Like It Never Even Happened

Charlie Sheen had eight days left on his probation for attacking his ex-wife Brooke Mueller last Christmas, so you’d assume something like drunkenly trashing a hotel room while a hooker hid in the closet would probably constitute some sort of violation. Except, surprise! That would require actual police officers who weren’t starstruck by a guy who wears Hawaiian shirts on a sitcom. TMZ reports:

Sheen may have dodged a bullet. He was not arrested, but cops came close. We’re now told when police arrived to Charlie’s Plaza hotel room, they told him he needed to go to the hospital. Charlie said he did not want to go and he was fine. At that point we’re told the police gave Charlie an option — go to the hospital or go to jail. Charlie wisely chose door number 1.

Obviously, had it been you or me with the hooker, we’d have been TASERed in the reproductive organs before being deported to Canada with all the other sex addicts. But, hey, Charlie has a serious drug problem, so at least CBS did the responsible thing and immediately got him on a private jet to LA this afternoon so he can check back into rehab. Except, surprise again! He’s going right back to work. Suckers:

Charlie Sheen will be sleeping at his L.A. home tonight … shooting a movie Friday … and will be back on the “Two and a Half Men” set a week from today … TMZ has learned.

While this seems like it’d be an awkward situation for Charlie’s co-worker, I’m pretty sure they’re used to it by now and are genuinely happy each time he doesn’t die and put them all out on the street. “Ha! The ol’ hooker in the closet again, Chahlee? Well, at least ya came back to woik and kept the lights on. Doctor says I gots me the gout again.” (Don’t laugh, it’s a daily struggle for Jon Cryer.)

Photos: Splash News