Let’s Check In With Kanye and Kim’s Handmaid

Am I the only one who thinks it’s kind of weird that Kim Kardashian didn’t bring the surrogate mother of her child to her own baby shower? Were they afraid that she would embarrass them in front of Chrissy Teigen if she showed up all pregnant and gassy? Or perhaps the Kardashians were just doing what they had to do to make sure no one found out their surrogate is actually locked up in a sensory deprivation chamber in the west wing of their Bel Air mansion…

Turns out the surrogate has little-to-no contact with Kim or Kanye, beyond the occasional “I’m not sick or dead” update. According to Celebuzz!, “Kim and Kanye have been virtually hands off” throughout the pregnancy. With the new cosmetics line baby due in January, you would think that now might be the time to at least get a little more involved.

Then again, I know nothing about surrogacy (or being paid Kardashian money) so maybe this is normal. Maybe it’s best she remain in her quarters eating raw meat until the moon has properly aligned with the witching star and the offering must be made. They’re contractually obligated to fulfill the prophecy of a thousand years of darkness by the end of the season, after all.

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