UPDATE: Lindsay Lohan: 90 Days in Jail

July 6th, 2010 // 192 Comments

I literally stopped paying attention to this whole thing because I expected to hear, “Lindsay Lohan Given 85th Chance to be a Fucking Idiot Again,” but apparently the California Legal System decided to show up today and slap Lindsay with a 90-day jail sentence. Does anyone have any fireworks left over? TMZ reports:

Judge Marsha Revel sentenced LiLo after an incredulous prosecutor, Danette Meyers, told the judge that Lohan has been thumbing her nose at the court.
The evidence was loud and clear today — Lindsay violated probation by failing to attend her alcohol ed classes based on the schedule set by the judge. There were lots of excuses, but ultimately they didn’t fly.
The judge said there was a pattern of violations since Lindsay was placed on probation in 2007 following her plea bargain in her DUI case.
Lindsay broke down as she addressed the court, telling the judge, “I did the best I could.”

In Lindsay’s defense, when you look at who raised her, she was actually telling the truth for once when she said she did her best. I mean, the fact an actual mule didn’t fall out of her purse during the hearing is nothing short of a miracle. “Your honor I have no idea who strapped pure, uncut, delicious snow onto this burro before in my life. (Vuelve al laboratorio, Jorge!)”

UPDATE: And it’s already looking like she’s only going to do 25 days at most. Erection, come back!

Lindsay’s Plea to the Judge:

Lindsay Crying During Sentencing:

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. Richard Throbbin
    Commented on this photo:

    “But, but, but, I’m famous! How can this happen to me?”

    My friends call me Dick.

  2. joho777

    At least put Lindsay in the general population.

  3. Those tears are probably fake. She’s an ACTRESS! Also, I’m glad she finally got some kind of punishment. Nobody else would have been given this many chances. It’s unfair to everyone else that former actresses get special treatment, and can violate their probation as multiple times with barely a slap on the wrist.

    • Kay

      If you wanna call what she did “acting”.

      But I ABSOLUTELY agree with you on that bit that hollywood can do whatever, whenever, no consequence. I only wish she’d get the punishment she truly deserves (for starters they should force mandatory minimums on THIS bitch instead of 18 yr. old kids who made one mistake.)

  4. marvin

    i really don’t understand why celebrities cry in public. crying makes everyone look ugly and old. yuck. celebrities should only be either grinning or look thoughtful with their head cocked slighting in one direction. anything else is just not attractive and really spoils their image. lindsay lonhan needs to do her job better, then she wouldn’t end up in jail.

  5. kara

    & if this is in los angeles county she will be released after 6 hours due to severe jail overcrowding. that jail is always over maximum capacity.

  6. djyanno
    Commented on this photo:

    I will masturbate to the first pic tonight!

  7. Vader

    Is it just me, or does the judge sound like Vader with her heaving just before coughing

  8. Jon and Kate plus Haiti

    wELL well well,
    America will be safe for 90 days. I imagine the warden and the guards summoning all the girls to the yard. Then all the guards leave. Then an announcement is made on the PA “Dinner is Served”

    and Lohan is thrown buck naked into the yard

    ….I’d buy that for a dollar

  9. RasputinsLiver

    *

    Hmm…

    …odd. Now I’m not feeling bummed out nor breaking down in tears thinking life is so unfair. Yet Lohan is. Hmm…

    I wonder why that is.

  10. IM OLD GREEEG
    Commented on this photo:

    Whys she going to jail?

  11. sidewinder

    Fish,

    smh.com.au is showing that she rocked up to court with “fuck u” written on her fingernail and “shhhh” written on the side of one finger.

    Clever.

  12. Darebear

    Just do the damn alcohol classes, jeez.

    I like how it’s stated here in the second video she was arrested with cocaine and plead “no contest or something like it”. So she did have cocaine. It’s documented.

  13. ppl

    90 days, she’s lucky she’s not in china… she’ll get a public beating over them duckbills

  14. Gene

    About fucking time. The pussy she’s going to have to lick in there will undoubtedly dry this bitch out forever.

    I do hope this judge runs for something…anything…wherein this West Virginia boy can vote for her…repeatedly.

  15. Gary B

    Get some cameras to follow her and this will be reality TV GOLD. Hope she comes of all acting HARD and shit, then acts like she is some TUFF CONVICT BETOTCH.

  16. kitkat

    Good, now hopefully we won’t hear about her anymore on this website because she sucks.

  17. Ralph

    She got what she deserved. BUT>

    Her attorney should be sued for malpractice. Her preparation was lousy, she withheld discovery material from the District Attorney, she obviously did not screen her client’s remarks and she certainly did not properly prepare her client for the worst case outcome of the hearing. Her closing remarks were not prepared and were lacking any facts and president in law to support her client’s case. This was clearly a hack Hollywood attorney knowing that her next paycheck was just another bad judgment away.

  18. puddleduck

    Put her under house arrest. No bar hopping alone will probably kill her!!

  19. Ralph

    “About fucking time. The pussy she’s going to have to lick in there will undoubtedly dry this bitch out forever.

    I do hope this judge runs for something…anything…wherein this West Virginia boy can vote for her…repeatedly.”

    I was going to comment but then I saw “West Virginia” and I knew the effort would be wasted.

  20. Lindsay's Lover
    Commented on this photo:

    Starting tomorrow, 3 times a day, I’ll be making conjugal visits with LINDSAY LOHAN. Have pitty on the girl! (videos will come)

  21. Looks like she’s gonna get fat lips the ol’ fashion way

  22. JamesTurdToseland

    More seamen (semen) on board than the USS Enterprise. STD? Check. Tuna stink? Check. Old lady looks? Check. Would I fuck her still? Yes.

  23. Leslie

    This was 100% justified. The judge went over every infraction she did, and she might not have gotten so much jail time if she didn’t fuck up so majorly recently. She has countless times driven while drunk, driven while on cocaine, chased people down, fled scenes of accidents, snubbed authority and went to France to “promote” a movie that wasn’t even being shown while knowing full well she wouldn’t finish her classes. How many 24 year olds do you know that have done all that shit and got away with it? They aren’t just making an example out of Lindsay, if anything, she’s gotten away with a lot more than other people would have.

  24. Tatum O'Neal

    Hi all. This is Tatum O’Neal.

    I WANT MY LIFE STORY BACK!!

  25. g!

    FAKE TEARS!!!!!

  26. ladygagathesenutz
    Commented on this photo:

    id like to catch her in the prison shower !!

  27. Mr. Sensitive

    On a positive note, her cellmate will be better looking than Samantha Ronson, although the wire brush dildo might sting a bit.

  28. adam
    Commented on this photo:

    that top lip is gonna collapse without her regular collagen shots in jail

  29. captain america

    ………….WHO WE MUST THANK?

  30. Moonbeam

    I also believe she will get a private cell and not be put into the general population. She is still a valuable entity that other individuals and/or corporations have invested in, not to mention insurance companies. And that’s not only in connection with film project(s) but also with some marketing enterprises. So there are not only individual concerns but business interests in guarding her physical safety.

  31. Moonbeam

    This judge is not going to let Lilo make a fool of her by letting her spend only a few hours in jail, nor even a few days, I don’t believe. I would expect her to serve at least 3 weeks, and then it’s into 90-day rehab, with no alcohol at all during this time. She’s going to be forced to dry out.

  32. That Guy

    Her plea to the judge reminds me of that inspirational speech in her movie Mean Girls only she’s going to Jail for her effort.

  33. Dumb fucking meth whore will only wind up doing about 10% of her stretch, what kind of bullshit punishment is that???

  34. farthammer

    She has a boogie on her hand. Also, 100th post, fagg0ts.

  35. Jeffery

    oh my god lindsay lohan gets 90 days jail plus 90 days rehab, two weeks to surrender and has to wear scram bracelet !
    http://twitter.com/jerygider

  36. Sangria

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *breathes* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  37. powerone

    This is the last thing superficial needs. What we want topless naked lohan. What we get nothing she is going to prison. Its just wrong!! stop it superficial send a note to the court telling them to keep her out.

  38. Darrin

    Good – might just save her life.

  39. DarkDeathRay
    Commented on this photo:

    How much time is she REALLY going to spend in jail? Somebody needs to be there with a stop-watch when she goes in. Last time, she was sentanced to 30 days and she actually spent less than an hour-and-a-half. Already they are cutting it down because, as TMZ states, “generally, a female inmate in Lindsay’s situation only serves 25% of their sentence … which means LiLo will most likely spend around 23 days behind bars. ” What the hell kind of system do they have there? All the best justice money can buy…

  40. Marty
    Commented on this photo:

    This should definitely be the new banner girl pic, I dare you to find another picture that could even compare.

  41. Michelle
    Commented on this photo:

    i swear i love her so much

  42. Eric

    This is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. I just wish she would get the book thrown at her.

  43. dandik1985

    Have her crying face be the banner girl!!!

  44. Bigo
    Commented on this photo:

    NOOO, now everything blogs will be talking about is Linsay’s jail sentence.
    Just inprison her and throw the key, please!!!

  45. LOLA
    Commented on this photo:

    she deserved it

  46. AL

    why didnt the judge sentence her to death ? then, and only then (perhaps) would we be spared one more story about her attention grabbing freckly ass and its stupid bratty behavior. die bitch, die.

  47. hrr
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks older than her mom.

  48. hrr

    I hope she gets raped so hard in jail her vagina explodes.

  49. haha

    this made my fucking day. I can’t believe she is crying though.. is she surprised that they didn’t give her a 56034th chance?

    hopefully it teaches her a lesson. she was so pretty in mean girls. she’s definitely not gonna look like that again. but hopefully she won’t be the epitome of trainwreck anymore?

    p.s – pretty sure germany will rape spain tonight

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