Yellow Grimace & The 71st Annual Golden Globes

January 13th, 2014 // 173 Comments

Because I wasn’t fucking around when I said we’re getting in and out of the Golden Globes, here’s the rest of the shit you might possibly, but not really, need to know. Starting with these red carpet photos, this Ronan Farrow tweet which is so awesome, he has to be Sinatra’s son:

And Gwyneth Paltrow drinking our peasant water which is the real news here, not how much Chris Martin clearly hates her because who doesn’t know that?

Gwyneth Paltrow Chris Martin Golden Globes

She reportedly spent the rest of the night complaining of scurvy and demanding cold compresses from a Parisian cheese cloth soaked in diamond-filtrated spring water that’s been slightly licked by an osprey. And some quail eggs on Melba toast if you’d be so kind. Poached!

Photos: Getty

superficial

  1. Lena Dunham Fat Gut Prison Tattoos 71st Annual Golden Globes
    Commented on this photo:

    Mmmm…nothing completes a Golden Globes ensemble like shitty tattoos and back fat.

  2. Lena Dunham Fat Gut Prison Tattoos 71st Annual Golden Globes
    Commented on this photo:

    Fugly has a new best friend!

  3. Emma Watson Butt 71st Annual Golden Globes
    Commented on this photo:

    The dress needs to be turned around and the pants left at home.

  4. Hayden Panettiere 71st Annual Golden Globes
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like the daughter of Neelix and Kess from Star Trek Voyager.

  5. Maria Menounos 71st Annual Golden Globes
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    I am embarrassed to say I did not recognize her from the front.

  6. Jenna Dewan Cleavage 71st Annual Golden Globes
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t be the only person who thinks this woman is weird looking.

  7. Emma Watson Butt 71st Annual Golden Globes
    anonym
    Commented on this photo:

    stupid style. That dress is for wearing buck nekkid, like a hospital gown.
    let your ass hang out

  8. Emma Watson Butt 71st Annual Golden Globes
    Commented on this photo:

    Does this dress make my butt look big?

  9. Julia Louis Dreyfus Cleavage 71st Annual Golden Globes
    Commented on this photo:

    Great dress, too.

  10. Tina Fey Amy Poehler 71st Annual Golden Globes
    Commented on this photo:

    Love these two besties.

  11. Hayden Panettiere 71st Annual Golden Globes
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought Smurfs were blue.

  12. Sandra Bullock Cleavage Bony Chest 71st Annual Golden Globes
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t like the wrapper, but what’s inside still ain’t bad.

  13. Kaley Cuoco Cleavage 71st Annual Golden Globes
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    I see somebody took a picture of what’s inside her brain.

  14. Taylor Swift 71st Annual Golden Globes
    Vladimir
    Commented on this photo:

    When that kid fills out, she’s gonna be quite a looker…like when she’s 42.

  15. Maria Menounos 71st Annual Golden Globes
    Vladimir
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s like the 5th Kardashian…

  16. Lena Dunham Fat Gut Prison Tattoos 71st Annual Golden Globes
    Vladimir
    Commented on this photo:

    Better get used to it, Gentlemen; she is the future of young Hollywood. Actor, writer, director, producer. Gonna see a LOT more of this…

  17. Channing Tatum Jenna Dewan Cleavage 71st Annual Golden Globes
    Vladimir
    Commented on this photo:

    She reminds me of John Leguizamo in drag…

  18. Kate Mara Cleavage 71st Annual Golden Globes
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    Kate Mara is a hottie. That is all.

  19. Taylor Swift 71st Annual Golden Globes
    Commented on this photo:

    Normally she just looks boring and plain, here she looks terrible.

  20. Lena Dunham Fat Gut Prison Tattoos 71st Annual Golden Globes
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    those were all really funny. great job guys.

    i know i’m showing up late and my caption isn’t that ground breaking… but…

    the yellow grimace cannot be defeated. the yellow grimace cannot be killed. the yellow grimace is immortal. attacking it only makes it angry. and woe be unto those whom it identifies as food.

  21. Reese Witherspoon 71st Annual Golden Globes
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    25 for dumhan and only 1 for witherspoon?
    thats a bit disappointing.

  22. Emma Watson Butt 71st Annual Golden Globes
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    her butt is little and cute. (there’s nothing wrong with that!!)
    this ‘outfit’ simply draws attention to it.

  23. Maria Menounos 71st Annual Golden Globes
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    this is a beautiful woman.

  24. Tina Fey Amy Poehler 71st Annual Golden Globes
    Vladimir
    Commented on this photo:

    My gut instinct tells me, that when the lights go out, Poehler is the one you want to be next to…

  25. Lena Dunham Fat Gut Prison Tattoos 71st Annual Golden Globes
    sHANA
    Commented on this photo:

    SHE’S SLIGHTLY OVERWEIGHT AND HER DRESS IS YELLOW! LOOOOL! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

  26. Sandra Bullock Cleavage Bony Chest 71st Annual Golden Globes
    Sho
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks way worse than Lena. No witty comments or jokes?

  27. Maria Menounos 71st Annual Golden Globes
    Shawn
    Commented on this photo:

    Do all Greek women have amazing asses or is it just Tina Fey and Maria Menouwhateverthefuck?

  28. Lena Dunham Fat Gut Prison Tattoos 71st Annual Golden Globes
    Commented on this photo:

    …..what…..?!?

  29. Emma Watson Butt 71st Annual Golden Globes
    Commented on this photo:

    eh?….

  30. Hayden Panettiere 71st Annual Golden Globes
    Commented on this photo:

    terrible hair

  31. Sandra Bullock Cleavage Bony Chest 71st Annual Golden Globes
    Commented on this photo:

    looks silly on her.

  32. Taylor Swift 71st Annual Golden Globes
    Commented on this photo:

    nasty. she is disappearing

  33. Maria Menounos 71st Annual Golden Globes
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    love it

  34. Lena Dunham Fat Gut Prison Tattoos 71st Annual Golden Globes
    Commented on this photo:

    SNOO SNOO STOMP ON YOU GARGGGHGARBLE

  35. Kate Beckinsale Cleavage 71st Annual Golden Globes
    Commented on this photo:

    homegirl got some shit done to her face =/

  36. Lena Dunham Fat Gut Prison Tattoos 71st Annual Golden Globes
    Commented on this photo:

    Christ that’s fucking nasty

  37. Lena Dunham Fat Gut Prison Tattoos 71st Annual Golden Globes
    D-chi
    Commented on this photo:

    You guys are kind of pathetic.

  38. Taylor Swift 71st Annual Golden Globes
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks disgusting

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