Leo Dicaprio (Lord Hog Body) Grossed Out Some Young Models

Saying that Leonardo DiCaprio has a “dad bod” is a gross misuse of a lame buzzword. The guy doesn’t have kids and eats vagina out of a trough, so I think it’s time we all stop tip toeing around this one and just call DiCaprio a hog body from now on. How about Lord Hog Body, as he sits atop the noble hierarchy of his pussy posse. That being said, he was busted by a ‘spy’ at a 4th of July party flexing his hog body to models in their early 20’s who were clearly not trying to win Leo’s blue ribbon that day. From PageSix:

The “Wolf of Wall Street” star was overheard boasting about his workout habits — or lack thereof — at a pre-Fourth of July bash in Malibu, Calif.

“It was a party at this private estate. He was drinking his beer and bragging to these models about how he doesn’t work out,” a spy told us.

Apparently, the girls weren’t impressed. “The girls were like, ‘Does he think that’s attractive? It’s not like he’s in ‘Titanic’ shape anymore,’” the source quipped.

This is everything. This made my morning. This is more glorious than the sunshine breaking up those rainclouds outside my window. This is today’s extra pancake. Let’s just take it a step farther though, because I’m a jerk.

*Tosses a football to Orlando Bloom*
“Nice catch, O-town! Sup, ladies – do you know who I am?”
“Sorry, we’re in the middle of a conversa-“
“Yea I don’t even work out anymore, ever since I finally got that statue I’m just like ‘whatever’.”
“… yea, we can tell.”
“Wanna make out or somethin? I got the Entourage box set at the crib- you know I live like the real-life version of that show so it’s kind of about me.”
“You’re like my dad…”

*Leo laughs and swigs down sadness with a Leinenkugel summer shandy*