Leah Remini And JLo Ruined Space Jesus’ Wedding

“Any advice for the bride?”
“Yeah! Don’t let Matt Damon watch you guys bang, it’s super weird.”
“Okay wow, Leah, let’s go ahead and switch to water for a bit.”

Because Scientology is just the NSA with volcano aliens and forcible happy endings, church members are require to submit “knowledge reports,” which you’ll be surprised to learn are just snitch documents that get filed away for future blackmail purposes. One such report documented Leah Remini’s crimes against Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes at their wedding which included Leah asking about an acquaintance, then asking if her guests would be allowed to sit with her. Suppressive bitch! Via Radar Online:

“Leah noticed that [Scientology leader David] Miscavige was there without his wife, and was instead getting friendly with his female assistant. Leah asked about it, and was told by Tommy Davis, the son of actress Anne Archer and a Sea Org lackey to Tom Cruise, that Leah “didn’t have the f**king rank” to ask about Shelly’s whereabouts.”

“Leah also caused a stir when she asked to have Jennifer Lopez moved because J-Lo wanted to sit with her,” continues Ortega. “These disturbances were apparently enough to concern both Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, who slighted Leah and Angelo and wouldn’t shake their hands after the ceremony.”

Supposedly this was the last straw that led to Leah leaving Scientology but there had to be more to it than that.

“Hey Jenny, does Katie look alright to you?”
“No, girl, her eyes are all blank like she just saw her parents being tortured.”
“We need to say somethi– *puff of smoke* John Travolta! How’d you get here?”
“No clue. Last thing I remember was drawing a bath for my son, then poof, I’m here talking to you.”

Photo: Getty