Leah Remini auditioning to be godmother of J-Lo’s baby(s)

January 30th, 2008 // 87 Comments

Leah Remini wants to have some relevance to her life since King of Queens went off the air, so she’s angling to be godmother to her good friend Jennifer Lopez’s unborn baby(s), according to People:

“We’re asking for an audition for godparent roles,” Remini, 36, joked to PEOPLE at the premiere after-party for her new comedy Over Her Dead Body Tuesday night. “Um … so, we’re waiting to hear back.”

I think Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony should seriously consider Leah’s case. I mean, Leah is an OT V in Scientology. I’m assuming that means she’s allowed to look at Tom Cruise’s face. But not in the eyes. Anyway, she has experience dealing with aliens which, let’s be real, one or two of them are popping out of that J-uterus. I know for a fact that Marc Anthony crash landed at Roswell. Then he salsa-danced his way out of the wreckage and into our hearts.

NOTE: Here’s a crazed letter from Leah Remini urging other Scientologists to become “clear” by crossing a bridge with rainbows or something. It’s sort of like Lord of the Rings but less believable.

Photos: Getty Images
superficial

  1. digdug

    what does homewrecker want now?

  2. Scientologists are sooo glib!

  3. Hash

    Cool first, now I can read the story. Who the f*ck is that bitch anyway?

  4. Anonymous

    J-Ho is a miserable skank and her kids will be born with tails.

  5. who fucking AUDITIONS to be a god parent. all you do is buy a birthday present once in awhile. what are they gonna do, practice buying onesies? real fucking difficult Leah…

  6. FCS

    King of Queens went off the air?

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  7. The White Urkle

    Crazy or not, I would love to stick my tongue up Leah Remini’s ass! Although, she did turn into a JLH when she was knocked up. She recovered nicely though.

  8. AJLAJ

    I never understood king of queens.. then I got married.

    I wouldn’t listen to anything an alien worshiper says. #2. She homewrecked? Fuck I love it these celebretards cannot for all their money conduct themselves with any fucking dignity it hilarious and really, really pathetic.

  9. Lacy

    Omg…that bitch is fucking cookoo for coco puffs. That letter is proof.

  10. Can you believe in aliens AND “god”parents? Isn’t that an oxymoron or are they morons? I’m confused!

  11. Tanys

    she isn’t even in Over Her Dead Body….why does it say “her” new comdey

  12. p0nk

    i was a stalled Clear once. my parents were so ashamed of me they made me wear a muzzle and an entire box of Depends.

  13. El-Coyote

    Wait… She was in KoQ with Kevin James…. KJames was in Hitch with Will Smith…. Will Smith hangs out with Tom Cruise who incidentally LOVES THE COCK. The Scientology carousel comes full circle I see…..

    Batshit crazy….

  14. PunkA

    I just think I figured out what this Scientology stuff is all about!! It is a huge MLM scam. Sign up, then sign up two beneath you. From there, get them to “buy” courses, “buy” products, and then manage your downline. Don’t let people “stall”, because if they do, you lose residual revenues. Keep the troops motivated, keep them moving up a mythical chain, and keep feeding the people above you your hard earned cash.

    Yep, Scientologists are doers. They make things happen. And they are doing it with your hard earned money. SUCKER.

  15. D. Richards (Hands.)

    Marc Anthony crash landed his UFO at roswell!

    I can’t top that. Hilarious!

    But Leah Remini: she’s Jenny-J-Lo-Selena’s ugly friend! Ha! And in scientology, when sombody says they’re going to become a child’s godmother, they become just that. The child’s god.

  16. PunkA

    Hey, remember when Leah worked with Zach and Kelly and Slater and Screech at the Beach Club her chubby dad managed? Yeah, good times. Good times.

  17. The White Urkle

    I too was a stalled Clear once. Right after my vasectomy. My tea bag looked like a big black/purple and yellow water ballon. Hurt like a son-of-a-bitch! Anyone who says it doesn’t hurt is a freaking liar. In case you are wondering.

  18. blp

    I’d offer to bang her so hard if she wasn’t crazy, but it’s not worth the hassle of spending a second listening to a scientologist talk. Unless she’s into being gagged..that could work.

  19. NYC Scientologist

    I’m probably the only Scientologist that reads these comments about us and think it’s hilarious.

    Good stuff! Keep up the good work!!

  20. Is she a high preistess of the scientology cult with that hideous black robe number?

  21. PunkA

    Hey #21, is it true that both Leah and Kate carried the spawn of L. Ron Hubbard in their wombs? Is Xenu looking for a new vessel? I heard John travolta wanted to, but his performance in battlefield Earth so bad, Xenu almost kicked him out.

  22. Scientologist

    OT 1st!

  23. stalled “Clear”???

    Fuck. All these years since I read that one life-changing pamphlet…you have to admit, the word sounds an awful lot like “queer” when people say it out loud. Fucking dyslexia.

  24. woodhorse

    They might as well give those babies to Hannibal Lector to scoop out their brains and eat them. Same difference.

  25. Boba Fett

    what a sick , pathetic freak.

  26. NYC Scientologist

    Hey #23, absolutely! All our children are off-spring of L.Ron Hubbard. Every time we want to knock up one of our women we just dig his ass up and squeeze his balls and get a few spermetezoa from his rotten nutsack.

    Yeah, too bad Battle Field Earth sucked or else John Travolta would have gotten his free spaceship ride to Xenu! Damn! Ahhh well…better luck next time.

  27. Auntie Kryst

    That Leah is a great snake oil salesman. It’s not enough to spend all your money to go “clear”, you got to keep going. By clear it means someone finally answered the multiple choice questionaire correctly, and spent thousands of dollars to do so. I do stress answering mulitple choice questions, that’s all emeter readings are. Regardless, the race is never run. Keep on spending. Now you have to keep on spending to become an operating thetan or OT. Shit there are ranks for OTs! She’s a level 5. Spend spend spend.

  28. Dick Richards

    I thought all of NYC’s homeless population were scientologists?

    #28? How’d you manage to get online? Are you using a floor-model computer in a Target somewhere hiding from the cold, typing?

    And Battle Field Earth is my favorite movie; John Travolta, my favorite actor. Boyee, can that guy play one mean villain. I also like the way he feigns to be a smoker in every one of his rolls. It makes him look like he’s holding a tiny penis.

  29. momo

    i wud tap her

  30. Gerald_Tarrant

    PunkA, she was hot in those beach episodes of Saved By The Bell. I thought, “damn she’s almost as hot as Kelly.”

    Now she looks like she’s been hanging out with Kirstie Alley. News flash Leah, black doesn’t make you look smaller, it just makes you look like a fat chick wearing black.

  31. NYC Scientologist

    Hey #30, I’m sure you’d know a thing or two about holding a penis and putting it in your mouth, jealous of John? Sure looks like it.

    Actually the computer I’m on is in a space ship hovering just above NYC and I’m using a new laptop from Apple that allows me to float while using it. Sure is cool up here.

    And no, not ALL of NYC’s population are Scientologists, just most of them. U gotta get your information straight before you post on here and look like a dip shit. Try again.

  32. Wendiloa

    She used to be hot when she was a lot younger, but now she’s only hot in a “I’d like to rub my ass on her face to wipe that fucking grin off” kind of way. It’s the kind of “hotness” you find in smug older chicks, who, of course, are not hot at all. Sharon Stone, for example (although for her, I’d do it only after refraining from wiping).

  33. ME

    They’re creepy and they’re kooky,
    Mysterious and spooky,
    They’re all together ooky,
    The Scientology Family.

  34. Juaqin Ingles

    #34, She used to be smokin… I remember her from some really retarded sitcom way back I can’t even remember the name of and of which there was no reason to watch 5 minutes of other than to see Leah Remini… God Father Time sucks balls. This is when they really SHOULD have King of Queens on the air though… She’s actually plain enough to be married to someone like Kevin James.

  35. D. Richards (Thetan.)

    #33? You take every single thing people say literally? No wonder you believe in scientology; the typed word, is a true word. Go figure!

    And, if you would have comprehended my deepening sarcasm, you would have noticed that I likened scientologists to the crazy people that live on New York city’s streets (Homeless).

    I’m that good. People read what I type, and perceive it as such genuine statements, that they actually believe them! Ha-Ha!

  36. NYC Scientologist

    Hey Dick. Sorry…I got confused by your name (Dick) and then by your talking about dick and for some reason, I guess I just thought you were a big fan of dick. Obviously my mistake completely. You can see how gullible we are, good call Dick!

  37. #37, she’s been in SEVERAL retarded sitcoms. I think she was a teenage orphan in one of them..

  38. PunkA

    #33. You know, the L Ron Hubbard “Out there” stuff, I just do not get it. Not trying to be Public Enemy #1 here, but seriously, the OT levels do include Xenu stuff for clearance of thetans. I mean, really? Seriously? Volcanoes and murder? What guy. And what a scam. like saying that Gandalf the Grey is real, and Middle Earth is New Zealand.

    But other than that, I am all for self improvement. Just not at the expense of others. Such as that overt act you had to do to an enemy to prove you could be counted on as a god soldier.

  39. D. Richards (Teegeeack!)

    #39? Beautiful retort, spaceman.

    Look-at me! I’m arguing with a scientologist. Well, not really arguing per se.

    Arguing implies that the people involved are on the same playing field; Nope, I’m just making this person look like a complete asshole.

  40. Cap'n Pickles

    What gets me is that these ‘tards are actors. Granted, becoming famous being an actor is like winning the lottery, but jeesh, it’s not like these people are the “authorities” on anything. I don’t think any of these people even attended college. I don’t think Cruise or travolta even finished high school. We are supposed to listen to them? I used to be an actor, and, believe me, that shit isn’t hard. I eventually got into science. Now THAT is hard. It’s easy to see how Hubbard roped them. The topper on the cake is that Hubbard started the religion as a joke. He bet some dude he knew he could start a religion. The whole thing is based on a novel he was writing at the time. Looks like the joke is on them.

  41. MeepinSnarf

    The only thing that is Clear here, is that she has cocaine crazy eye. And apparently she was “Stalled” at a Dennys. When the hell is L. Ron gonna beam these douchebags up? He’s probably too busy snorting Nyborg at Jabba’s palace, and getting lap dances from that chick with three tittys from Total Recall.

    Nanu-Nanu, Dipshits.

  42. PunkA

    #42 Look out D. Me might become “fair game” for the Scientologists on the board.

  43. Veroonica

    How true. Notice how almost all the scientology chicks have fat asses. Then again, most women that marry gay men get fat.

  44. MeepinSnarf

    #46
    Yeah, his book shouldve been called “Diabetics”

  45. Juaqin Ingles

    FRIST, yes! That was it… she was some orphan girl… with other orphan girls or something… and she modeled lingerie in one episode… but fuck… they didn’t show the pics…

  46. She is too awesome to get involved in this scientology business

  47. Nasty Nate

    Bloated Scientologist is bloated.

Leave A Comment