Lindsay Lohan Fails Alcohol Test, Goes Diva on Matt Lauer

Despite reports to the contrary, Lindsay Lohan actually is subject to alcohol tests while on house arrest because she just failed one which is really the only plausible ending to her telling Life & Style there’s no booze in her house. So, of course, she’s due back in court today to face threats of jail, blah blah blah, they’ll probably just take away her Wii. In the meantime, Lindsay reportedly got shitty with Matt Lauer on Tuesday after he flew to LA for an agreed upon interview that would air on The Today Show. Except when Matt and his production crew arrived at her house, Lindsay flipped out and claimed she only agreed to 15 minutes (Read: She demanded $100,000.) because people on house arrest have very busy lives. At that point, the NBC crew walked and presumably tipped off the media. This prompted Lindsay’s publicist to talk to E! News and openly reveal that he pays to make stories go away which is always a brilliant PR move:

“I find it disconcerting that these people were in her home and someone decided to take advantage of the situation. I wish whoever made a quick 50 bucks off leaking the story to TMZ would have called me first because I would have offered them 75, and this never would have been an issue.

Keep in mind Lindsay’s publicists initially called to take the blame for botching the Matt Lauer interview, but just as he finishes tidying things up, he randomly admits his client is a train wreck who forces him to pay people to shut up. So, apparently there is a limit to how much bullshit publicists can sling before they eventually break down and start telling the truth out of sheer exhaustion. “So, again, totally my fault on this, but you know what? *sigh* She offered to blow these people, so I don’t what more we could’ve done. I’m just one man, and she does so much stupid shit all the fucking time. Goddammit. *breaks down crying* She makes me look at the babies after she runs over them. She makes me look at them!”

Photo: Splash News