Liberty Ross Wants Rupert Sanders Back
Despite the fact the entire world saw Rupert Sanders pretend he’s Bane by using Kristen Stewart’s vagina as a mask, his wife Liberty Ross apparently still wants to make their marriage work even though she’s already hired a divorce attorney who I’ll just assume’s been tasked with finding legal grounds to make Robert Pattinson have sex with her. TMZ reports:
Sources connected with the couple tell TMZ … although Liberty has lawyered up, her end game is NOT divorce. In fact, Liberty and Rupert have already been to a marriage and family therapist. Our sources say, when they were photographed together on Tuesday in Beverly Hills, they were coming out of an office building where they met with the psychologist.
Although Liberty is not wearing her wedding ring, we’re told her goal is figuring out why Rupert cheated and getting some sort of assurance he views what he did as a terrible mistake that he won’t repeat.
So basically Liberty Ross just has two specific needs before we can all move on with our lives in wake of this horrible tragedy that has shaken civilization to it’s very core, so let me knock those out for her right now:
1. Why did Rupert cheat? New vagina is better than old vagina. Always.
2. Assurance that he regrets banging a hot young actress and won’t do it again: Tell him point blank you want him to lie to you because that’s exactly what you’re asking here.
I just gave away gold for free, didn’t I? Goddammit.