Liberty Ross Wants Rupert Sanders Back

August 9th, 2012 // 52 Comments
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Despite the fact the entire world saw Rupert Sanders pretend he’s Bane by using Kristen Stewart‘s vagina as a mask, his wife Liberty Ross apparently still wants to make their marriage work even though she’s already hired a divorce attorney who I’ll just assume’s been tasked with finding legal grounds to make Robert Pattinson have sex with her. TMZ reports:

Sources connected with the couple tell TMZ … although Liberty has lawyered up, her end game is NOT divorce. In fact, Liberty and Rupert have already been to a marriage and family therapist. Our sources say, when they were photographed together on Tuesday in Beverly Hills, they were coming out of an office building where they met with the psychologist.
Although Liberty is not wearing her wedding ring, we’re told her goal is figuring out why Rupert cheated and getting some sort of assurance he views what he did as a terrible mistake that he won’t repeat.

So basically Liberty Ross just has two specific needs before we can all move on with our lives in wake of this horrible tragedy that has shaken civilization to it’s very core, so let me knock those out for her right now:

1. Why did Rupert cheat? New vagina is better than old vagina. Always.
2. Assurance that he regrets banging a hot young actress and won’t do it again: Tell him point blank you want him to lie to you because that’s exactly what you’re asking here.

I just gave away gold for free, didn’t I? Goddammit.

Photos: INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News


  1. Jake

    They’ll break up – marriages don’t survive this, unless you are poor and have few other real options. But, she’ll give it a go, for the kids, and work double hard in bed for it, until she realizes the magic is gone forever.

    • downdowndown

      Agreed. But seeing a therapist doesn’t going to mean they are staying together, anyway. When you have kids you go to therapy to figure out the best way to handle it. Especially when you really want to rip the guy’s balls off. Gotta think of the kiddos.

  2. Really? I would have to hose Kristen Stewart down with a chemical treatment before she started to compete with Liberty…

  3. McClownerton

    Poor lady. her husband cheats with a surly young man and now she has to get a lifetime suppy of valtrex from his little sexscapade.

  4. Candice

    She looks extremely high maintenance. Which is a top three reason that drives men to other women.

  5. JC

    Put another way:

    “Rupert, I need to understand why you cheated? WHYYYY?”
    “My penis wanted to.”
    “That’s all you have to say.”
    “I know you want some complicated emotional response, but really. The penis commands me.”

  6. MsJonsey

    I think she should just get the divorce, get paid and work on her tan somewhere in Fiji with her personal cabana cleaner, Alejandro Garcia Bernal. Because new penis is better than old penis. Always. Rupert? Really? She could go better. Call in the Skarsgard.

    • Carla

      Amen, right on, word, and pass around the new COCK! Seriously, Fish is right, and so is Ms.J. Go to the therapist if you want to break it the kids the right way, whatever, but if you stick it out with some lying douche then you deserve to be lied to because that’s exactly what you’re asking him to do, continue lying and fucking his way through future Lifetime movie whores.

  7. so

    i am the only one who didn t see any pictures of him going down on kristen just because he was kissing her body mean that they had oral sex in the car 49 pics have been taken so where are the other pics so much lies on this strory she did a bad choice she screw her relationship with rob but that not a reason to lie about what we don t know.

  8. Liv

    ahhhhh poor girl, thinking therapy is going to help. 99% of men that get to meet new hot chicks all the time that think directors are their ticket to fame and fortune are going to cheat over and over again. just because they can. pretty much all it comes down too

  9. Liberty Ross First Public Appearance Since Scandal
    Commented on this photo:

    You’re gonna need a bigger cross to be a matyr.

  10. Just give it up lady. He’ll cheat on you again the first chance he gets. I can’t wait to see who he picks as the female lead in his next movie, cause that’s who he’ll be fucking.

  11. Star Droppings

    Dressing like Madonna is not going to help.

  12. Liberty Ross First Public Appearance Since Scandal
    Commented on this photo:

    See, if she had just hung the cross around the rearview mirror of the car, Kristen Stewart would never have gone anywhere near it. Lesson learned.

  13. Beaver Underground

    She looks like an older version of Stewart. This wasn’t cheating! Rupert was just nostalgic for the times when his wife looked younger. See, it’s really her fault for aging. And women dare blame men! The hypocrisy!

  14. Ramon

    I’m sure she’s loving all the attention.

  15. She looks to be safe from vampires and trampires .

  16. JungleRed

    She looks like Sadie Frost. Same story, too.

  17. Mary Feeney

    Men are visual where sex is concerned, and women reach a peak of visual and thus sexual attractiveness for a brief period of time, just as flowers reach a peak before they begin to wilt.

    Our culture – Hollywood, the fashion industry, the celebrity culture The Superficial, etc. – pressures women to think that they MUST try to always look like “fresh flowers.” And so many women try desperately to hide their age, by injecting junk into their lips (as it appears MS Ross has done), getting plastic surgery, dressing like teenage girls into their fifties and sixties, starving themselves, etc. Women who fall into this are suckers. You do not need to play this game. It is not “feminist” to play this game. To get suckered into playing this game makes a woman the exact opposite of a “liberated woman.” A liberated woman accepts reality as it is, as harsh as it is, and says fuck you to the system that would pressure her to play the game of trying to forever look young and hot. When you seen an older women who is all made up to try to look younger and hotter than she really is (without makeup, surgery, dyes, clothing designed for kids, etc.), you are seeing a moron who is enslaved, not liberated. Wake up girls.

    • Jack Ketch

      And at least one nosejob, at least. Not sure where the “Liberty Ross is gorgeous” is coming from … gah. She looks like an uptight cunt, frankly.

  18. Liberty Ross First Public Appearance Since Scandal
    Commented on this photo:

    “My cat’s name is whiskers.”

  19. rantatonne

    Jewel encrusted crosses don’t buy themselves.

  20. vgrly

    The DVD revenue for SWATH has not come in yet. You know she’s holding up for the DVD revenue. He hasn’t made that much until he gets the cut of the profits which will be much more with DVD sales. The movie didn’t make that much in the box office given the cost of the movie. I give it until the start of the new year that she leaves him.

  21. brian

    She has crazy eyes. No doubt she’d cut your dick off in your sleep if you didn’t take out the trash.

  22. Liberty Ross First Public Appearance Since Scandal
    Commented on this photo:

    I actually think Kristen stewart is way prettier, just google her images shes hot as a blonde.

  23. 1. They have two kids together so at the very least there has to be some sort of try at “working through the problem”.
    2. Liberty seems to have been the breadwinner until the Snow White Movie which has grossed over $150,000,000.
    3. There is a sequel to Snow White planned, and Rupert will probably get a BIG check from it. Liberty would be wise to wait for the deal for the second movie to be signed before hitting him with the divorce papers.

  24. FanGirl

    Why do people even get married anyways? its such a pointless thing to do.

  25. GrandDragon

    That cross she is wearing is bigger than the one they nailed Jesus to.

  26. The Royal Penis

    So she’s gonna lawyer him into monogamy?

    LOL….sure…..tell you what…someone’s gonna get fucked…but it’s the attorney’s that are gonna be doing the fucking.

  27. anonym

    well shit, if i had to choose between this ugly thing and Kristen, I’d choose the latter.

  28. El Jefe

    She is kind of hot.

  29. Joaquin ingles

    Every one of these pics is like a bad Susan Vega video.

  30. JP

    Read: I`ve already banged the young (personal trainer, pilates instructor, pool boy, etc.) dude I`ve always wanted to. Now can I please get back to being the ultra-rich wife of …… what`s his name again?

  31. Negrodamus


  32. Carla

    Fuck that noise, bitch, and get YOURself some strange. That google-eyed motherfucker was straight up boning the skeezer under your nose AND convinced you to play her fuckign MOTHER? Take his ass to the cleaners and save the rest of your lifetime for a new man/men.

    • Toby Weymiller

      Yo, yo, yo, yo bitch, if you’s listening to Carla straight up you’s gonna make the rong decision. That goggle-eyed motherfucker is paying for your credit cards and you look like a trashed piece of garbage. Set him up with new bitches so you kisses you once in a while in public and still pays your bills. Word.

  33. Carla

    BTW this Liberty chick is WAY fucking prettier than Deadeyes Stewart. WTF?

  34. fuckityfuck

    obviously the marriage was flawed to begin with, move on lady and find someone worth your time, fuck memories and forgiveness they just set you up to be hurt again, move on woman

  35. Cressida

    If you’re gonna take Randy Rupert back, just keep wearing that Trampire cross, honey.

  36. Liberty Ross First Public Appearance Since Scandal
    Commented on this photo:

    who is she kidding? she loves the attention.

  37. glenn

    K-stew is way hotter than this chick. Don’t blame the dude. She’s got a great ass and hasn’t popped out any kids yet, no question…

  38. Liberty Ross First Public Appearance Since Scandal
    Commented on this photo:

    She is a unique beauty.

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