Lindsay Lohan Arrested In New York For Pulling An Amanda Bynes

So remember not even two days ago when Lindsay Lohan thought she was in any sort of position to go on Twitter and bash Amanda Bynes? Turns out God did and made this happen even though I masturbate and eat shellfish. (No Ratner.) TMZ reports:

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ, Lindsay was pulling in to park her Porsche Cayenne near the Dream Hotel in downtown NYC when — at a very low speed — she allegedly hit the knee of a 30-something year old guy. That was around shortly after midnight.
We’re told one of Lindsay’s passengers in the SUV got out and checked the vehicle for damage, and then LiLo and co. went inside the hotel.
We’re told someone called police while Lindsay was inside … and when she walked out of the hotel — around 2:30AM ET — officers arrested her.

Lindsay was booked on a misdemeanor for leaving the scene of an accident except we all know she’s clearly a victim of anti-Disneyism in a pro-Nickelodeon world. She can still feel those spongy hands “checking her for needles” to the delight of a starfish giggling in the corner, his eyes never quite meeting hers. In the distance, a squirrel in a spacesuit cracked an even smile and cooed, “Yes, yes. All according to plan…”

Photos: Pacific Coast News