Leonardo DiCaprio’s Banging Blake Lively

May 17th, 2011 // 64 Comments

UPDATE: Now with photos of them together this morning, so I can’t assume this is bullshit like 99% of the things I write about. Goddammit.

At this point it’d just be easier to make a list of who Leonardo DiCaprio isn’t banging now that he’s seven days free of Bar Refaeli‘s supermodel good looks, because Page Six is reporting he’s already made a beeline from Ashley Greene straight to Blake Lively. Think of him as a modern-day Charlie Sheen, but on whichever end of the poon-hound spectrum doesn’t involve prostitution, missing teeth and the inability to ever be taken seriously again:

DiCaprio and Lively were seen roaming around the Hotel du Cap Eden Roc on Friday night. “She was wearing white and he was in a baseball cap,” our spy said. “They walked around the grounds together. It looked like they were a couple.” A source said the two were introduced over dinner at The Lion by “Great Gatsby” director Baz Luhrmann in November.

Based on his past relationships with Bar Refaeli and Gisele Bundchen, Blake Lively is exactly Leo’s type: Awesome breasts with a questionable butterface. Also, she’s 23, so I can really see this thing going the distance and him making a serious commitment of having sex with her for two years, but only when he’s in town and she doesn’t ask about his boys weekends. She’s really going to have to play her cards right.

Photos: Fame, Splash News

superficial

  1. Leo gets more clam than an Alaskan fisherman. That is if Alaska fishermen catch clam. I actually have no idea. They do catch crabs though. I know, maybe he gets more crabs than an Alaskan fisherman.

  2. Internet

    They both have the SAME EXACT face.

    • pretty pictures you fucker

      Thats what you fuckers said about Bar rafeili also……….that the look exactly alike..your all fucked up…blake lively has had a nose job and looked like shit before plastic surgery…..she looked like she sucked her daddys dick on a farm next to a pig…….every girl looks like leo….your all fucking crazy……holy shit………they look exaclty alike man…so did skank bar and leo………leonardo dicaprio is a fucked up idiot who has no brain cells…the guy is a fucking moron…….im leo the lion i know everything about everything….leonardo dicaprio is a fucked up idiot who thinks he knows everything bout everyone on the planet……he thinks he has me figured out also…..he is a dumb fuck………i hope the pychopath dies………leonardo dicprio loves going out with fake women with nose jobs because he knows he isnt man enough to screw the real natural cunt pussys on earth…go stick your cock on blake lively nose and squirt your cum all over it..you freak……..oh yes i love my fake ugly blondes who got nose jobs to pretend like there cunt pussy…..

    • reformed_druid

      That’s because narcissistic people always gravitate to people who look like themselves.

      Like Buffalo Bill said, “Would you do me, I’d do me.”

  3. Venom

    Who is not banging Blake Lively?

    I am sorry she is not that attractive and her fake boobs are pushed in so tight they look like baseballs on her chest.

    Mila Kunis is still the top prize.

    • suck it

      +1

      • who dat

        +2

        Mila is win. However this discriminating assbag only dates tall beachy blonde types. Your loss buddy you are missing out on so much hotness because you have some butterface model fetish. If he wasn’t rich or famous he’d hardly get any tail, the man is boring as shit and looks like a dead bloated version of what he used to look like which wasn’t even that great to begin with.

        Also he was only introduced to Green and then left right after, sorry but she ain’t his type. You have to be at least 5’8″ with a manface to ride the Dicaprio. Also he prefers girls who can’t really speak English, which seems smart, but hearing an endless amount of broken whiny English is actually way worse than regular anglo female verbal diarahea.

    • smash

      you said it better than i ever could…. i

  4. what

    butterface?! bar rafaeli?! whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

    • JC

      Yeah, I’m not seeing butterface applying to Rafaeli, but on the other hand, my cholesterol goes up 5 points every time I see Lively.

    • who dat

      Well yes she’s not a true butterface, but she’s a boring-nothing special face. A girl’s face should make you feel weak, like Mila Kunis that face just knocks you out with those crazy gorgeous eyes. Bar had NOTHING going on in the face, cute but so very meh. if you got rid of her boobs she would look like a lame granola buying hippy. Whereas Mila doesn’t even have much in the boobs and she is just fine as hell.

    • gigi

      of course she is! Bar is a true example of ‘body trumps face’ that’s why in most of her pics where she looks ‘hottest’ her hair almost completely covers her face… the art director is GENIUS!! ha!

  5. From a 25 year old, to a 24 year old, to a 23 year old…I see what you’re up to Leo. I can also deduce with 99% accuracy that Jessica Lowndes is next.

  6. if he’s poppin nuts like chinese watermelons more power to him, he’s earned it

    • charlie dullness

      Like chinese watermelons??? Pls elaborate – inquiring minds want to know!

      • Watermelon Man

        http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/05/17/exploding-watermelons-chinese-farmers_n_862947.html

        Almost like Union Carbide @Bhopal is managing the world’s food supplies.

      • exploding anus melon

        Holy shit! Missed that one on drudge this am…

        Thanks again for NAFTA, Clinton.

      • Fact Czech

        nafta was george h w bush’s baby. clinton signed it after the fact..

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nafta

        “Following diplomatic negotiations dating back to 1986 among the three nations, the leaders met in San Antonio, Texas, on December 17, 1992, to sign NAFTA. U.S. President George H. W. Bush, Canadian Prime Minister Brian Mulroney and Mexican President Carlos Salinas, each responsible for spearheading and promoting the agreement, ceremonially signed it. The agreement then needed to be ratified by each nation’s legislative or parliamentary branch.

        Before the negotiations were finalized, Bill Clinton came into office in the U.S. and Kim Campbell in Canada, and before the agreement became law, Jean Chrétien had taken office in Canada.”

      • exploding anus melon

        Mmhmm, mmhmm, yes…and who signed it into law, again?
        And, you assume I’m a fan of the Bush dynasty?? That was a disaster as well. You commie libs assume ‘wingnut’ in the least bit of criticism of any of your depraved heroes. Get over yourselves, already! It’s not a sporting event where you choose sides and defend them to the death. These are fucking *politicians* we’re talking about.

  7. It had to be said

    That dress is good stuff for a girl who’s normally meh. I’d like to see it in a pile in my kitchen floor.

  8. Blake Lively Leonardo DiCaprio Cannes
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    He has that post-starlet-coital glow about him.

  9. Blake Lively Leonardo DiCaprio Cannes
    Jill_Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    This is the look of post-coital-Lively bliss

  10. Deacon Jones

    What’s really disturbing, especially for you FISH since you’re obsessed with this girl, is look at her reaction around him.

    This woman is an international star, and she’s literally starstruck just being around him.

    THAT’s the type of influence this little fucker has on women. It makes me hate him even more than when “Titantic” came out.

  11. Cock Dr

    Never has one man made out so well off the success of one acting role.
    He’s not even that good looking. Meh.

  12. Blake Lively Leonardo DiCaprio Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Blake: “That was REALLY amazing, Leo. I felt just like Rose! Can I call you Jack, just as a bit of sexy fun? Would you mind? Can we do the bow of the boat thing this evening, Jack? I brought along a ballgown and everything. Maybe later you can draw me nude. What do you think. Jack? That would be the creme de la creme!”

    Leo: “Yeah, I was thinking something more along the lines of The Departed. Whatever.”

    • Gracien

      That’s almost what I was thinking.
      The dude’s banging all those actresses who fell in love with him in Titanic when they were kids.
      Dream came true for that bitch.

  13. They were at the front of the boat and she fell for that whole “King of the World” schtick.

  14. The Critical Crassness

    Bar Rafaeli to Ashley Green….fair ; Green to Blake Lively….not so much! Unless she is a whole lot less of a PT in private than she is otherwise…Leo will be so over her by next week, it won’t be funny. He should have stuck with Green, who has publicly proclaimed that she needs sex at least 2 or 3 times a day. WTF were you thinking, Leo?

    • Jillia

      She said she needed sex 2 or 3 times a day? And you believed her??? Hahahaha! Sounds like you’re the “gullible, dick in his hand” kind of guy that statement was intended for.

  15. Blake Lively Leonardo DiCaprio Cannes
    Roofies Yum
    Commented on this photo:

    Ohhh psych! Leo just entered the friend zone! He must smell like coconut.

  16. Savalas

    Now he’s out of breath, and he’s banging Blake slowly.

  17. The Lord Almighty

    Stop talking out of your behind, its common knowledge in Hollywood that he is gay and these women are beards for him to help their own careers.

    • V

      Is this 1998 again?

      He’s not gay, dude. There’s somes guy who, believe it or not, CAN score with pretty girls. If you can believe it.

      • The Lord Almighty

        Well if you’d seen him at the party I was at with his limp wrists and femme body language, mincing through the grass on tippy toes and squealing like a girl when the sprinkler sprayed him you’d think differently :)

      • TTT

        oh God! I hope that is a true story.

  18. Morgan

    Fucking Leo man, it’s like he’s going after my whole top 10 list of chicks – just to spite me.

    Hats off anyways….pulling all those fine women is quite an accomplishment.

    I’m jelly as fuck.

  19. V

    HA! did I not tell you yesterday he probably left Bar for someone younger that kinda looked like her? Leo has this type: blonde, tall, leggy, young, hot and successful. Even if Blake’s success comes from sleeping with Harvey Weinstein, who cares? To him it counts that it’s not just some nobody and that she’s supermodel hot. That’s his MO. Leonardo never dates common looking women or nobodies. He’s so into the same type of chick: models or model/actress. And he dumps them as soon as they turn 25, 26, 27. He has NEVER dated a woman close to 30 or over 30. Never in his life.

    He’s so ridiculous sometimes. He forgets he’s not the hottest thing in Hollywood anymore. He’s starting to look like Jack Nicholson and Garfield’s bastard child.

  20. wowzajlo

    defnitely an upgrade. she is hot refaeli is an old sour lemon face.

    • her face is like that

      because he just performed an ATM on her-but (no pun intended) who wouldn’t? I would spend so much time impaling that little butt that by the time she’s 30, she would be wearing depends.

  21. who dat

    I KNEW IT!!! The second I heard they met back when she was auditioning for the Great Gatsby (ha please girl know your place) I said they would end up dating. He LOVES tall booby butterfaces with long beach girl hair.

    At least for once she’s not a model, she just looks like one and clearly could have been one if she didn’t get the horrendous idea that she could act into her wee head. We’ll see how long it lasts. I think it may last a while, but can’t say I see her becoming Mrs. Dicaprio.

    She seems nice and bubbly in interviews, but lets be honest here Leo does not date women he can have a meeting of the minds with. I honestly can’t imagine how painful conversations with the girls he dated were. Imagine a montage of all of them smashed together and just hearing the endless boring shit they talked to him about. The man is patient and smart since he dated two girls who could barely speak English. Good luck with Lively dude she speaks English and from what I’ve seen in interviews she LOVES to talk and especially about shoes and fashion. ya have fun with that.

    P.S. THANK you superfish for finally acknowledging that Giselle, Bar and Lively are butterfaces at least to some degree. Giselle takes the butterface cake though, her damn NFL hubby if prettier facially than she is.

    • 15piecesofflare

      So if Blake speaks understandible English AND she has a job that involves walking and talking and moving her arms and legs and stuff… does this mean Leo is …. maturing?

      • who dat

        Maybe only slightly, but he wil ALWAYS be a man boy who got into a buffet for free and is going to eat all he can without any regard before the world figures out what a boring one talent mediocre looking douche he is.

    • Jillia

      Agree to disagree. Giselle may have sort of a man face, but I gotta say, I think Lively takes the butterface crown.

  22. TTT

    Maybe she would be cute if her boobs did not look painfully bolted on and her teeth were not black light white. She just has to try to hard to look so average.

  23. Blake Lively Leonardo DiCaprio Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously, it’s got to be good to be Leo

  24. kulit

    leo is prettier than blake.

  25. mensa

    downgrade.

  26. puddleduck

    Pretty soon Leo is gonna have to move to Mars to hunt chicks, cause he’s fucked everybody here on earth.

  27. CptCreep

    I wonder if his pickup line is “Hey baby, wanna see the the “Titanic” sink?”?

  28. zomgbie

    he finally downgraded to a woman who is shorter than he is.

  29. Suge

    She’s so disgusting. Butt ass ugly. And she’s screwing him for publicity and career advancement. Just not sure why he wants to screw her. She’s just plain gross.

  30. Blake Lively Leonardo DiCaprio Cannes
    Jill_Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously, Cock Dr? Do we share a brain?

  31. gigi

    Leo’s having fun. Period. More power to him. What’s with the Blake hate? you know want to be her! lol

  32. Blake Lively Leonardo DiCaprio Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    leonardo THE ASSHOLE dicarpio

  33. tlmck

    I’m sorry, but I have never seen the attraction of that girl. She is average looking, could not act her way out of a paper bag, and yet she is the darling of Hollywood. Go figure.

  34. the captain

    they both needed to be in the news again.
    ………SO?

  35. Blake Lively Leonardo DiCaprio Cannes
    Deryn
    Commented on this photo:

    Ehh, he’s just mulling over what a stud he is.

  36. Blake Lively Leonardo DiCaprio Cannes
    Karen
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, I hope that, for his sake, dating this assface is just part of being stuck in a fifth level dream (or something like that. Not really got anything from that pathetic movie Inception) and he will soon wake up and realize that he is still with Bar Refaeli

  37. Blake Lively Leonardo DiCaprio Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s such a gentleman hugger. My lower hand would be up between her legs already.

  38. Blake Lively Leonardo DiCaprio Cannes
    991-Charles Jakes
    Commented on this photo:

    God, fuck this lucky bastard already! What a douche!!!

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