Lea Michele’s New Boyfriend Is A Gigolo

June 11th, 2014 // 31 Comments
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Seen here playing Licensed Driver in her music video for “On My Way,” Lea Michele‘s new boyfriend Matthew Paetz is apparently a gigolo. Or at least was until he found steady work in the lucrative field of schnozz-plumbing that all the other fellows can only dream about. TMZ reports:

Lea has been quietly dating Matthew Paetz for the last few months … she has very consciously kept the relationship on the down low.
Sources close to the couple tell us … Matthew has been a hired gun for Cowboys4Angels under the alias, Christian.
Cowboys4Angels — which offers male “companionship” to lonely women — is featured on Showtime’s, “Gigolos.”
According to the website … Matthew is a certified life coach, dating expert and massage therapist … charging $350 for one hour and up to $6,000 for a weekend. For $17,500 you can get a whole week.

Sources tell us … Matthew most recently took on a client for a weekend during the Stagecoach music festival in April. He’s gone on hiatus since he started dating Lea.

Holy shit! There are websites where you can rent dudes?! Keep in mind, Lea Michele’s last boyfriend was a heroin addict, so in her defense, this is a step-up for her. And unless this guy was accepting male clients, I doubt he was having lots of sex with clients because there’s no way that’s why women hire gigolos. If you asked him about his day, he’d probably tell you he made $1,000 just to pretend curtain selection is the window to the soul and the most important decision in a person’s life. After whether these shoes makes your ankles look fat. He’s practically a philosopher.

Photos: INFphoto, Pacific Coast News

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  1. I’ve always wanted to DP a chick’s nostrils. So long as the balls don’t touch, but I don’t see that as being a problem here.

  2. Lea Michele Nipple Slip
    Commented on this photo:

    A few sit-ups, stomach crunches and leg presses would help this photo immensely.

    • A lens cap would be quicker.

    • ManWhoHasSeenAVagina

      You can’t spot reduce! When will people learn this? Losing fat is all about diet (90%), and exercise has very little to do with it. No wonder so many people look like absolute shit. Lea’s body isn’t too bad though, I’d happily fuck that even if it wouldn’t be my top choice.

      As for working out, women need to do the same shit as men. That means deadlifts (most importantly), squats (front squats are my preference), and then a handful of other stuff (bench press, military press, leg extensions/curls, bicep curls, tricep extensions, flyes, hyperextensions, hanging leg raises, etc). I finally got my girlfriend deadlifting about a year ago and it totally changed her life, she couldn’t believe how much time she was wasting in the gym before that. If you aren’t lifting heavy (which is relative), then just don’t even bother. And girls will not get bulked up, so that’s not an excuse. Most dudes won’t get especially muscular either, unless they are really dedicated or just genetically gifted.

      • A lot of North American women won’t lift weights because they’re afraid of looking “masculine”. But resistance weight training is an important part of keeping fit, especially since lean muscle mass burns calories more than fat tissue.

        That said: Lea Michele reminds me of this from the Breakfast Club:

      • Actually I think this would make a very good comedy: My Boyfriend is a Hooker! Starring Lea Michele and Zac Efron and directed by Jon Favreau.

      • ManWhoHasSeenAVagina

        It would make an awful movie. And Favreau is too good for that shit. But, it would probably be a hit with the fans of Lea Michele and Zac Efron.

        They would, of course, both be totally innocent and naive and he would be nearly virginal despite his profession. They’d meet in an awkward situation and immediately write each other off with distaste. But a series of coincidental encounters would lead to them becoming an item. Everything would seem fine, until she learns of his career. He will then embark on a mission to fix the lives of his 3 customers, solving their relationship problems without having sex, while making a grand gesture that wins Lea over after she hears the ringing endorsements from the women who hired him.

        This shit practically writes itself.

      • Too late, I already sold my treatment for $10,000,000.

        Wow, that was fast.

      • Sometimes he comes off as a real “Mister Know-it-All.”

      • Ahahahaha, a studio paying millions for a non-franchise, unestablished property. What do you think this is, 2006?

      • My Boyfriend is a Hooker! has built-in sequels:

        My Fiance is a Hooker!
        My Husband is a Hooker!
        Our Dad’s a Hooker!
        Our Grandpa’s a Hooker!

        See, something for every demographic and Zac Efron can age in the role. With all the drugs he’s doing, he’ll be ready to film the fourth installment by 2018.

  3. I’m just a gigolo and everywhere I go
    People know the part I’m playing
    Paid for every dance, selling each romance
    Ooh, and they’re sayin’

    There will come a day when youth will pass away
    What will they say about me?
    When the end comes, I know
    They was just the gigolos
    Life goes on without me

    I’m just a gigolo and everywhere I go
    People know the part Dave’s playing
    Paid for every dance, selling each romance
    Ooh, what they’re sayin’

    There will come a day when youth will pass away
    What will they say about me?
    When the end comes, I know
    They was just a gigolo
    Life goes on without me, ’cause

    I ain’t got nobody
    Nobody cares for me, nobody
    Nobody cares for me
    I’m so sad and lonely
    Sad and lonely, sad and lonely
    Won’t some sweet mama come and take a chance with me?
    ‘Cause I ain’t so bad

  4. If you can’t get it normally, pay for it. That’s what I’d do if I had money.

    • ManWhoHasSeenAVagina

      I get it regularly and I still pay for more on the side. Because unfamiliar pussies are awesome.

      But thousands of dollars for sex? No thanks. You have to think how much is an orgasm really worth? I put the limit around $500 and aim to get it for under $250 (which really should put anal on the menu). I don’t do it too often, it’s rare that I’ll do it more than twice in a week. That’s usually when I’m in another city and have lots of local variety to sample.

      ProTip: Decent cities have AMPs (asian massage parlors), where the house fee will be $100 or less and then the extras can be negotiated for $60-$100. The best ones give you a table shower, a decent massage, and then “full service”. Try to avoid the ones that are just a rub and tug, I can give myself a better handjob and save the $140 to put towards some fucking elsewhere.

  5. So Lea Michelle is dating a gigolo… is it because of her looks?

  6. btw male hookers don’t charge $17,500 for a week with a woman…that’s gay client prices.

    So Lea Michele’s new boyfriend is a bisexual (former?) male prostitute.

    Hey, to quote “Bus Stop”: “I like you just the way you are. I don’t care how you got that way!”

    • ManWhoHasSeenAVagina

      I am pretty skeptical that women really hire male hookers much. Other than that Mandy Stadtmiller piece on the “prostidude”, I think their clientele is pretty limited. Women can get laid, no strings attached, for free.

      If a man wants something no strings attached, it almost always requires payment. Either with cash or drugs/alcohol. Being the respectable gentleman that I am, I opt for cash and lucid consent.

      Plus there’s the time commitment, it’s nice to get right to the fucking point (which is fucking).

      • That’s why I said he advertises as a hooker for women but the real paying clients are likely older gay dudes.

        Not that there’s anything wrong with that. The right to gay male hookers is in the Constitution, right next to the right to arm bears.

      • ManWhoHasSeenAVagina

        Gay dudes avoid the sex drive impedance mismatch that us straight guys have to deal with. That’s why they all seem to be able to get action in public bathrooms (which is so seriously unsanitary) with randoms. But, I guess the unattractive ones still have to pay…

        Damn though, those prices are completely ridiculous. That’s just spending money for the sake of spending money. Like idiot rappers and their “making it rain” bullshit.

      • Maybe he’s a trophy hooker.

  7. Lea Michele Nipple Slip
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    I feel like she’s one, maybe two chromosomes away from being really hot.

    On the other hand, a possum is only two chromosomes away from being a human.

  8. Lea Michele Nipple Slip
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ooooh…put your finger in deeper…more…even deeper yet…Ahhhh…Now you’re gettin’ there…”

  9. Lea Michele Nipple Slip
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s a shame about that belly, but I think I would anyway, just for shits and giggles.

  10. Lea Michele Nipple Slip
    Commented on this photo:

    That guy is amazing. He has one arm up each ass and he’s not even wearing a seatbelt.

  11. Lea Michele Nipple Slip
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh shit! I told her not to jump out until we were off the highway.”

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