Levi Johnston Is Doing ‘Playgirl.’ Again.

God, 2010 was fucked up.

Because Bristol Palin is Biblically and spiritually committed to never keeping her children from their fathers, it took Levi Johnston seven years and over $100,000 just to secure joint custody of his son Tripp. So the man’s gotta make some money, and he’s gotta make it quick. Fortunately for him, we live in a golden age of cock photos and the hungry wiener-whores who are starving to look at them. (You. That’s you guys. I’m talking about you.) Naughty Gossip reports:

Levi is in talks with PLAYGIRL.COM to do another NAKED shoot to help with his legal bills. But this time Playgirl.com is insisting that he do full-frontal, and they liking his new rugged look which is a shoo-in for Playgirl readers.
“Levi has an opportunity now that he was won the custody case with his son to show how hot daddies can be”, a Playgirl rep confirms to NAUGHTY GOSSIP. “we’re currently in New Orleans doing a Daddy model search.”

The only problem is that while posing for Playgirl is a quick money-maker, it’s also a quick way to end up back in court when your pretend Puritan in-laws try to use your exposed dick to keep you from your son.

“Alright, what’s the problem this time?”
“He’s showing people his penis again, your honor.”
“God, this whole family. Alright, moose, this is your jurisdiction. What say ye?”
“Obviously, I’m going to need to see his dick first.”
“Nope, no. We’re not doing that again.”
“How dare you defy moose law?! *bangs hooves on bench* TO THE WOLVES! TO THE WOLVES! COCK-COCK-KALOO! TO THE WOLVES!”

*entire town bursts in and carries judge into the woods*

“TO THE WOLVES! TO THE WOLVES! HE WHO DEFIES THE MOOSE GOES TO THE WOLVES! AH-WOOOOOO!”

Yup, just like that.

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