Lily Allen, I think I love you

June 4th, 2008 // 91 Comments

Lily Allen attended the UK Glamour Women of the Year Awards last night and no, you’re not tripping, that is Bambi on her dress spewing blood. Being the savvy type, Lily knew there’s only one accessory to complement such an outfit: a blind, raging drunk. After taking home the Editor’s Special Award, Lily celebrated by guzzling anything she could get her hands on. Sources tell me at one point she tried to chug a wristwatch. NY Daily News reports:

Allen had to be carried out of the ceremony’s afterparty by a bouncer after hitting the sauce a little too hard. She admitted, via her MySpace blog, that she’s feeling “awful” today after getting “very drunk.”
“It’s not cool getting that drunk,” she said. “Kids, drink responsibly or you’ll end up looking like this – not pretty!”

Oh yeah, she’s the one. Lily Allen, will you marry me? I couldn’t imagine a more beautiful wedding than the one where my darling bride sucker-punches the Maid of Honor before ralphing on the priest. *sniff* It’s too beautiful for words. (Not counting the ones I just typed.)

EDIT: Added pics of a totally shit-faced Lily getting loaded into her car – where she then elbowed the guy carrying her in the face. I want you.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. BigGyrl

    Lily who?????

  2. Chupacabra

    too bad all that beer fat can’t go to her boobs.

    FLAT CHESTED LILY ALLEN!

  3. FIRST

    FOIST.

  4. FIRST

    Aww, not foist. Back to masturbating in my pile of Cheetos…

    That dress is amazing.

  5. Haha!!! What a great dress. Disturbing, just like I like!!
    And the hair? Well that’s just GREAT. It’s 8 shades pinker than mine..

  6. A sloppy drunk AND a big fat pig. Pass.

  7. OnlyGayEskimo

    I think she is adorable in a creepy sort of way.
    If I had a penis, I would definitely do her.

  8. Jumpin_J

    Amy Winehouse in training? I love the Brits. Cheers!

  9. hacksaw

    I’d hit it.

  10. erica

    So am I the only one who thinks she looking banging in these pics?

  11. evilbill

    @6 You’ve never passed on that combo before, why the change of heart?

  12. veggi

    hahahaha!! bambi! blood! gown! *breathes*
    that’s fucking brilliant!!

  13. Ted from LA

    Yes, Erica. You’re alone there. However, isn’t it Bambi’s mom that got blasted and not Bambi?

  14. wookielove

    She looks freakin adorable, I could just pinch those cheeks!

  15. Jackson'shole

    The pink hair looks good on her.

  16. BigGyrl

    I would have saved this dress to wear to the PETA benefit.
    This is a GLAMOUR sponsored event. If she really wanted to offend them, she should have worn last year’s Oscar DelaRenta and a two year old pair of Manolo’s!

  17. UNCLE NED

    “At age 15, Allen spent four weeks at The Priory clinic under 24 hour watch after the singer, distraught over a breakup with a boyfriend, took an overdose and tried to cut her wrists.”

    If she succeeded, would anyone care? So, why does anyone care now?

  18. BigGyrl

    ….and the hairdo?
    I would have went to a local mall or even a home coloring kit!!!

  19. Auntie Kryst

    Dear Tara, I still love you but I want to date other people.. PS I’m going to London on vacation, please water the plants. There’s Jager and a case of Natty Light in the fridge.

  20. Jackson

    KIM KARDASKANK IS FAT…BLAH BLAH BLAH BUTT GIRDLES AND PHOTOSHOP.

    By the way, I’m a fucking retard with no life.

    Jackson

  21. Jackson

    KIM KARDASKANK IS FAT…BLAH BLAH BLAH BUTT GIRDLES AND PHOTOSHOP.

    By the way, I’m a fucking retard with no life.

    Jackson

  22. Jackson

    KIM KARDASKANK IS FAT…BLAH BLAH BLAH BUTT GIRDLES AND PHOTOSHOP.

    By the way, I’m a fucking retard with no life.

    Jackson

  23. Jackson

    KIM KARDASKANK IS FAT…BLAH BLAH BLAH BUTT GIRDLES AND PHOTOSHOP.

    By the way, I’m a fucking retard with no life.

    Jackson

  24. Jackson

    KIM KARDASKANK IS FAT…BLAH BLAH BLAH BUTT GIRDLES AND PHOTOSHOP.

    By the way, I’m a fucking retard with no life.

    Jackson

  25. britney spears

    i hope this cunt dies slowly.
    she is so not attractive.

    are you people blind?

    i am prettier than this bitch, ugly as fuck.

  26. D

    She looks great with that pink hair. Now if I could only see the other places where she’s pink…

  27. flyingskeleton

    i just relized that she looks like a cubbie phobe cates. you might remember phobe cate from fast times. i also like that she has many naked pictures of her self on the web but then tells kids not to drink. I want her to be the mother of my children.

  28. wowsa

    You know what? She has quite the BEAUTIFUL face really. Honestly.

  29. I have no clue who she is, but I adore the dress. I’d like one please.

  30. evilbill

    @27 I’m sure you will get a lot of flack for comparing her to Pheobe Cates, but I was thinking the same thing. Although more like Pheobe from Drop Dead Fred. Also, don’t think she looks that chubby in these pics, looks like she’s dropped a few pounds since the last pics of her on here.

  31. Loud Fat Pig...

    …that’s what she is. Gee, Lily, are you trying to make some type of point? Her act is amusing. To retards.

  32. #27 I applaud your spelling abilities, first of all, secondly, she never told kids not to drink. She tells them to drink responsively.

    She’s not my mother..

  33. Kat

    I like Lily Allen – either she had the sense to release the drunken pics would end up all over the net and decided to provide a pre-emptive quote, OR she had the sense to listen to someone else tell her to do it. I think the pink hair is great, too!

  34. Jimboooo!

    I would. I think you would too.

    And the dress is A1.

  35. snarky

    I’d say that’s quirky-cute; but, in fact, its just disturbing. Lily in her handmade dress; it looks like a homemade mess from hell made by some deranged & disgruntled housewife. I think its just a cry for help from Lily; she seems really f’d ever since her miscarriage; hope she gets the help she needs.

  36. Pat

    The problem is that she got drunk and ate the miscarriage. She hasn’t been quite right ever since.

  37. free lily

    she has pretty eyes

  38. Andy

    Fat chick: ugly.

    The truth is never complicated.

  39. flyingskeleton

    @30 yeah i think so too, but in most newest published pictures of her, she was a little big. I didn’t think she was that cute when she was skinny as a pole though, like on her album cover. i’m sure see will find a happy medium.

  40. Ted from LA

    Folks!!! CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME IF IT WAS BAMBI OR HIS FUCKING MOM THAT GOT SHOT? I’m worried my memory is fading and that poor little Bambi took a bullet. What was I writing about? Oh yeah, Tom Cat looks like R.P. McMurphy after the lobotomy. Was that an (wait for it…….wait for it……………………………………………..) inside job they did on McMurphy? So as I was saying, Big Brown is going to win the triple crown from Post 1 come Saturday.

  41. Ted from LA is the new Randal

    makes sense to me

  42. THINK BIG………………………………………………………………….act small!!

  43. BAMBI

    LILY ALLEN IS A CUNT! C U N T!!!

  44. tanlin

    i don’t think she’s wearing any makeup!!!!!!!!!!

    that’s fucking amazing. she looks great w/o it.
    kudos to this girl, that’s a ballsy move that none of the hollywood skanks would make

  45. vapidelf

    She has lovely teeth.

  46. Sara

    I actually think she has a pretty face she looks cute

  47. Erica

    I love her, but that dress is horrid. Now just because I’m a vegetarian and I love animals, no I’m not a Democrat. But ehhh that dress is wrong.

    I like the hair though. The blonde looked BAD. But now it looks cute. Also, she does look like she’s wearing no makeup. That’s amazing.

  48. Erica

    #47. Now just because ^

    not* not now.

  49. Kimberly

    Holy shit!! Blood-spewing Bambi?! My eyes passed over the pattern, and I thought THEY WERE FLOWERS!!

  50. flyingskeleton

    in one of the pictures when the guy is putting her in the car. one of the bouncers has his hand on her left breast.
    http://celebslam.buzznet.com/lily-allen-wasted/lily-allen-wasted-14jpg

Leave A Comment