Lindsay Lohan Actually Did Something That Was Expected Of Her

December 14th, 2011 // 43 Comments

“Yup. Just another case won by McTits & Son. Gentlemen?”

While she was almost about to pull her famous “Oops, my purse was stolen” maneuver and stay in Hawaii all week, Lindsay Lohan actually appeared in court today where somehow she was in compliance with everything the judge asked her to do since her last hearing. And all it took was her lawyer telling the judge Lindsay’s parents are absolute shithole human beings which you just assume would’ve been heavily documented somewhere if not in every single closing statement. TMZ reports:

The reason for Lindsay’s turnaround — her lawyer, Shawn Holley, who went to the judge before Lindsay’s sentencing and argued that her client needed a rigid structure — something her own parents never provided.

I honestly don’t know what to say at this point because I have zero frame of reference on how to react to Lindsay Lohan showing up to court not having done at least 10 things that would send a normal person immediately to prison. In fact, I’m now 90% convinced the earth’s going to spin off its axis if she doesn’t run over a baby only to somehow be declared the mayor of Hollywood. That’s how these things are supposed to work, CHANGE IS BAD! *breathes into paper bag*

Photos: INFdaily, Splash News


  1. Lindsay Lohan Court
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m older than she is, but she looks older than me, what’s going on here!

  2. Good God A’mighty! What’s this world coming to? Next thing you’re going to tell me that Paris Hilton has become a nun.

    • Randal

      Alright FISH, let me start by saying Lindsay never fled probation by going to Hawaii – it’s still the United States of America, you know? Majority of minor travel restrictions for probation is the ground rule of not leaving the country.

      Spending time in Hawaii and enjoying it, as made clear by the previous posts of her laughing, smiling and just being her, is no reason to nail her to the wall.


      • Mitch

        Randal – You are a tard. Probation isn’t the same for everyone. Most often it restricts the person on probation to remain in the state, not the country.

      • No, Randal, you’re wrong. I was on probation many years ago for some youthful indiscretions and I was restricted to the COUNTY. I lived in L.A. County and had to ask my P.O. for permission to go to Disneyland (Orange County).

    • karlito

      well Paris is a lesbian who swallows cock once in a while so i can see her doing that.

  3. Cock Dr

    She showed up & she’s not dressed like a stripper……what universe is this?

  4. MarkM

    Whew…when I read the headline, I assumed you meant she died horribly…Stay Hard, Lindsay!

  5. Lindsay Lohan Court
    Commented on this photo:

    haha – “rigid structure”

  6. EricLr

    Don’t worry, there’s always tomorrow…or tonight. Most likely tonight.

    I predict a major-league bender where she ends up stumbling nude into a random house and attacking a kindergartener with a giant bag of crack.

  7. karlito

    her purse story was bullshit from the get go and the $10,000 was probably $100 in small bills. she’s a drama queen who lives for any type of attention. she likes to portray herself as a victim at most times. once she’s done with this court stuff she’ll be back whoreing around town and blaming everybody else for her bad choices. the only films she’ll be doing now will be tit flash movies. Kirsten Dunst said she never show her tits but she done at least 2 of them now.

  8. Johnny P!

    Lawyer: “Okay, Lindsay, time for your court appearance. Now, I’m bein’ SERIOUS this time! What are you gonna wear?”
    Lindsay: “Well, I already wore the revealing skin-tight dress to another appearance, showed my freckled tits at another, wrote Fuck You on my fingernails, just appeared nude in Playboy, posed for bikini pics the other day… hmmm, let’s see… Oh, I know! How about ‘English Nanny’?!?”
    Lawyer: “Bingo!”

  9. Lindsay Lohan Court
    Commented on this photo:


  10. Lindsay Lohan Court
    Commented on this photo:

    Me too!
    Now we know the real reason she couldn’t go on the Ellen show. Her face is jacked to hell. Bicycle pumps are not the way, sweety.

  11. Jon Hex

    That baby could have been Hitler. Think about it.

  12. CranAppleSnapple

    Why is she wearing a Viewfinder on her face? Did the fillers bug her eyes out, too?

  13. Lindsay Lohan Court
    Commented on this photo:

    [In a perfect Donald Duck voice]: No comment!

  14. Lindsay Lohan Court
    weirded out
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF is going on with this girl’s face??? She is only 2-freakin 5, looks older than my 52 year odl mom. sheeeeeeeeeeeeesh

  15. Lindsay Lohan Court
    Commented on this photo:

    As much as I hate being poor, I’d rather be poor and self assured than rich and have insecurities like Lilo…so sad.

  16. Cleaning Lady

    Cameron Diaz can get high and fuck black men, you can’t. How’s that feel freckles?

  17. 80s Chick

    Please tell me pleated pants are not coming back in.

  18. Lindsay Lohan Court
    Commented on this photo:

    what, is she holding a load in there?

  19. Lindsay Lohan Court
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Excessive alcohol
    Prescription drugs
    Non prescription drugs
    Multiple “cosmetic” procedures on the face
    Yup, she’s taken really excellent care of her assets. Lookin’ good.

  20. cc

    When I read the headline I thought she’d OD’d.

  21. Lindsay Lohan Court
    Heruhito Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Lindsay Lohan seen her with what will become the ugliest fucking double chin.

  22. Lindsay Lohan Court
    Commented on this photo:

    great dentures. they only age her 50 years.

  23. Prince

    Stop the presses….

  24. forrest gump

    ……….screw everything?

  25. Lindsay Lohan Court
    Commented on this photo:

    Guess Lindsay missed that special report about the fake doctor injecting cement into her patients. Bad weekend, lose 10 grand in an overpriced bag and get ripped off by a cement-trunked hag. Look mom, I rhymed!

  26. Lindsay Lohan Court
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn bitch! Um someone been pimping that juvaderm. Shit.
    Them drugs have taken a toll on her face. She looks older than ex base head Fergie.

  27. Lindsay Lohan Court
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s what…45? When does the ole “my parents are assholes” defense finally stop working?!

  28. Lindsay Lohan Court
    Commented on this photo:

    Marilyn Monroe lives!….LMAO

  29. Lindsay Lohan Court
    Commented on this photo:

    you’d hope she’d atleast try to avoid a wardrobe malfunction at court. doesn’t she have handlers?

  30. Lindsay Lohan Court
    Commented on this photo:

    Donatella Versace is lookin good!

  31. Lindsay Lohan Court
    Commented on this photo:

    She may feel 80 but she shouldn’t attempt to make herself look 80.

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