The Bieber Cartel Just Lost A Soldier, Pour One Out For Little Pizza

January 15th, 2014 // 37 Comments
Fuck Tha Police
Justin Bieber
Justin Bieber's House Got Raided Read More »

Because egging rich people’s homes requires a tactical police response, Justin Bieber‘s house got raided yesterday by the LAPD’s Easter Egg hunting division which resulted in the arrest of one “Lil Za” for drug possession. As for Bieber’s location during the raid, I’m assuming in the same room as Za yelling, “Black guy! The black guy did it!” TMZ reports:

Police now believe the powdered drug they confiscated at Justin Bieber’s house — allegedly belonging to Lil Za — may NOT be cocaine … they think it’s probably Molly … a form of Ecstasy.
Law enforcement sources tell us, they’re testing the drug right now and should have results shortly.

And while this could’ve been a simple matter of being booked and having Bieber’s fancy lawyers beat the charges, there’s something y’all don’t know about, Za. He’s a Wild Kid.

Sources tell us Za was minutes from posting bail and getting released from custody after getting busted for drug possession at Bieber’s house this morning — and then for some reason he flipped out and smashed a phone in the jailhouse.
We’re told Za was almost immediately re-booked for vandalism.

In Za’s defense, he knew he’d have to somehow prove to Bieber he didn’t roll over on him which didn’t go so well for the last guy. Some dude by the name of Paul Walker, you probably never heard of him.

Photo: INFphoto


  1. Cock Dr

    I’m thinking that the whole posse drops X just about every day…then they all have sex with the Maple Syrup Princess. It’s probably a very stable and loving replacement family unit for lil Justine.

  2. Yo! You trip and I’ll come at ya with hard boiled eggs, mutha fucka!

    We rollin deeep up in dis suburb. My homie Lil Za be carryin’ two dozen.

  3. Maybe Bieber is more gangster than we thought, these are clearly the actions of a desperate man too scared to go back home because he knows he is going to get whacked so he gets thrown back in prison by doing something stupid.

  4. This is why you always keep a loyal wannabe in your crew. Bieber probably has Lil Za on speed dial labled “black guy to claim drugs”.

  5. Oh BABY

    When last I checked, Fish, willful destruction of property and/or vandalism ARE crimes. Though it seems pretty clear that you don’t see eggs as weapons of mass destruction, let’s see how you’d react to $20K worth of damage to your shack if the same was done to you (oh wait, you can’t possibly live in a house that nice seeing as how you spend so much on tissues and KY because of your devotion to T&A). The fact that the victim was rich is completely beside the point. Bieber and his giggling, girly crew chose to do damage, and so they should be held accountable.

    Totes love the Little Pizza thing. Your headline is inspired.

    • I don’t think anyone has argued that Biber doesn’t deserve to be arrested and mass raped in jail…in fact, I think I can speak for most people that we actively want that to happen.

      But the question is really “does egging a house merit a massive, tactical response and a search warrant to be executed on his private residence”.

      What possible probable cause could they have put before a judge to justify the warrant? “We suspect he might have eggs”? Or maybe a detailed map of the neighbors house pinned to the wall, marked with “throw egg here”.

      Justin is a little bitch that we all want to see get his due, but the inexplicable lack of due process here is more than a little disturbing. Unless the egging wasn’t REALLY the reason for the warrant…if there’s something else going on, let’s hear it.

      • I live in a fairly expensive neighborhood my town, one time someone was at my house and called 911 by accident and hung up and they sent 6 cars out. Since Bieber likes to hang out with thugs, has God knows how many people in his house at any given time and has highly trained, probably ex-military, armed bodyguards, I assume that is why they sent so many police officers. You are not going over to Dr. John the dentist who is at home alone with his wife and 2 kids.

        The reality is that the other wealthy neighbors don’t want him and his band of little ghetto thugs there anymore and they are sending him a message. You can pull the type of bullshit Bieber pulls when the other guy has no money, but when you start doing that to people with as much or more money than you and more powerful, then they will fuck you life up.

        He committed a crime, it caused damaged that fulfilled the criteria of a felony, that is why they got a warrant. He is lucky he is not in jail right now. Personally I think he should have been arrested for drug possession. The drugs were in his house, and he was present, if you or I were in our homes and the same thing happened, we would have been arrested, regardless of whoever else tried to take the fall.

      • Too Old For That Shit

        I’m an old guy (over 60) and I have a long time friend in
        that complex. You need to realize that’s a VERY nice place.

        So when I leave, sometimes I drive down “his” street.
        I usually try to avoid it, because his “possie” are generally
        a pretty rough crowd.

        In the evenings, he usually settles down with music that is,
        conservatively, twice as loud as a jet plane. 3 blocks away.
        It can’t be much fun to live next door, that’s for sure.

      • The Silver Lining: There’s always napalm!

      • Look at it from both sides...

        If the kid hadn’t spent the last year alienating everybody else
        in that complex, I’m guessing the police would have been less
        aggressive. Who knows, there could be politicians, judges,
        studio execs in that complex, in addition to pale gangstas.
        He runs with a crowd that brings attention, and he thinks
        he can do anything he feels like. That’s the bottom line.

    • Apparently the neighbor’s house has some kind of high-end finish on the exterior, so the damage goes into felony vandalism range.

      My question is: If Bieber is convicted of a Felony, does that mean we can deport his Canadian ass back to the great white north and never allow him back? (Please let “Yes” be the answer)

    • 20K worth of damage is total bullshit.

      • They are saying the finish needs to be re-plastered and it’s going to cost upwards of 20k.
        I’m sure the neighbor is wealthy enough to hire a good lawyer, who in turn figured out a way to make this a felony and thus the search warrant. I say well played Mr. Aggrieved neighbor, well played.

      • When my house was egged it cost me over $1,000 to get everything taken care of so it is entirely possible that the neighbor with a $6 million plus home with a Venetian plaster finish has $20K in damages.

      • I’m sure the neighbor can produce some sort of documentation that there is 20K worth of damage, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t total bullshit.

      • The whole thing is so Canadian. Throwing eggs? Molly? Bieber? Get back to us when it reaches def-con Tupac-Biggie.

      • You are arguing that it is bullshit but have produced no evidence to say otherwise. How do you know? I have a neighbor who is an NBA player, he had his Bentley keyed and it cost $20K to repaint, his Rolls Royce was hit in an accident and it cost $35K to fix it. Guess what, expensive shit is expensive and cost a lot of money to fix.

        Aren’t you a physician? I assume you have a lot of expensive shit that people don’t think is expensive or as expensive as it really is.

      • Dude, come on… a 20K paint job on a Bentley is really just a 2K paint job on a Honda with a rich motherfucker fee of 18K.

      • Look at it from both sides...

        12 Million Dollar plus, but who’s counting…

      • dennis

        Just because that guy’s paint is worth more than your doublewide doesn’t mean it’s bullshit.

        Multi-million dollar homes cost a lot to maintain.

      • cmonreally

        Venetian plaster takes a lot of labor and time to initially put on – to get the plaster on the damaged areas to precisely match the original paint job would take even more labor. In addition to the labor and time that goes into repair, the actual outdoor, Venetian paint itself can be very expensive.

      • Too Old For That Shit

        He had contractors bid, that was the middle number.
        This isn’t plaster and imported wood from Home Depot.

      • Whether or not it’s $20K in damage is neither here nor there. Just throw that nasty little cunt in the Graybar Hotel and have it done with. And no conjugal visits with Selena.

  6. Beer Baron

    Little Pizza. heh. I’m glad that joke made the headline.

  7. JungleRed

    As far as law enforcement goes, a slap fight between rich cunts in a gated community trumps a drive by shooting in Oakland. God bless America!

  8. This is like an animated PBS morning kids show version of the Aaron Hernandez story.

  9. meh

    Wasn’t Selena Gomez rumored to be taking that Molly stuff? Now we know why she keeps going back to JB and his black boyfriend.

  10. Odd that Za has an 88 on his shirt. I wonder if they’ll validate him as a white supremacist gang member.

  11. I hate The Biebs as much as the next guy. I think he is a shining example of near everything that has gone wrong in our culture. That said, a fucking police raid for egging someone’s house is TOTALLY FUCKING INSANE!

    Are you serious? Someone could murder a family of church goers in Compton and you’d be lucky to get a cop to show up and even file a report. But let some little asshole piss off a fellow rich guy and hell hath no fury. JUSTICE WILL BE DONE!!! Give me a fucking break.

  12. Dr.J

    Oh man, I just clicked through to the Wild Kidz – is that right? Do they actually spell that with a Z? Fine, then stick with that. Spell all your C words with K then; if you’re going to fuck with consonants for impact, then you have to commit – Facebook page and it made me so sad. Do you know how much pussy these foolz are getting? So much. So. Much. Ladies! La-dies! Do not en-cou-rage them. Do not, encourage them, with your pussy. Look what happens.

  13. They don’t know what the drug is? I watch a fuck ton of Cops and they can tell what a drug is in seconds.

  14. Jenn

    Eh, I think they were just looking for an excuse to bust this jackass.

  15. Too Old For That Shit

    Little Turd has been harassing everybody he crosses in that
    complex, pretty much since he arrived. He’s the kind of kid
    that flips you off with a scowl, as his posse giggles at you.

    Try to put yourself in the place of a parent with a young child.
    Many of the people in that complex have young children
    He drives through that complex like it’s a freeway onramp.
    It’s just a matter of time until he runs a kid over. Mark my words.

    He may be able to buy off the drug raps, but manslaughter
    will make him a real man, a real Gangsta.

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