Lesley & Alan Panettiere: ‘We got drunk and did what now?’

August 12th, 2008 // 36 Comments

Within hours of Hayden Panettiere’s father Alan posting bail yesterday for assaulting his wife Lesley (FYI, they were both effing hammered), the two went for a public walk together as a sign of solidarity to show their love is as strong as ever.

ALAN: I blame whoever thought it’d be a great idea to have an open bar.
LESLEY: Dear, that was your idea.
ALAN: Works every time.
LESLEY: What works every time?
ALAN: I dunno.
LESLEY: You put vodka in this Frappucino bottle didn’t you?
ALAN: Yup.
LESLEY: God, I love you.
ALAN: What was that? I threw up on the dog.

Photos: Splash News

  1. rough daddy

    please dont make these people celebrities too,,,

  2. I see the whole family is Lilliputian.

  3. hate 'em

    He looks like Sting and she looks like every trashy live vicariously through my daughter who I whore out for fame and money momager. She also looks a lot like Rosanna Arquette, David Arquette’s other sister.

  4. Kim

    Hayden definitely looks more like her dad, but got her mom’s eyebrows!! Let’s hope she doesn’t age like her mother, she’ll look like an old leather bag by the time she’s 30!

  5. Chelsea

    Classy move with the big sunglasses to hide the bruises too…

  6. morga

    mamma has some gross legs

  7. surlywench

    Why the fuck are these people even remotely newsworthy??? Is there really nothing else going on in the celebutard world today? Sigh….

  8. @ 7 – ditto. Show me more bikinis please.

  9. I hope they get hit by a doughnut truck.

  10. Bastard out of Kentucky

    These pictures prove to me that Hayden Panatiere (sp?) is not human but rather leprechaun.

  11. He hit her, why would she want to be with him no matter the circumstances, as for Hayden looking like her dad, well her Mum looks to have had so much surgery who knows what she used to look like when she was 18…

  12. Prisoner number 080808

    He should be wearing his wife beater T-shirt.

  13. SuperG

    Some funny shit you guys!!

  14. Ted Mosby

    Mamma looks good though I thought streetwalking happened at night.

  15. The Geekologie Writer

    Look at that dog’s body language. Something tells me Mrs. Bowlingball isn’t the only one who gets hit in that family.

  16. Barely Stearn

    Hey! Nuthin’ says love like sharing a walk and a Frap! That bail money must have taken a big bite out of the household budget seeing as how they’ve been forced to share ONE outrageously overpriced Starbucks vomit-in-a-bottle drink…

    Think he might be eyeballing the mailman in these pics: “Hey! Mail guy! Don’t you be disrespectin’ me!”

  17. boo

    That dog is cracking me up. It looks like a cross between a pig and an ardvark.

    And momma has seriously ugly legs.

  18. #15 (happy b-da if indeed that is you) Spot on…

  19. i hope not

    #15. I hope you are wrong, but Oh god look at that sad little guy that is just heatbreaking it really does look like he is abused. If they hit him they deserve to be hit by a bus or Kim Kardashian’s ass which equals a fleet of buses and a steam train.

    Maybe that’s where Hayden got her love of animals, from watching her parents abuse the family pet. Does every teen star have sickening white trash, repulsive, useless, shit stain on the world, pittiful excuses for parents? Wait… those are the only types of people who raise child stars, never mind.

  20. Jerry


    They’d fit right in on the Jerry Springer show.

  21. k

    Do you think Hayden posted his bail?

  22. The Laughing G-D

    Mama’s got a case of shovel feet

  23. Spanky

    “Didn’t we make Hayden the last time we got drunk. Damn you women. Come over here and get your beatin.”

    Yeh, That is what he said. I heard it. I was there.

  24. Spanky

    “Didn’t we make Hayden the last time we got drunk. Damn you woman. Come over here and get your beatin.”

    Yeh, That is what he said. I heard it. I was there.

  25. ben

    I like these pictures~~~~cute dogs~~But my suggestion for this beautiful lady is to remove her personal ad from Richromances.com which is no longer a right place for her

  26. Hfire3

    I think they put vodka in the dog’s bowl. He looks hammered in that first shot.

  27. cathy

    do you know they open their blog on a free interracial dating club ###[[[[[mixedloving .com]]]]]]###. they must hope their fans go there to support them, but their pics in the blog are reeally good.

  28. Wearing a white T-shirt: HE IS AS LAZY AS HELL, folks!!

  29. dew

    I’ve only read this at one other site, so who really knows. But, I read that she actually struck him a few times before he struck her.

    I’m all for punishing abusive men as severely as possible, but if a women is repeatedly striking a man, I couldn’t blame him for hitting back one time.

    But if the story isn’t true, and she’s an abused woman: everyone knows most of them cover for the husband for some mentally-wacked reason.

    Oh, and I also read that his bond was $50,000. Is that a normal bond price for hitting someone?

  30. Fatgirlsrule

    Why is Hayden on a leash?

  31. JJ

    I thought her mum had brown hair? I only remember because when I saw a pic of Hayden and her mum I thought she bore a striking resemblance to Eva Longoria…

  32. HelioMobile

    He’s in good shape for his age! Maybe he is unbreakable like his daughter in HEROS.

    #17 I fell off my chair, good one !

  33. Narcissist

    They look drunk, old and unhealthy in these pics.

    @25 There’s a beautiful lady in these pics? Somebody get that banged up broad some pants.

  34. LA grl

    Her mother was on a soap opera when she was in her 20′s, I believe. Her stage name is different than Hayden’s and has corrected the press. She was a pretty brunette.

  35. wartpig on leash

    “damnit!…um tired a havin’ to walk around on this leash while this douche pulls me all over the place…damnit! decide you prick!…and if he hits me one more time when I’m tryin’ to find a place to pee, I’m make him wish he’d never hit anyone before…grrrrr….grr…..grrrrr…rarrrrr…..(okay, imagine various ferocious fierce doggie noises)..grrrrrr…rarrrr…snap!!!!!

  36. fluffy little three pointer


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