  27. Lindsay Lohan
    Commented on this photo:

    The guy was all set to take her picture. Then he saw her and remained frozen, riveted by her undulating jaw line.

  28. Fred Ziffel

    after gazing on the photos, My estimation of the new blowjob price is the cost of a half – liter of Diet Pepsi and some barbecue Lays potato chips , if I’m feeling generous.
    If not , two Marlboro cigarettes and a two for the price of one Burger King Whopper coupon.

  29. anonym

    Bravo to lindsay’s assistant !

    People should start an Indiegogo fundraiser for the assistant and try to raise $700,000 for putting up with Lindsay’s bullshit.

    If a bus monitor can get it, so can this assistant.

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