UPDATE: Lindsay Lohan: 90 Days in Jail

July 6th, 2010 // 192 Comments

I literally stopped paying attention to this whole thing because I expected to hear, “Lindsay Lohan Given 85th Chance to be a Fucking Idiot Again,” but apparently the California Legal System decided to show up today and slap Lindsay with a 90-day jail sentence. Does anyone have any fireworks left over? TMZ reports:

Judge Marsha Revel sentenced LiLo after an incredulous prosecutor, Danette Meyers, told the judge that Lohan has been thumbing her nose at the court.
The evidence was loud and clear today — Lindsay violated probation by failing to attend her alcohol ed classes based on the schedule set by the judge. There were lots of excuses, but ultimately they didn’t fly.
The judge said there was a pattern of violations since Lindsay was placed on probation in 2007 following her plea bargain in her DUI case.
Lindsay broke down as she addressed the court, telling the judge, “I did the best I could.”

In Lindsay’s defense, when you look at who raised her, she was actually telling the truth for once when she said she did her best. I mean, the fact an actual mule didn’t fall out of her purse during the hearing is nothing short of a miracle. “Your honor I have no idea who strapped pure, uncut, delicious snow onto this burro before in my life. (Vuelve al laboratorio, Jorge!)”

UPDATE: And it’s already looking like she’s only going to do 25 days at most. Erection, come back!

Lindsay’s Plea to the Judge:

Lindsay Crying During Sentencing:

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. Kerri

    I don’t have time to read all of these posts but did anyone read that she CHANGED OUTFITS during the recess break? what a freaking headcase. who does she think she is??? i want to fly to LA just to track her down and smack her in the head. can someone please do that for me? she needs to be taken down like 1500 notches. and don’t say that this sentence will do that for her…she didn’t even have real tears – give me a break. i HOPE she reads these sites and sees what a joke she is to everyone.

    • She changed outfits?!? I hadn’t heard that one. Lilo has her priorities straight.
      Besides, sitting there wet in court all day with detox sweats can be uncomfortable.
      Whether it’s 30 days or even only 3, I look forward to later this month when she debuts her new orange jumpsuit.
      If she doesn’t OD.
      Don’t die LiLo! There’s no chance of a future academy award if you’re cold in the ground.

  2. Rhialto

    Awww! That’s good and bad news! It’s bad news for LiLo! And for all what’s left it’s good news!

  3. Darth

    Is there JUSTICE!? *Total surprise*

  4. Gando

    She has left a trail of destruction,depth,anger,and so on behind her.Harming honest,hard working people.Time to throw her behind bars and teach her some respect!

  5. Armando

    When watching Lohan cry I felt like Cartman after he told that Sott Tenorman he was eating his own parents in the chilli and making him cry. Cartman: Oh Scott your tears taste so good!

  6. jay

    LOL! Even if she going to jail for 25 days i think its worth it. I hope she gets shanked in there and raped brutally by big black prison guards. then “accidentally” trips and falls onto a rusty steam pipe.

  7. jay

    LOLOLOLOL! I’m sooo happy she got jail time, stupid fucking cunt!

  8. iris
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does she act so shocked during the sentencing? Gee, who knew DUI’s and getting caught lying and doing coke had consequences…right?
    I wish I knew what she was saying to her lawyer during the sentencing because it seems like she’s blaming her for not getting her a lighter sentence.
    I hope she spends at least 30 days in jail. Maybe it will actually be a wakeup call to her and her famewhore excuse of a mother. This girl is a mess…look at that fake hair on her head and her lip injections. She needs help

  9. havoc

    She’ll be in there for a day b/c of overcrowding. Please. Celebrities don’t have the same code of justice as the rest of us schmucks……

    She has exploding cocaine shoes and everyone thinks its cute……

    .

  10. huh?

    That attention whore she calls her mother, and the anger management posterchild who is her father should be in the jail cells next to hers!!! Oh, and the state needs to get control of her 16 yr old sister too before she turns into Lindsey # 2.

  11. sickoflin
    Commented on this photo:

    BFT!!!!

  12. CARLO
    Commented on this photo:

    her lips actually looked good on the TV in court. She will end up looking funny like Shauna Sand tho.

    I’d still pay to hit it.

  13. oh lindsay…the judge doesn’t hate you, they just don’t like people saying that they tried and that they are not at fault. you’ve been pulling this crap for 2 years now. time to grow up and actually take responsibility. cut the crying, no one feels sorry for you. hope the put her in with all the other inmates, might teach her that she is not special

  14. Pazuzu

    HEHEHEHEHEHHEEEEHHEEEHEHEHEHEHEEHHEEEHEHHE!!!!!!

  15. Joe

    I want a copy of this trial. This is more gratifying than any sex tape released in the last five years.

  16. That guy

    “Cocaine is hell of a drug!”

    That 10 min sentencing video was better than, and had a better ending than, the season finally of Lost!

    OMG! Double rainbow! What does it MEAN?!?!?

  17. Mike Nike

    Why is she upset? Prison is LESBO heaven.

  18. sobrietyisacrutch

    I posted this earlier but anyway:
    I served 5 days in county lock-up for a DUI. It was the “honor farm”. While it’s not exactly like a Carribean cruise, it sure isn’t as hard and cruel as some people might think. You stay in dormitory style rooms of 2 each surrounding one large great room. While you are locked into the whole building, you are not locked into your room (cell). You can watch tv, read, make phone calls, buy snacks and sodas out of the vending machines, bathrooms with privacy stalls, sit and chat with inmates and even guards ALIKE – pretty much anything except smoke. You can sleep the day away or exercise. The other inmates aren’t usually the violent offenders. They’re of the check bouncing, welfare fraud ilk. Not a bunch of “Citizens of the Month”, granted, but a relatively cool bunch.
    Now remember: I am a NOBODY in Stanislaus County, CA and I got this treatment. Rest assured, Ms. Linds will be fine. They’ll probably even throw in a few nicotine patches. They did for me.

  19. Her attorney in the first video makes me want to puke. She makes her sound like she’s a mother of 5 fighting to make ends meet in the depths of Harlem. She’s a fucking movie actress that has more freedoms than I or anyone else I know to switch a schedule around. Talk about entitlement and a spoiled nature…she fuckin deserves a year at least !!

  20. OH SNAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

    I hope that this will finally teach her a lesson that has been MANY years in the making, but I bet she’ll back to her old antics once she leaves jail. But honestly, why does ANY club let her inside or have anything to do with her?

    Or maybe this will be her last time of publicity like Paris Hilton. Once she left jail, NOBODY cared about her ass anymore. Not even the rags.

  21. anonym

    guess what……..

    Now California has to spend our tax dollars to keep her in jail for 90 days.

    is it worth it?

    I say throw her out on the street and let her drink herself to death

  22. Victoria_St.Jade

    First time commenter, hehe. I have to say, Superficial Master, that this cheerful news of the gladdest tidings is a most wonderful late birthday gift (My 25th b-day’s 24 hrs before she has to surrender). You couldn’t have made me happier this year. Thanks so much, Ephemeral Blog Master, for sharing such lovely news with me. All the best,
    Victoria.

  23. elbruce

    If “legal experts” have to weigh in on it after the fact, then it’s not a legal issue.

  24. Kaz

    Yeah cry cry hahahah

  25. Slig

    Im so happy for she

  26. mike

    What a fucking waste of a woman, grow the fuck up and get your shit together.

  27. Shit Taco

    It’s SO RUDE how she just talked and looked around the courtroom like such a victim.

  28. bugman

    “I have to work to support myself.”

    Is that what they’re calling it in Hollywood these days?

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