Lars von Trier: ‘Kirsten Dunst Wants to Do Porn.’ Also, Something About Nazis.

Holy shit, she can walk in daylight. Get to the church!

Because the Internet loves a good Nazi scandal almost as much as its cat photos and porn (In that order.), director Lars von Trier made a couple of nonsensical remarks about being a Nazi at Cannes today prompting the usual politically correct responses. Color me old-fashioned, but if you live in Europe, you should be allowed to make all the Hitler jokes you want just like if you live in America, you should be allowed to make all the 9/11 jokes you want because, let’s be honest, both are always hilarious. Except in this case, but only because Lars von Trier never makes a lick of sense. The Associated Press reports:

Asked about his German heritage, von Trier launched into a rambling train of thoughts, starting with how he used to think he was a Jew and his disappointment when he learned he was not.
“I really wanted to be a Jew, and then I found out that I was really a Nazi, because, you know, my family was German,” von Trier said. “Which also gave me some pleasure. …
“What can I say? I understand Hitler, but I think he did some wrong things, yes, absolutely. But I can see him sitting in his bunker in the end,” von Trier said. “He’s not what you would call a good guy, but I understand much about him, and I sympathize with him a little bit. But come on, I’m not for the Second World War, and I’m not against Jews. …
“I am very much for Jews. No, not too much, because Israel is a pain in the ass.”
Von Trier then asked, “How can I get out of this sentence?”

What’s really, and perhaps the only thing, interesting is he also said Kirsten Dunst and Charlotte Gainsbourg want to make a hardcore porn together, so way to bury the lede, entire field of journalism:

“Now she wants more. That’s how women are, and Charlotte is behind this. They want a really, really, really hardcore film this time, and I’m doing my best,” von Trier said, as Dunst and Gainsbourg chuckled uncomfortably beside him.

Kirsten would later be quoted as saying, “He likes to run his mouth. I think he dug himself in a deep hole today,” which frankly I’m surprised people were able to translate on account of her thick Nosferatu accent. Maybe it helps if she doesn’t chew on a dead rat when she’s talking. I’m not a linguist.

Photo: Pacific Coast News, Splash News