Ali Lohan Looks Healthy

September 7th, 2011 // 159 Comments

In all the hustle and bustle of watching Lindsay Lohan flagrantly wave her freckle flaps at the court system, we forget that there’s a young, impressionable girl who’s been living with her/standing ready with an adrenaline needle for the past four years now because Dina Lohan prefers a more Laissez faire style of parenting that doesn’t require her to do anything but lift a gin glass, and only if Cody isn’t around to do it. “His tiny hands are like nature’s cupholder.” Anyway, it seems Dina’s plan has worked because here’s Ali in Beverly Hills yesterday looking entirely nourished and not at all on heroin, so let’s just assume she had an educational afternoon searching for bags full of meteors and rose quartz because Lindsay’s teaching her about geology. “Remember, you always want to rub sea jasper on your gums to make sure it’s, uh, got lots of jasper. So, I’ll do that because that’s the hard part, and you just do the easy stuff like get how much you can without using any money.”

Photos: Splash News


  1. rican

    So this is what anorexia looks like

    • This is what anorexia+bulimia+heroin+meth+alcohol+anal sex looks like

      • Doc Schweinstrudel

        you are so funny Nunyo, like you are a real comedian and stuff.
        Fish, the girl can have her heart collapsing any day. It’s just inappropriate to joke on her.

      • stratacat

        hey. that’s an insult to anal sex. not cool, man. not cool.

    • A

      Yes this is sooooo scary. I modeled when I was younger, and I was anorexic because the more weight I lost, the more people would tell me “you have amazing bone structure.” Look at her hands, her insanely pale skin, the way her jaw bone is way too sharp. Dina needs to be investigated, she’s clearly incapable of raising her children. She prolly really does do drugs with them.

      • lkj

        Here’s what I think: Ali was never a beauty, even when growing up. Her mom was upset with this and tried to remodel her little daughter, by changing her hair and eyes colour, using excessive make up on her, and finally getting surgery. And NOT only to her boobs.

  2. NTT

    So sad. It’s not even funny. Dina is satan.

  3. justuhbill

    Ali Lohan? I thought that was Miley Cyrus’ brother – the one who knocked up the Asian Disney chick.

  4. gigi

    uh oh……

  5. Terry

    cute shoes

  6. Dani

    Not even an ounce of fat.. her arms are just straight bone…Like the rest of her :/

  7. Dude of Dudes

    Man banging her must feel like falling off a house onto a pile of wooden ladders.

  8. Ali Lohan New Face Skinny
    Commented on this photo:


  9. Ali Lohan New Face Skinny
    Commented on this photo:

    Russell Brand sure did lose a lot of weight

  10. Lindsay Lohan Chins Blonde
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh fuck! she passed out behind the wheel again! Scatter!

  11. just here for laughs

    Starving for attention.

  12. Doc Schweinstrudel

    What’s wrong, people. It’s just that she can gain weight if she wants to, like fat people can lose weight if they want to, right? What? It ain’t as simple as that you say. WOW that’s a discovery!

  13. Ali Lohan New Face Skinny
    Commented on this photo:

    Meth face for sure!

  14. Simple Sister

    Dina made deal with the devil! She sold ALi’s soul in return for fake fame and other people’s money

  15. Ali Lohan New Face Skinny
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m seeing a miserable and undernourished Anne Hathaway. Possibly with an evil bionic claw hand.

    • TomFrank

      For everyone who complains that Anne Hathaway needs to look more like Kelly Brook, let me point out that things could have just as easily gone the other way and you’d have gotten this.

  16. crazypants

    Her shoes look heavier than she is.

    Ali, Lindsay and whatever other kids Dina/Michael have should be stolen away in the middle of the night and placed in Witness Protection Service with new identities and names and shit, after a mandatory 24 months of intensive therapy.

  17. Jo

    yipes. Plenty of fug going on here.

    oh and Holy coke bloat batman. I’m sure Hohan will test dirty next time around.

  18. Ali Lohan New Face Skinny
    Commented on this photo:

    It looks like Lindsay got to the cat food bowl first.

  19. Ali Lohan New Face Skinny
    Commented on this photo:

    lol…….he is trannying on the side for heroine money….poor Russell

  20. stratacat

    take note Leanne–those are a real woman’s curves, you fat piggy.

  21. Gross

    what a lardass

  22. juststopit

    The only sad thing is that we’re all waiting for Leanne Rimes to bitch at her for beating her at her own game.

  23. Jim

    No way she doesn’t breake her chalky anklebone stepping off that curb.

  24. Ali Lohan New Face Skinny
    Commented on this photo:

    thats not a girl….no way

  25. Emillio Estevez, Jr.

    I don’t think Charlie Sheen can get high enough to want to fuck that !

    • Colin

      Also, she has no fat on her, and I don’t think Charlie Sheen can recognize a vagina if there’s not a mountainous labia surrounding it.

  26. Rocky

    Nothing an unwanted pregnancy cant solve

  27. Lindsay Lohan Chins Blonde
    White hot
    Commented on this photo:


  28. Tristyn

    So when this kid dies from anorexia or bulimia? Dina can claim victory for at least keeping the others alive …. And then cash in on it !!!!!

  29. Scott

    There’s nothing to joke about here. She needs to be in intensive therapy for eating disorders, or we will be reading her obituary soon.

  30. Hickok

    Kate Gosselin has stolen her soul via black magic to retain her “youthful” appearance.

  31. Lindsay Lohan Chins Blonde
    Commented on this photo:

    Well hello, double chin.

  32. Deacon Jones

    She was always skinny.

    The true test will be comparing her jug size, which are bigger than normal. That’s a blousy shirt.

  33. Ali Lohan New Face Skinny
    Commented on this photo:

    She used to have big boobs like Lindsay :S

  34. Uncle Phil

    At least Casey Anthony had the courtesy to just straight up kill her kid.

  35. Ali Lohan New Face Skinny
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Here comes the next Lohan trainwreck.
    Someone please feed that girl a big plate of lasagna and make sure she doesn’t puke it up.

  36. So I gotta be the one to say she should get her fat ass to the gym? Really…just me?


  37. Lindsay Lohan Chins Blonde
    Commented on this photo:

    Coke bloat and meth teeth. How does she still have money for drugs?

  38. kirby

    she’s so skinny Lilo could use her to inject meth right into her arm!

  39. Ali Lohan New Face Skinny
    Commented on this photo:

    lol – that is one ugly girl

  40. Ali Lohan New Face Skinny
    subdural hematoma
    Commented on this photo:

    so is Ali Lohan like her mom or something?

  41. dontkillthemessenger

    She has to get attention from her parents somehow. Dina didn’t notice anything wrong when Ali sprained her wrist fixing dinner last night… a bottle cap of olive oil.

    I honestly believe you should be able to take adult children away from bad parents too.

  42. Ali Lohan New Face Skinny
    Commented on this photo:

    I am looking at this picture then I look to the right of the screen and I see LeAnn Rimes and God help me If I am not thinking that LeAnn is looking hot.

  43. Stucco

    We have secretly replaced your next pedobear target with the freshman geek in high school you swirlyed in the locker room. Let’s see if you notice.

  44. John D'anunnzio

    She’s taking a cab to Heroin Avenue , Which is just a few blocks down form Meth Street . Wasn’t she supposed to be a model a few weeks ago? She’ll be modeling caskets in a few short weeks at this rate

  45. MILF

    Dina is turning her into Sam Ronson so she can lure Lindsay back home.

  46. Lindsay Lohan Chins Blonde
    Commented on this photo:

    Cmon — you can see the photos have been altered.

  47. Findley

    I think that’s someone else–paps got it wrong.

  48. “…Dina Lohan prefers a more Laissez faire style of parenting that doesn’t require her to do anything but lift a gin glass…”

    With regards to the above-quoted slam against Dina Lohan, that’s a terrible thing to say about a mother trying to raise 3 children without a husband/father, albeit a USELESS husband/father, in the household. Dina prefers tequila, NOT gin.

  49. Carolyn

    Looks like a bony horse heading for the glue factory.

  50. Ali Lohan New Face Skinny
    Oh Hell No
    Commented on this photo:

    What happened to her fantastic boobs????

    • Lindsay forced her to go through breast reduction surgery because they were taking attention away from hers. Ali should have known it’s all about Lindsay.

Leave A Comment