Stop Giving Lindsay Lohan Money, You Idiots

June 3rd, 2014 // 26 Comments
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Lindsay Lohan agreed to appear at an AIDS charity event and in return demanded first class flight and hotel accommodations along with the biggest dressing room which was inexplicably provided, so you’ll never guess what happened next. Page Six reports:

Lindsay Lohan was a no-show at Saturday’s Life Ball in Vienna, Austria.
“At the beginning of the day, they handed out a list of the dressing rooms,” says a spy. “Lohan had the biggest one blocked off for her. But by the end of the day, when they handed out updates, she was off the list. She never showed up.”
According to a source, flights and hotels were paid for by the organization, and Lohan missed her flight.

I know what you’re thinking: “And here comes a joke about Lindsay Lohan saying she had a miscarriage.” But that’s where you’re wrong. I’m going to make a joke that she had a double miscarriage. Twins, motherfucker! You guys, it was so bad she had to do cocaine – COCAINE – just to get up in the morning. She didn’t want to, but when you go through a loss like that, it’s okay, and not a sign of addiction. They tell you that at AA.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, WENN

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  1. JC

    Dear charities of the world,

    Getting Lindsay Lohan to “participate” in your fund raising does nothing but convince us that you’re too stupid to handle any donations we give you. Hell, involving Lindsay makes me not only not want donate to you, but actually try to steal your money.

    Signed,
    People with IQs over 80

    • Donald Sterling

      Any “charity” that pays for celebrities to show up at their events isn’t a charity at all–it’s a scam disguised as a charity.

    • Lindsay must be reading this, that’s the only explanation for the thumb down.

  2. malaka

    we should start our own charity that has no purpose other than guaranteeing that absolutely zero percent of the proceeds will go to finance lindsay lohan’s duchebaggery.

    • Waldo E.

      That’s not exactly a new idea. The Kardashian’s have been doing that very same thing through their eBay Giving Works auction for the last 5+ years.

    • Donald Sterling

      And no blacks allowed!

      Am I right, guys?

  3. “I’m sorry I missed my flight to your AIDS charity event! I meant to be at the airport on time, but . . . Um, I meant to be at your AIDS event, but I had . . . AIDS event . . . AIDS . . . AIDS! I caught AIDS! Yeah, that’s the ticket: I caught the AIDS flew and had to stay home until I was better. Now, you feel sorry for me, don’t you?”
    *coughs into hand then extends it for more money*

  4. Reminds me of an old saying… “Given enough rope…” I think we all know the rest.

  5. it had to be said

    But still a nice rack. You have to give her that.

  6. C’mon, you guys, show a little compassion. Some of her higher-end johns have really tight schedules, one of ‘em probably called at the last minute.

  7. And this is why I don’t give money to charities, nothing but scams. In addition to spending most of the money of huge salaries for themselves, it is wasted on bullshit like this. Charities and churches, two of the biggest scams on the planet.

    • I give, but only to local no-kill animal rescues. They are small, and you can see the results. And HeroRats. That’s generally it, though. People can go fuck themselves.

      • cc

        LifeSerial…are you me or am I you? I’d write the same damn thing word for word.

      • I like to think that all of us on The Sup are just slightly different facets of the same demented diamond.

      • Yeah, I will give you that, for some reason animal shelters and charities don’t seem to be run by the same kinds of thieving, greedy, unscrupulous bastards that run the other kinds of charities. I guess it is because the people actually care about the animals.

  8. anonym

    inviting broke people to a charity is fucking stupid.

    The charity deserved to lose that money.

  9. I wonder why most people in the world are able to keep to their schedules and yet LiLo can barely make it to the bathroom on time. Must have something to do with nice tits being inversely proportional to brain power.

  10. Lindsay Lohan Cleavage Liz And Dick Premiere
    El Guso
    Commented on this photo:

    She has always liked “The Dick”

  11. Rasputin's Evil Twin

    It looks like she won’t join the 27 Forever Club – less than a month to go til she turns 28. Bitch is late or a no-show for everything else, so that’s my bet.

  12. Johnny Barbells

    Stop Giving Lindsay Lohan Money, You Idiots
    …they will, when you & your ilk stop giving her headliner status, and we stop clicking on these damn photos.

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