Stop Giving Lindsay Lohan Money, You Idiots

Lindsay Lohan agreed to appear at an AIDS charity event and in return demanded first class flight and hotel accommodations along with the biggest dressing room which was inexplicably provided, so you’ll never guess what happened next. Page Six reports:

Lindsay Lohan was a no-show at Saturday’s Life Ball in Vienna, Austria.
“At the beginning of the day, they handed out a list of the dressing rooms,” says a spy. “Lohan had the biggest one blocked off for her. But by the end of the day, when they handed out updates, she was off the list. She never showed up.”
According to a source, flights and hotels were paid for by the organization, and Lohan missed her flight.

I know what you’re thinking: “And here comes a joke about Lindsay Lohan saying she had a miscarriage.” But that’s where you’re wrong. I’m going to make a joke that she had a double miscarriage. Twins, motherfucker! You guys, it was so bad she had to do cocaine – COCAINE – just to get up in the morning. She didn’t want to, but when you go through a loss like that, it’s okay, and not a sign of addiction. They tell you that at AA.

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