Lindsay Lohan Was A Pain In The Ass Filming ’2 Broke Girls,’ I Don’t Believe It

March 14th, 2014 // 31 Comments
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When we last left Lindsay Lohan, she was selling InTouch a handwritten list of celebrities she banged because she’ll do anything for money except be a reliable actress who isn’t a goddamn nightmare to work with. Which is exactly what happened on the set of 2 Broke Girls even though we’re all supposed to believe Oprah cured her with her Oprah magic. Via Crazy Days and Nights:

Red hair. Lips so plumped out she couldn’t really get them open because of her botox which also caused her to have trouble pronouncing certain words. Of course she won’t be able to pronounce anything if she keeps smoking because her voice is rapidly disappearing into some type of screaming smoking raspy hell hole. You know when you go to some type of event that requires a lot of yelling or screaming and you can barely speak. Combine that with a three pack a day habit and botox and see how well you do. There was a scene later on in the show that required Lindsay to say the words Hawaii and Bahamas in succession. She couldn’t move her botoxed muscles enough to get that combination down without pausing between each. It sounded like someone who had injected with Novocaine an hour earlier.
Enough of that though, let me take this slow and steady. I want the writers to know that your words were very good for the script of this episode. I also want you to know that myself and all of the other 199 members of the audience are very familiar with every single one of Lindsay Lohan’s lines and can repeat them all verbatim to you because we heard them so many times last night. There is not a member of the audience who couldn’t do a better job than Lindsay Lohan did last night.
I am not going to give any spoilers or anything like that, but let me take you through Lindsay’s first scene. Max and Caroline are selling their cupcakes and a guy walks up and wants to buy a cupcake for his girlfriend. His line of “My girlfriend wants a cupcake and she gets anything she wants,” brings in Lindsay who then says, “I want a house in the Hamptons but I will settle for a cupcake.” Yes, I know that line and the other lines. I heard them and heard them and heard them. This first initial half of a full scene had about five lines from Lindsay. It took about 45 minutes to shoot because she never could get through without screwing up. She would get one line and screw up another. There was some combination that she always managed to find that she had not done previously.
While they moved the cameras for the second part of the scene, Roger, bless his heart decided to announce Lindsay’s presence to the audience and goaded almost everyone out of their seats to give her a standing ovation. Yeah. Miss Liz and Dick herself. At this point I think everyone was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. Sure, they had four days to practice and rehearse, but it was five lines. Kat Dennings and Beth Behrs had twice the lines and had to worry about timing and still made the audience laugh every single time through. Despite having to repeat the first part of the scene well over a dozen times they didn’t slip once. When you go to a taping and see those compared to Lindsay you realize that Lindsay is never going to win an Academy Award and she is lucky to even be working as an actress.

Apparently, the show is finished taping around 9 pm. They weren’t done until 11:15, and that’s even with a chunk of Lindsay’s few minutes of screentime pre-taped days. Which should surprise no one because she has a documented history of fucking production right up the ass. What should surprise you is that I wasted my time and yours writing these words instead of jumping straight to Kat Dennings‘ giant breasts which probably means I have a tumor. Haha! It smells like almonds.

Photo: Instagram

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  1. dontkillthemessenger

    This is obviously made up horseshit. Look at this sentence…

    “Kat Dennings and Beth Behrs had twice the lines and had to worry about timing and still made the audience laugh every single time through.”

    2 Broke Girls and making the audience laugh? I know bullshit when I see it.

    • JC

      Presumably the studio audience is stocked with people who are excited about the show and have the…let’s say the ” appropriate intellectual capacity” to enjoy the level of humor in a crap sticom. The fact that THOSE people found Lindsay intolerable speaks volumes.

    • It was probably exaggeration to emphasize how bad Lohan was. Still, I believe they were laughing. Being in a live audience is different than watching stuff on TV. The more people you’re with the more likely you are to laugh (as people laugh it makes others laugh who might not have) also they’re priming the audience, ad libbing shit on botched takes (sitcom outtakes are often hilarious, even on shows that suck as aired), and generally making a spectacle of it.

      • emma watson's vagina

        it’s very crude humor 2 broke girls. while it has some aspects of humor. it is mainly because of Dennings tits and Behr’s legs when they are shown off.

        now whether Lohan is a train wreck or not.(yes she is.) she is still able to garner attention from the public. so it is worth it. especially for this show.

        as the audience finding it funny. maybe. but definitely shilled.

      • MarketingMike

        When they shoot sitcoms with an audience, they ALWAYS “prime”
        the audience with a dozen or so professionals, who initiate laughter
        on the right cues. Of course they still “load” up the audience track
        with canned laughter. The people that are willing to set through
        4-6 hours to watch a sitcom live aren’t always the sharpest tools in
        the shed either. That said, sounds like Lindsay sucked, as usual.
        Only 3 Packs a day now? Wow, she’s cut back…

    • I still don’t understand why and mostly HOW is that show still on air.

    • tlmck

      I believe they use a laugh track instead of a live audience.

    • ghosts

      I like 2 broke girls, don’t judge me.

  2. Inner Retard

    I always enjoy watching Hollywood offer Lindsay new opportunities. It’s like watching a monkey keep shoving a metal rod in a light socket.

  3. Mr. TNT

    Kat Denning….Boobs…. Squishy… That is all.

  4. anonymous

    Never ceases to amaze me how hypocritical Hollywood is.

    Hollywood: “Knowing who Lindsey is—let’s throw money at her to get her to work with us so afterward we can blast her for acting the way we knew she would.”

    • Look, both Hollywood and Lohan need a constant cash stream. Hollywood does it by putting untalented yet infamous people on shows in attempts at “Stunt Casting” while Lohan does her best work at various truck stops across this great land.

      IT’s basically just two different ways to make money – except for the added Lohan/STD angle.

      • anonymous

        My point isn’t about the money. It’s about the people who hire LL then complain about her being a jackass when they already knew that she’s a jackass.

        You don’t hire Kim Kardashian knowing full well she’s got a fat ass and then complain about how fat her ass is when the job is done.

  5. Police Captain from Casablanca

    I’m shocked! Shocked to hear that Lindsay was a pain in the ass.

  6. Mr. Fahrenheit

    Two of these things are not like the others.

  7. Not even Lindsay Lohan could ruin this literal embodiment of my Kat Dennings fantasies.

  8. just say'n

    Anyone taking wages on how soon stories about things mysteriously vanishing from the set when Lindsay was near by start to come out?

  9. Lindsay is looking positively Transsexual in that photo. Bruce Jenner would be rocking that wedding gown.

  10. I read the entire blog entry about Lohan’s “Two Broke Girls” debacle. The most damning statement I found was when Lohan was compared to Stephanie Courtney, who plays Flo on the Progressive Auto commercials. No only did they say Courtney knew her lines and delivered them with comedic flair, but she also looked much hotter than Lohan.
    That’s right, even FLO is way hotter than LOHAN now. ROFLMBO!!!

  11. Jane

    Kat Dennings ‏@OfficialKat
    This article is complete bullshit. Lindsay was prepared, sweet to everyone, & professional. Not nice to spread lies.

    Beth Behrs ‏@BethBehrs
    This article isn’t true. I second @OfficialKat . @lindsaylohan was kind to everyone, professional and knew her shit.

    • They aren’t exactly going to come out and be all ‘oh yeah, she was a total wank ass to work with’. They need the PR. A lot of dirty laundry doesn’t come out until actors are safely away from the vehicle they are currently riding the finances of.

    • lincoln15

      So Jane *cough-cough* Ali; what piece of jewelry did the milk-a-holic ‘borrow’ from props for you?

  12. To be fair, though Lindsay does have a “history of fucking production right up the ass”, Crazy Days & Nights has been outed as being a completely unreliable source of made-up gossip.

  13. I’d love to be a pain in Lindsay, Beth or especially Kat’s ass.

  14. anonym

    fucking retarded Lindsay. Go into porn already. No lines to memorize. Just doing shit she knows best- blowing dicks and taking it in the butt

  15. tlmck

    So who are the moron that keep hiring her?

  16. Hasn’t the expiration date ran out on Lindsay’s fame?

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