Larry Birkhead, the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby Dannielynn, “fake-posed” at the grave of Anna Nicole’s dead son Daniel. Mark Speer, a former bodyguard for Larry, gave the NY Daily News an earful on Larry’s saint-like activities:
On “fake-posing” at Daniel’s grave
“One day he said he wanted to go to Daniel’s grave, ostensibly to pay tribute to him on his birthday. But it turned out he had another idea. He said, ‘We’re going to meet two guys from Splash.’ They had arranged to wait in some bushes at the cemetery. They took pictures of Larry pretending to be sad and emotional at the grave site. Only the Splash guys weren’t quite satisfied, so they asked him to do it again, and for me to get out of the picture. We did three takes. That was the first sign to me that Larry was in it for the money.”
On negotiating custody of Dannielynn with Howard K. Stern
“It was a secret meeting, where he got to see Dannielynn. … I heard Howard tell Larry that he’d give him custody of the baby if he [would allow] Stern to remain as executor of the estate. Larry said, ‘I’ll think about it.’ At one point, the baby burped up some fluid on a blanket. Howard said, ‘I bet you’d like to have that for DNA.’?”
On, uh, wow, just keep reading
Even more shocking is a trip Speer says he took with Birkhead on a private jet belonging to a wealthy friend of Smith’s. The friend’s wife “pulled out a stack of photographs,” Speer recalls. “They were pictures of Anna and the baby … in a hospital bed with her son Daniel. Daniel appeared to be dead. [The friend] told me he was dead.”
Excuse me, I need to slather my chest in shoe polish. Someone’s got to get Dannielynn out of there. It’ll take a true hero with brass balls the size of hubcaps. I’m pretty sure I still know how to catch a bullet with my teeth. I doubt it will come to that. My plan is to throw some spare change at Larry and while he’s busy licking a quarter, I’ll grab Danniellyn then jump off the roof onto a dinosaur. We’ll make our way to Mexico. There I’ll hand her off to the first person or cactus I meet. Years later, on my deathbed, Dannielynn will come to me and say “Gracias, Senor Dinosaur-Hunter. You saved my life.” Then I’ll die and Larry Birkhead will take pictures of himself playing Parcheesi with my corpse. Whoa, surprise ending!
Anna | September 14, 2007 at 12:26 pm
FIRST! worm to eat through me…
maria | September 14, 2007 at 12:27 pm
first
maria | September 14, 2007 at 12:27 pm
anna you fucking bitch ima kill you
Britney | September 14, 2007 at 12:29 pm
Maybe Kevin can rescue Dannielynn if he’s such a fuckin hero now! Fuckers.
LadyJane | September 14, 2007 at 12:29 pm
LBLTC.
Riotboy | September 14, 2007 at 12:30 pm
That’s fucked up.
wedgeone | September 14, 2007 at 12:30 pm
He must have some acting ability if he could pose as sad at Daniel’s grave. I heard he has spontaneous ejaculations whenever he sees that tombstone.
Barry LeFarge | September 14, 2007 at 12:31 pm
That’s messed up. Why would she pose her dead son with her new baby? Typical behavior from a Texan.
my comment | September 14, 2007 at 12:32 pm
Anna Nicole treated Larry like dirt. No surprise here.
She was a bitch. Why do people miss her so much?
jenster | September 14, 2007 at 12:33 pm
yeah, that makes me a little ill…..
Shut Up | September 14, 2007 at 12:33 pm
This is riveting.
I am more shocked by this story than I was with Britney’s miserable VMA performance.
Truly unique story here.
Erling | September 14, 2007 at 12:34 pm
Mr. Author of The Superficial (or ‘the authors’), you guys are super-funny. You crack me up; no, you really do. I’m a guy, and I don’t give a rats ass about any celebrities, but I visit this site every day – just to read your witty, out-of-the-blue and half-assed remarks about these famous people. I love it. Your style, Sir, will prevail as the new form of journalism – and I applaud you. Mad props from Norway.
itspat | September 14, 2007 at 12:34 pm
Anna said “wait, we can ring the bell when the TV show’s over.”
Mick | September 14, 2007 at 12:34 pm
This guy spear sounds like he’s trying to make some money on press interviews maybe.
joflo | September 14, 2007 at 12:34 pm
didn’t some magazine recently report that larry and howard were gay lovers?
Miss UNIVERSE | September 14, 2007 at 12:38 pm
Wonder if that bodyguard expects to get any more employment with Celebs
Would YOU employ someone who blabs like that. He is supposed to be a professional – so maybe he was let go on unfavorable terms and has a grudge.
FRIST!!! | September 14, 2007 at 12:39 pm
People, don’t believe everything you read. This is all fake. Especially the posts about Britney sucking at the VMA’s. You saw it yourself, she was BRILLIANT!!!
TomCruise | September 14, 2007 at 12:42 pm
Larry and Howard were not gay lovers. It was more of a convienience kind of thing.
what am I saying? | September 14, 2007 at 12:43 pm
who really cares about these two losers??????? Birkhead and Stern can go on with their lives sucking eachother off for all I care….oooh, bad visual
Todd | September 14, 2007 at 12:43 pm
His bodyguard’s name is “Mark Speer”??? Didn’t the porno career work out? I guess Dick Pumper and Randy Shaft weren’t available.
Brittney's Cheeto-Flavored Queef | September 14, 2007 at 12:44 pm
#8… it’s because the son was the father of the baby.
Anna wanted a pic of the “family” together.
Texas Tranny | September 14, 2007 at 12:45 pm
@8
Barry LeFaggot
“Typical behavior from a Texan”
Fuck you buddy, we gave her away a long time ago.
This is what fucking Hollywood does to people’s fucking brains. Breathing all that GOD-damn fucking smog has fucked up everyone out there.
Yeah, I thought he was a fag.
Barry LeFarge | September 14, 2007 at 12:49 pm
@21- I never thought of that. It wouldn’t surprise me.
@22- You can come up with something better than LeFaggot, Tranny. I didn’t think you guys gave anything away (see “The Alamo”)
Texas Tranny | September 14, 2007 at 12:51 pm
Good point.
See “San Jacinto”
jrzmommy | September 14, 2007 at 12:52 pm
Becaaauuuuuuse…….we expected MORE from him?
Barry LeFarge | September 14, 2007 at 12:55 pm
Texas Tranny-
Nice history reference. Mexican casualites-1,213 Texan casualties- 2. Helluva win!
Amy Winehouse's unwashed pussy | September 14, 2007 at 12:57 pm
Wow. After all that time and effort put in by People and ET and the other celeb suckups to make him seem like a caring father and a decent guy, to give the ANuS story a happy ending. But the only “happy ending” was when Howard used his unique skills to jack off Daniel while he was lying there dead.
havoc | September 14, 2007 at 12:58 pm
Damn, thanks.
My life seems so normal now……..
.
Texas Tranny | September 14, 2007 at 1:00 pm
And it all happened in less than 20 minutes.
Jimbo | September 14, 2007 at 1:02 pm
What so bad about all that? It’s slightly weird, but no big deal, doesn’t say anything bad about him really. I’ve got my first wife on ice down in the basement, and most of my bowel movements over the past 2 years are in her hope chest. Doesn’t mean I didn’t love her.
Brenna | September 14, 2007 at 1:07 pm
He is so disgusting.
Lady Zombie | September 14, 2007 at 1:15 pm
Whadda douche/scumbag!
MyLifeAsAFuzzyBunny | September 14, 2007 at 1:32 pm
Snarky is great…but this makes me want to vomit. Taking pics with a corpse?
While great as a hobby…doing it for profit is just wrong!
gARY | September 14, 2007 at 1:33 pm
I read that Larry wears a vial around his neck, like Billy Bob Thornton used to, except that instead of Anna’s blood it has pus from the infected buttock abscess that killed her.
blondamnation | September 14, 2007 at 1:33 pm
Wow ‘Jimbo’,#30, that was borderline funny/psychotic-over the top. Thanks for introducing your shit to this post. It wouldn’t be a normal day if one of you guys weren’t bribging up disgusting, irellevant crap.
Why is veryone surprised that this guys’t not a saint? HE MADE A BABY WITH ANNA NICOLE SMITH!! Obviously he’s not too sharp, and he has terrible taste.
#27, get some therapy you have a sick mind…
sevenandaswitchblade | September 14, 2007 at 1:48 pm
“I’m pretty sure I still know how to catch a bullet with my teeth.”
Catches bullets with his teeth!?
Nigga please!
lambman | September 14, 2007 at 1:48 pm
whatever, I”ll pretend to be sad at a gravesite if you pay me
Agent Zero | September 14, 2007 at 1:49 pm
I can’t say as this comes as a huge shock. I think with the amount of coverage that Larry tries to sell week in and week out we should all pretty much take for granted that he’s “posing” whenever he’s not in his own home. I just wonder if once he sees that he isn’t going to collect on the half a billion dollars he may think is coming to him through Dannielynn if pictures and coverage of him will still be markettable.
pissy skank | September 14, 2007 at 1:56 pm
when will this madness end????
Faggot | September 14, 2007 at 2:01 pm
Hey Erling, you wanna suck his dick too?
akk | September 14, 2007 at 2:06 pm
that’s fucked up….
KarmicFate | September 14, 2007 at 2:06 pm
$tern and Larry are both scumbags and ya’ll are absolutely right,…somebody does need to rescue Dannielynn before they do her the same way that they did Anna and Daniel.
As for why Anna would “pose” with Daniels body for a photo op. $tern claims that she requested that the photos be taken,…we all know thats a big load of tripe.
Howie together with his trusty sidekick Kristine Erosovich kept Anna so doped up that she would have been lucky to know where she shit last.
She didn’t ask for any photos to be taken that time anymore than she did when $tern filmed her in clown makeup while he gushed on and on about how much money that footage would be worth in the future.
As for the twisted comments about Daniel being the father of Dannilynn,…look asshole that may be how it works in your OWN family however that is not the case at all throughout the rest of America,…nor was that the case with Dannilynn.
We all love Anna because she is one of our own and remains so to this day regardless of her addictions.
It’s truly pathetic when you feel the need to disparge her now that she is gone because you lack any empathy for a person that was very troubled in life before meeting a very sad and tragic end.
Sounds like you would be right at home with Howie,…Larry and all of the rest .
Rest assured that the truth is at hand and soon $tern and Co. will answer for all that they have done ,….then and only then will Daniel and Anna rest in peace and Dannilynn can live out her remaining days inthe care of people who really love her.
Daniel tried to intervene and wound up with a sudden case of dead for his efforts,…then Anna became a threat so it was time for her to go too.
It really doesn’t matter if you liked Anna or not NOBODY deserves to be done that way,…not Anna or Daniel or anyone.
May justice for Anna and her children come swiftly and without mercy. :)
Faggot | September 14, 2007 at 2:07 pm
Howard K. Stern murdered Daniel.
Then he murdered Anna.
KarmicFate | September 14, 2007 at 2:17 pm
Yeah $tern thinks he is quite the mastermind but in reality he is a trifle’n piece of shit that has never worked a day in his life .
He knows his days are numbered he just thinks that he is far smarter than anyone else is so therefore he won’t be caught but he will be.
Just wait until Daniels inquest resumes,….oh what a joyous day that will be!
Can’t wait to see them all exposed for who and what they truly are.
wedgeone | September 14, 2007 at 2:19 pm
#43 – yeah, but you left something out: first, Daniel fucked Anna.
Wicked Wendy | September 14, 2007 at 2:47 pm
I saw an interview of both of them last night on Entertainment Tonight. Howie said that Dannilynn’s b-day was very tough for him and he talked about how he dreams about Anna every night,that she comes to him and tries to convince him that she’s alive…..a guilty conscious can be a real bitch aye?! He will get what he deserves in the end one way or another. Karma is a fucking bitch!
Pretty Girl | September 14, 2007 at 3:14 pm
I should be more focused on the tragic events here but, whoever writes this stuff is hilarious…”Gracias, Senor Dinosaur-Hunter”…*LOL* You GOTTA laugh…you gotta.
Daniel | September 14, 2007 at 3:50 pm
mmmmm…mama had herself some big ol’ titties, and a great big ol’ butt!!! Pounding her was my only pleasure in life.
Brittney's Cheeto-Flavored Queef | September 14, 2007 at 4:58 pm
Do you think Anna seduced Daniel? Or do you think he came on to her first?
I’d really like some input from the other great minds on this site.
I suppose I think that she was doped up all to hell and probably had lowered inhibitions… throwing herself at him because she felt he was the only man in the world that loved her just for herself…
And Daniel, well, he just couldn’t pass up a chance to fuck those big ol’ titties.
They probably both convinced themselves, it was “just that one time” and never to do it again. How overjoyed Daniel must have been to find out he was going to be a dada.
Nikky Raney | September 14, 2007 at 5:14 pm
he’s hott.