Lauren Conrad in a bikini

April 5th, 2009 // 50 Comments

Here’s The Hills star Lauren Conrad on the beach with her boyfriend Kyle Howard. And, seriously, even in a bikini top I’m still bored to tears by this girl. For science’s sake, I tried staring at Lauren to see if I could muster any attraction at all for her and, just as I started to feel something, I realized my eyes had drifted over to a ham sandwich. When did they start making these things so sexy?


  1. spaceghost


  2. spaceghost


  3. mafme

    She’s okay if you like chubby girls.

  4. Karri

    she’s pretty skinny. look at that lil belly.

  5. mafme

    I know, she has a rockin’ body. I was just trolling… I guess I just ruined it by giving that away.

  6. HornDawg

    They both look like they enjoy quick gentle sex and cuddling afterward.

  7. amanda

    she has a really tiny little waist.
    I wonder if she honestly believes she will still be “famous” once shes off the hills. Maybe shes hoping for a spinoff.

  8. shitler

    That bikini top is made to be worn by someone who has breasts.

  9. Randal

    The Hills continues to breed new and upcoming stars, as seen here with Lauren Conrad, almost as attractive as Heidi is but not quite. Her allure will certainly grow as she becomes more popular on the show as well as in the industry.

    All the best to you, Lauren.


  10. melissa

    i think she looks great

  11. amanda

    those tops look crappy on EVERYONE
    theyre guaranteed to make your boobs look saggy + small

  12. Pinky

    She looks amazing, so fit and not too skinny or fat. Her bf needs some major work

  13. beahta

    I suspect you’d like her better if she were blonde.

  14. His Huge Greatness Himself

    Where my girlie?

  15. woah, two tits and a heartbeat? I’m SO there

  16. SOS

    OMG… I know I read LC but seriously.. I was looking at this thinking it was Lindsay Lohan…

  17. bribios


    Damn my sentiments exactly. Her body is about as blah as her acting.

  18. bribios


    Damn my sentiments exactly. Her body is about as blah as her acting.

  19. Obama is a socialist pig. Oh, and a nigger


  20. jaja

    7. The Hills IS her spinoff from Laguna Beach. And I doubt she is hoping for another one since she already decided to leave The Hills…

  21. ..

    really nice body..bigger tatas than i would have expected, esp. since those tops are so unflattering…

    #13 – she is blonde. it just seems that her hair was wet in these or something. look her up.

  22. Michelle

    Did she forget her bikini bottoms? Why is she wearing shorts?

  23. trix

    #7 … a spinoff? that show IS a spinoff and the only reason this is the last season is because lauren said she’s finished. they’ve been throwing insane money at her to keep it going (mtv’s #1 rated show by FAR) but she said no.

    speidi are the ones looking for a spinoff. and audrina is currently shopping networks for her already shot, mark burnett produced reality show.

  24. specialsauce

    I’m equally bored by both of them. I wish our country didn’t have to be subjected to see the Hills cast…we have enough problems already.

  25. She’s just so kind of meh. Pretty, I guess. But so bland with it. Like a lovedroid.

  26. britney's weave

    what the fuck is with the spam? can NONE of those long posts be deleted?!

    she looks good. his swim trunks, on the other hand, are ugly as hell.

  27. Eva

    She looks like Lindsay Lohan… In fact I thought the first picture WAS her.

  28. Richard McBeef

    meh. at least her tits are close enough together that you couldn’t ditch a 757 between them.

  29. Knee Ya Ha Ha : So.
    My friend ‘Frank’ from 16th Floor come over, and, as some of you may know., ‘Frank’ watch a lot of movie – so I have on hand – a little bit of popcorn.
    Martha Stewart : A little bit of what ? Popcorn ? Fantastic Idea !! This sounds like great tip for ALL homemakers Knee. Wait a sec – I want to jot some of this down !! This could be a new book. …. …. ….. ….
    Knee Ya Ha Ha : Homemakers always have a pen near computer you moron !! ( Why this woman out of jail ?)

  30. britney's weave

    thanks, fish! i knew i loved you for a reason.

  31. Head Ho

    She looks great from the neck down. I know that there is now such a thing as a face transplant, but this woman needs a whole head transplant.






  33. Hey whats with Number 19 calling the Prez the N word? I dont like the guy, but come on, this isnt Stormfront!

  34. She looks like a cross between a little boy and lindsay lohan

  35. Brian

    No, unlike you low IQ baboon types, we like a fit woman. You like that sloppy bootlip monkey type. Come on over, ive got a banana for you. Only 2 good places for number 32, swinging from a tree or swinging from a noose.

  36. This is when they started making sandwiches sexy….

  37. Martha Stewart : So. Knee. (like #29) I was reading a bit of your last link’s comments.Then I had a piece of whole grain toast – And then I came across this comment
    “The shills are fighting a lost cause. THEY ARE LOSING THE INFORMATION WAR.
    It is interesting to see that the tactics of yesterday do not work on the enabled people of today. The internet is truly a revolutionary weapon in the information war, for both sides of the 911 argument, and with the ability for the average person to independently investigate scientific research, it becomes more and more obvious as time goes by that the masses will awaken soon enough.”

    Martha Stewart : Then of course I was wondering what they weelee twying to say here exactwee ?
    Inside job ?

  38. why a FAGGOT as boy-friend?

  39. Stuart Gottzberg

    And the irony is….*drum roll please*…for all your bitchin’ the hills ADVERTISES on your site. MWHAHAHAHA

  40. Stuart Gottzberg

    And the irony is….*drum roll please*…for all your bitchin’ the hills ADVERTISES on your site. MWHAHAHAHA

  41. Hey Stu.( 39-40) *drum roll please*
    Inside job ? Having any problems with ‘free fall collapse speed’ ?
    And Gerry – how are things over there at Vector Motors ?

  42. Strangely unattractive.

    A Scantily clad female would usually do it for me, despite the really ugly bikini top and hideously colored shorts, but she just looks like a globe of drying library paste.

  43. Rhialto


  44. Gr8 points all #42. LOL (etc) You seem like like a real intellectual ™
    But how about that super thermite ?
    Inside job ?

  45. How about you # 43 ?
    Inside job ?
    U Merican ?

  46. Alfalfa

    Annoying as heck but definitely hittable

  47. Carolyn

    Randal needs a cyanide enema.

  48. Carolyn

    Randal needs a cyanide enema.

  49. For the true fan, here’s a nice gallery of Lauren Conrad (LC), the designer / actress including almost nude photos and plenty of hot pics of her sweet bod:

  50. dee

    she doesnt look “blah” she looks normal. not all fake and plastic like most celebrities!

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