Lauren Conrad might be out of a job

October 15th, 2008 // 49 Comments

MTV’s ratings juggernaut The Hills may end after this season proving that perhaps there is a God after all. Turns out these jackasses, including the Laurens (above), are holding out for more money and fail to realize they could be easily replaced with chimps. Which would probably make the show exponentially more watchable. (Provided the chimps wear those little propeller hats.) OK! Magazine reports:

“No one gets along anymore,” an insider explains. “Whitney moved to New York, Audrina can’t stand to be in the same room as Lauren anymore and they all want more money.”

And, since it’s Wednesday, here are the PER EPISODE salaries of The Hills stars, so your head can explode:

LAUREN: $75,000
HEIDI: $65,000
SPENCER: $65,000
AUDRINA: $35,000
BRODY: $10,000

Okay, I get it: It’s MTV. But still, I seriously doubt one of these jokers could walk in and say they don’t make enough money without getting beaten to death with a stapler. I already want to run over Heidi & Spencer with my car, could you imagine if I had to pay them? I’d be pouring the goddamn Hanta virus in their coffee every morning.

Photos: WENN

  1. Sport

    what a fucking joke. The LC chick is kinda cute but void of any talent. Never seen the show only know what I read here but would love to see these no talent asshats have to go get a real job.

  2. lolwtf


  3. pedant

    or wear?
    tut tut!

  4. what is the real joke about all this is that this show was labeled a reality show. i have only been able to stomach 10 mins of one show.. and it was so painful i turned the tyra banks show on for relief.

  5. james

    before all the “wear not where” comments start (with me?)
    This *was* a Hill’s post including the words “Heidi” and “Spencer” so an aneurysm was obviously in the works. a typo should be forgivable.

  6. Vince Lombardi

    Leading representatives of the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation announced Wednesday that the month of October would officially be known as The Hills Awareness Month, and commemorated the occasion by donating $80 million of their funds to promote the early detection and ultimate eradication of the all-female (yes, that includes you, Spencer) cast.

    Seriously, if it weren’t for The Superficial, I wouldn’t even know this program or these people were in existence.

  7. Amy

    God just make it stop. I don’t watch that crap, never have, never will. I cannot wait for it to all go away. Hell even my hatred for Paris Hilton pales in comparison to my hatred for these bitches that I don’t even know anything about or WHY they are famous. And as funny as you keep it about the many ways of offing those Heidi and Spencer leeches….someone just need to make…it…STOP!!!

  8. Who the hell is that creepy-looking chick besides Lauren? She looks like she’s about to turn into a vampire.

  9. lisa

    Lo is such a bitch and NOT cute anywhere!

  10. sixpack

    who?? what??

  11. steve

    It worked with when the cast of FRIENDs pulled this off, because they actually were getting screwed.

    I don’t know how popular The Hills actually is, but I can’t imagine it is more popular than a show on one of the Major networks

    (MTV is small peanuts compared to NBC/CBS/FOX)

  12. PunkA

    Apparently, on MTV is pays to have no talent and to be a total bitch. Yeah, I’m talking to you Spencer. Because you are nothing more than a little whiny bitch. As for LC, HM and crew, to hell with them.

    Now Audrina, I’d poke all day every day. So she is good for one thing at least.

  13. therush

    What’s this nonsense about how the show MIGHT be more watchable if it featured chimps? An all-chimp show is way better than pretty much any show, because seriously it would be about chimpanzees.

  14. You can watch Heidi and Spencer get hit by a car here:

    If only my dreams came true…

  15. sameshitdifferentyear

    Chimps wearing propeller hats, living in Beverly Hills?

    Tell me the channel, I’m there.

  16. WTFBalls

    Whoever that other chick is, she looks fucking stoned

  17. mamadough

    God, my tits are freezing. why’s it so damn cold in here?

  18. cate

    godDAMN that girl is BLAAAZZZZEDDDD!
    takes one to know one.

  19. eppstacy

    I can’t wait for the show to end.I’m tired of seeing thier “untalented daddy buys me what I want look at me I’m on TV” asses when I go to the grocery store to buy my candy for my ginormous tukus.
    Thank you & goodnight.

  20. Dirty Hairy

    The only people more pathetic than the cast members are the fans

  21. Jumpin_J

    HOLY CRAP! You mean these clowns get paid over half a million dollars EACH a year for acting like douches? OMG! Bring me the forementioned chimps! You pay them cheap, though I’d pay extra for flinging feces at Heidi & Spencer.

  22. king

    They are so beautiful…
    Hi, are you a tall single or tall admirer? Do you wanna meet or chat with tall girls or tall guys? Now there are many sexy tall girls and handsome tall guys in the club [__""__]. Join this club, and find your romantic love. Don’t miss your love.

  23. Hat

    Holy shit!! I didn’t know Lo liked to toke!! I bet we’d get on famously totally fucking baked.

  24. LAUREN: $75,000
    HEIDI: $65,000
    SPENCER: $65,000
    AUDRINA: $35,000
    BRODY: $10,000

    Daaaaamn! If that isn’t the ass-reaming of the century! That is all their agents negotiated? This stupid show makes MTV hundreds of millions in ad generation every year! I guess they really are completely oblivious to have salaries that are a fraction of a fraction of what MTV is making from them. Outstanding!

  25. WTF

    That chick beside LC is freaking me the fuck out! Do her eyes always look like that or is she just seriously fucked up? I thought she was a wax figure until I saw the other pics. Creepy.

  26. Hard Lesson

    Hmm, AUDRINA, dear, you are so cheap in every aspect of your existance, you are amazing! I want you…

  27. Sar

    Seriously, what is UP with Lo’s nose? Looks like someone paid a visit to Paris’s plastics guy.

  28. codell

    LC is so hot

  29. Trucker Bob

    Audrina for “Pin Cushion of the Year.”

    Mine that is…..not Hollywood’s

  30. That’s why i love mtv, keep it fresh, keep these over paid hussies moving along..

  31. friendlyfires


    It was the worst sort of sick one could feel without getting ebola – which has to be infinitely worse. I kept praying for sweet sweet release of death. I’ll always have that night mare in my mind forever, along with the image of Britney’s shaved flabby clam.

  32. Lian

    Lo looks so freaking scary her eyes are so red ,she is stone as hell

  33. Googolygoo

    Stoned out of her fluffy blonde head, she is.

  34. B

    Geez…. How high is Lo? One would know from experience.

  35. This is what they call: EASY MONEY?
    Thirty-five grand for just being audrina “UGLY”, folks!!
    (I wonder: THIS IS AMERICA?)

  36. Pissed

    what the hell? that chick next to her looks completely stoned
    what a bunch of whores anyway
    and Lauren has so spunk, no personality, and no talent
    neither does she have any sense of humor

  37. Pissed

    what the hell? that chick next to her looks completely stoned
    what a bunch of whores anyway
    and Lauren has so spunk, no personality, and no talent
    neither does she have any sense of humor


    Holy f*ck LO looks like a hybrid between Jennifer Aniston and Barbra Streisand – a VERY STONED hydrid that is!

  39. boo

    WHY do all these sluts have wonky eyes?

  40. Why the fuck is Spencer Cabbage Patch getting paid?! He is not an actual player on the show, Lauren, Heidi, Whitney, and Audrina, are the actual people on the show. And why the fuck is getting paid more than Audrina, who is an actual person on the fucking show?! Personally, I think none of them should be paid, and they should all be shot into a black hole, but that ain’t going to happen. In the meantime, why the fuck is fugly Spencer, ugliest man in the world getting paid at all?!

  41. anon

    just FYI, the quotes for their fees are off (lauren’s higher, the other girls are lower) and you guys have really bad info. all of them are doing just fine and moving onto other projects

  42. photos from Lauren Conrad’s recent fashion show in LA – what do you think?

  43. Me

    I was wondering if anyone was gonna comment on how high LO looks! (or whatever the ef her name is)… hahah!!! that was the first think i thought of when i saw the pic – cant she afford some VISINE! haha!

  44. blondamnation

    God that Lo chick is milking her 7 minutes of undeserved fame. She came to UCSB and she was the biggest Biyyoch to anyone around her, like she was above eveyone because she was on Laguna Beach.

    I saw her at the movies one day and she had sunglasses on bigger than her head, I couldnt help it I actually said “hey you were on that show” (chk chk..pkoooo!! Shoot me in the head please for saying that..) and she looked at me like I had rabies and then turned away to her squid date she had with her. ANyon who thinks theyre that cool just for being filmed by MTV should be

  45. blondamnation

    chewed up and spit out, get over yourself .

  46. The sickness that causes reality star wannabees:

  47. Jaylyn

    Good post. Thanks a lot.

  48. cute women.
    They looks beautiful.

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