‘Hi, I’m Lance Armstrong. Lick My Butthole?’

Comedian April Macie stopped by Howard Stern on Monday where she recounted a tale about the time she went to a hotel party “five or six years ago” with Lance Armstrong who apparently is very open about asking women he just met to eat his anus. So right about now is where you want to start wondering if it was fair to tear him down because of all that doping for surely this man is our greatest athlete. Via Examiner.com:

“I went to use the bathroom, and I went in and Lance was bent over a bathtub and she was just face deep in his asshole… I was terrified. And then he came out and said: ‘Does your friend want in on a round too?’ and I was like: ‘Of taint tickling? I’m gonna take a pass’… I think it’s hilarious that he would ask without even knowing my first name – to eat his asshole. Like: ‘Do you want in on a round too? Of asshole eating?… I got pretty for the evening. I didn’t know he was going to ask me to eat his asshole later on.”

You’re probably noticing there are pics below of Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong from when they used to date back in 2008. That’s so the next time you watch one of her movies you can think to yourself, “Hey, I bet she ate Lance Armstrong’s butthole.” I’m an enhancer of entertainment experiences. It’s my hobby.

Photos: Getty / Flynet, Splash News