Lily Allen, I think I love you

June 4th, 2008 // 91 Comments

Lily Allen attended the UK Glamour Women of the Year Awards last night and no, you’re not tripping, that is Bambi on her dress spewing blood. Being the savvy type, Lily knew there’s only one accessory to complement such an outfit: a blind, raging drunk. After taking home the Editor’s Special Award, Lily celebrated by guzzling anything she could get her hands on. Sources tell me at one point she tried to chug a wristwatch. NY Daily News reports:

Allen had to be carried out of the ceremony’s afterparty by a bouncer after hitting the sauce a little too hard. She admitted, via her MySpace blog, that she’s feeling “awful” today after getting “very drunk.”
“It’s not cool getting that drunk,” she said. “Kids, drink responsibly or you’ll end up looking like this – not pretty!”

Oh yeah, she’s the one. Lily Allen, will you marry me? I couldn’t imagine a more beautiful wedding than the one where my darling bride sucker-punches the Maid of Honor before ralphing on the priest. *sniff* It’s too beautiful for words. (Not counting the ones I just typed.)

EDIT: Added pics of a totally shit-faced Lily getting loaded into her car – where she then elbowed the guy carrying her in the face. I want you.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. flyingskeleton

    in one of the pictures when the guy is putting her in the car. one of the bouncers has his hand on her left breast.
    http://celebslam.buzznet.com/lily-allen-wasted/lily-allen-wasted-14jpg

  2. Todd Dice

    Lily is great and NOT FAT! What is up with liking skinny assed chicks? Give me Lily over Kate Moss any day!

  3. Stephanie

    I think she looks super hot.

  4. NY Ted

    Lily Allen…I THINK YOU ARE A FUCKING PIG!

    Who the fuck is Lily Allen…???

  5. dogonabone

    @32; not responsiVely, but responsiBly. although, your way is probably better fun.

    love the dress.

  6. The Kilted Yaksman

    Why is it that everybody here calling her fat sounds like a catty gay guy? Do you twinks only like the stick thin ones because they remind you of 14 year old boys?

  7. Tabby

    I would kill to be able to suit this shade of pink, she looks great in it.. Much better than the plain bleached hair.

  8. Nathiest

    I fucking love that dress!

  9. malicious

    Lilly Allen rocks, not many celebs are happy to say they like getting wasted and giving head – keeping it real

  10. britney's weave

    Jem!
    Jem is excitement
    Oooh, Jem!
    Jem is adventure
    Oooh…
    Glamour and glitter,
    Fashion and fame
    Jem! Jem is my name.

  11. Flavio

    I don’t know what it is, but I find her incredibly sexy. wanna hold her hips and tell her how bad she is. I could lure her with a bowl of mojito on the floor and a straw…

  12. Mike

    Miscarriage = Abortion. Just look at the dress, which is all about slaughtering innocence. She does look cute in these pictures but I’d stay away unless you want tearful laughing fits and eventually an ice pick in your eyeball.

  13. fletcher

    Remember when attractive celebs were actually attractive? This girl is way below average and I think she has skin cancer too. Gro-dee.

  14. Bageenerpoofaciliousdifolerian

    She looks okay, the dress if fine … just stop singing. God almighty, it’s like music sauteed in retard accent.

  15. Old Dude

    The pink hair makes her look about 14, like the girls I was warned not to stare at at a recent Japanese animation convention.

  16. blowhard

    #55

    Nice, I noticed that too. The asshat at 32 having a pop at somebody’s spelling and then fucking it up, brilliant.

    Lily needs a bit of help I think, probably since her dad is a total douche, some weird little Saturday evening TV actor named Keith. I’d still plow her though.

  17. I can’t beleive how many people I have seen in that dress, it is so last season!!!

  18. Hamper Lint

    The poor guys face is as pink as her hair.

  19. Mr V

    @60 britney’s weave:

    Many wins for you. Awesome segue into 80s cartoon reference.

    Seriously, somebody should go ahead and directly compare the current crop of pop stars and measure them up against the combined work of the Jem series (new original song written EACH episode). Everyone’s been exposed to so much crap they think it’s normal and therefore acceptable.

  20. your_suicidal_english_teacher

    #18 Her hair looks amazing! Maybe you might have GONE to a local mall, but you’d be better off with a remedial English class.
    It’s “I went” (past tense) or “I would have gone” (perfect conditional) or “I have gone” (present perfect). There’s no such tense as “I would have went”.

  21. cady

    In addition, i want to inform you that someone here is keeping saying you are seeking a sugar girl on !!!.S u g a r D a d d y conNec t . c o m recently.. maybe you need to stop the slurring!

  22. begalmonster

    What’s weird is she used to totally not even register on my radar, but just when I actually start to really like this chick, she starts going all Tara Reid on us. She’s clearly got a wicked sense of humor and a cool “I give a f*ck” attitude, but seeing yet another British poptart circle the drain in public is a bit much for me.

  23. Janine

    Woah, she looks like Rainbow brite on acid!

    How in hell is that considered glamorous???

  24. coco

    Who is she?
    The dress and shoes are cute in a sick sort of way, the rest is unextraordinary. Pink hair? Might have been cool in the mid-nineties but not anymore, sweetheart.

  25. BigGyrl

    #70
    Go suck a dick!
    Have you ever sucked a dick before?
    I saw you sucking your brother’s dick!
    Maybe you can suck your dad’s dick later this evening.

    Enough TENSES for your dumb ass?

  26. Keith created a blob as thick as pig shit.

    She’s an obnoxious idiot., who thinks if you express an opinion [any opinion, whether it's retarded or not] loudly enough it makes it important and right.

  27. Natalia

    I think she’s prettier than most British women. Call her a chav if you will, at least she’s pretty.

  28. jem

    oouuuhhh I loved Jem!!!

    thanks for reminding me #60

  29. meh

    lost all my respect

  30. gayman

    good one #56

  31. EAC

    Gorgeous hair colour – really suits her. Love it.

  32. ferlo

    she’s fucking gnarly. her dress is a sly way to display her wicked, demented sense of humor. at least she’s an individual unlike most of the females posted on this site. AND she looks good while she parties hard. I’d get crunk with her any day!

  33. roop

    #10, I agree, go figure she does look bangin’ good in this pics.

    Okay now on to the obligatory insult:

    Homie carrying her into the limo only got elbowed in the face cos he was trying to cop a feel of her titties couldn’t find them and gave himself away muttering “Hmm…no thats not them, is it here? Ooops, belly button, unless of course that’s an inverted 3rd nip.”

  34. :p

    Love that crazy dress.
    As to the dumb fucks involved in the comments section spelling/grammar wars:

    Smart people–> you will never win. Dumb people who barely finished school, if at all, will never understand where the fuck they need to put an apostrophe. Or the proper use of tenses. Or the fact that the English language is NOT spelled phonetically. In trying to correct these people, you are being stupid: would you waste your time explaining astrophysics to a brain-damaged vegetable? No. Stop being a “looser”.

    Dumbasses–> I unnerstan that it isent ur fault u r stoopid and can not learn. So I wont tell u to keep quite and try to improove urself an learn to spell rite. It is ur rite and privilige to wright whatever u wanna on the inernet!!! don’t feel emberrasment. don’t take they’re harrassmint. be proud of who u r! Who cares what the grammer and spellin popozaos r sayin? definately stick too what u no! riting FUNNY comments on the inernet gossip sights, suckin a liddle dik, an smokin a liddle crack!

  35. herbiefrog

    hello…

    wow… this was along post

    we think she’s cute
    and we think she’s noticed : )

    so… hey babe : ))

    [say nothing]

  36. el ces

    Naw, shes pretty here. Lil’ bow in her hair.
    You’d never suspect that potty mouth.

  37. kitty_kat

    I’m with #76: This woman is so obnoxious. And she’s an idiot. Ugly on the outside and ugly on the inside as well.

  38. hi

    Her face is sooooo greasy looking………

  39. Anna from Holland

    people who are calling lilly allen fat are all crazy stupid idiots! no wonder that alot of woman are anorexic. Lily looks very healthy and beautiful and she doesnt need so much make up to look good! and the pink hair looks good on her aswell

  40. Good post!As i was passing by here and i read your post.
    It’s quite interesting.I will look around for more such post.Thanks for sharing.

  41. proove urself an learn to spell rite. It is ur rite and privilige to wright whatever u wannY comments on the inernet gossip sights, suckin a liddle dik, an smokin a liddle crack!

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