Lady Gaga understands showmanship

- Jessica Simpson’s new reality show gets the green light. Because it’s been far too long since America was reminded why she’s our dumbest, breastiest treasure. [I’m Not Obsessed]

- Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal wear matching outfits. Wow, and I seriously thought Perez Hilton would be the gayest thing I wrote about all day. [Lainey Gossip]

- Paris Hilton does more damage to aquatic life than the Exxon Valdez. [The Blemish]

- Cameron Diaz just now gets one of those Hollywood Star dealies. Guess they wanted to wait for just before the hot ran out. [Just Jared]

- Lindsay Lohan spends her weekend crying outside Samantha Ronson’s house. Let’s be frank, she’s homeless, isn’t she? [Celebslam]

- Sienna Miller is back with Balthazar Getty which means he must’ve remarried already. Damn, that was fast. [PopSugar]