Lady GaGa’s Music is a ‘New Jerusalem’

April 20th, 2011 // 102 Comments

Lady Gaga and her zipper vagina (I knew it!) appear in the latest issue of NME where she reacts to critics who claim “Born This Way” is a blatant ripoff of Madonna‘s “Express Yourself.” Via ONTD and The Huffington Post:

“That’s retarded. What a completely ridiculous thing to even question me about. I will look you in your eyes and tell you that I am not dumb or moronic enough not to see that I would have stolen a melody. If you put the songs next to each other, side by side, the only similarities are the chord progression. It’s the same one that’s been in disco music for the last 50 years. Just because I’m the first fucking artist in 25 years to think of putting it on Top 40 radio, it doesn’t mean I’m a plagiarist, it means I’m fucking smart. Sorry.”

On top of being the smartest pop star in the world, Lady GaGa is also receiving direct messages from God who she says wrote the lyrics for her latest song “Judas” despite claiming just last week that the late Alexander McQueen writes her music:

(Starts crying) I feel like honestly that God sent me those lyrics and that melody. When you feel a message to give to the world and people are shooting arrows through it … there’s no way for something that pure to be wrong. (Reaches for Marilyn Monroe lighter) I need a cigarette.”

Per their marketing strategy, the song has come under fire from the Catholic League, prompting Lady GaGa’s “creative director,” a devout Christian by the way, to defend the song to The Hollywood Reporter:

“We don’t touch on things that we have no right touching upon, but the inspiration and the soul and idea that out of your oppression, your darkness, your Judas, you can come into the marvelous light. So it’s about the inspiration and to never give up… We’ve created a new Jerusalem,” Gibson offered.

Oh, good. Equate your music with the holy land where the most pivotal parts of the New Testament took place. That’ll quiet all that religious fervor. Next, you can say Lady GaGa is actually a direct descendent of Mary Magdalene and Jesus only to turn around and claim she also evolved from a Communion wafer. I’m thinking outside a Planned Parenthood seems like the perfect spot for that announcement. Maybe hire a couple of gay dancers, pull some rosary beads out of their butts, it’ll be great.

Photos: NME, Splash News

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  1. Mandy

    She did an interview on Jay Leno, where he asked her if Madonna cared that she stole the melody from Express Yourself, to which she replied “Madonna’s team and Madonna emailed me herself saying that it was okay. So if she says it was okay, then it’s okay”. But now she didn’t use Madonna’s material? Hmm.

    • Fartblossum

      I think “Born this Way” sounds a lot more like the theme song for Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

    • akewlazzmom

      Actually, I read that several days later, Madonna’s rep said that no such email had gone out that she knew of! Oops!
      I haven’t seen anything since to confirm or rebut her claim. So…..
      This chick is an absolute freak, who thinks she’s better than anyone else, and that her shit doesn’t stink!! Yeaaah. Right.

    • Doc Schweinstrudel

      where are all the men who a while ago commented on this site that they take annual trips to Italy cause Italian chicks are so super hot, why I don’t see them commenting on this post “wow, she is so pretty!” cause it’s freaking obvious that’s the ultimate Italian look she spots.

  2. Casey

    I’m starting to realize that the only way to remain a fan of this bitch is to stop paying attention to anything she says. She has said some really fucked up shit lately.

  3. gollum

    How dare this B1tch say she is original and smart when she has stolen every single thing she has done from MAdonna and Marilyn manson, I really hope she burns in hell,
    god the people that like her are morons, dumb morons, I guess I know why Hitler was so famous, a bunch of dumb people

    • rican

      I sense just a little bit of misdirected anger here.

    • Ed

      You forgot David Bowie.

    • CHoc Donut

      Here’s my unbiased opinion. She’s a fashion and publicity genius, possibly more educated and more savvy and more ruthless than even Madonna was. Gaga is original as long as she stays inside house and techno music, but the minute she drifts into melodic pop, she instantly sounds like Madonna. Part of its just that her voice is similar, but she is copping melodies, and should know better. The religious angle is a ripoff of christianity and as old as time. Frankly, its shock value is tired. She has a great team of videographers and graphic designers, but let’s just say she could be more original with the power she has now, and she’s only about a 6. She has a great ass, but her face def has some bad angles. All in all, Madonna was quite better, though a bigger pop panderer, still coming up with original material late in career (Music is GREAT), but she did too much showing of her gross old body (you DONT do that to younger people), and they ran screaming, and Gaga was there to fill the vacuum.

  4. rican

    What a dumb bitch

    • Beatnik

      What a perfectly reasonable and well thought out response to a pop star who likes to wear glitter and weird costumes. You’re right, gollum, I was afraid to admit it before, but now I’m certain that Lady Gaga plans to invade Poland any day now.

  5. Even Photoshop can’t help a face with the demure appeal of a Picasso painting.

  6. Techman

    Her PR director is named Gibson and he’s a devout Christian? Has Mel found a new gig at last?

    • somethingoriginal

      “We’ve created a new Jerusalem,” Gibson offered.

      Nope, not a blow job arson comment in sight. We’re clear.

  7. Is her album gona have a zipper on it like Sticky Fingers? Seeing as how no one else’s done that in 40 years..

    • onceler

      hehe, good one

    • Burt

      That’s the point. Just because her fans are too young to have known anything that was recorded more than 5 years ago doesn’t mean she isn’t ripping other people off. Hell, even her use of costumes is not all that original (Boy George, Elton John, Liberace, Peter Gabriel, and countless others did the same,…).

  8. Cock Dr

    How can I resist that segue?
    http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

  9. I’m pissed off about this whole thing. I listened to “Born this way” and “Express Yourself” back to back and was shocked by it. Shocked at how easily I’d been manipulated into listening to “Born this way” and “Express Yourself”.

  10. I still don’t get why anyone finds this chick interesting. It is like she is channeling Maude from The Big Lebowski….

    • I don’t think anyone does find her interesting. She’s making the classic pop music mistake of thinking that singing generic, radio tunes makes her relevant…and dressing weird makes her an icon. Eventually her act will bore everyone (that ball is already rolling), and she’ll only have her “talent” to fall back on…and I don’t see that going well.

      • Well I’m pretty sure she’s made more money in her short amount of fame than you ever will in ten lifetimes, soooooo I think she’s doing ok.

      • Jillia

        ThatBitchFromTheGym:
        Just because she makes lots of money, it still doesn’t mean she isn’t a fake, no talent hack. See also: Kim Kardashian

        I mean really, she made alot of money by ripping a bunch of other people off? Have some fucking dignity…

  11. dont get it

    i am more interested in the ” radiohead backlash” on the cover of that shit magazine.

  12. Lady Gaga Judas NME
    Ms Me
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s zipping the wrong set of lips.

  13. Lady Gaga Judas NME
    gaudi
    Commented on this photo:

    Man her shtick got old and tired quick.

  14. LEviC

    Gaga has a good producer, RedOne… he comes up with all the songs and seems to like to take old songs from other musicians and reuse them. Alejandro was an old Ace of Base song too, I don’t think theres really anything wrong with it seeing as they get permission of the original creators etc. So in essence lady gaga is just a performer, the people who are behind the scenes are the ones really responsible for her success.

    This looks to be a cracking point for her, she might be going downward after this.. I could be wrong though…

    • Jillia

      True. If she’s just a performer and was given permission that’s one thing. But this nut job acts like she’s God’s gift to music and tries to play everything off like she’s brilliantly talented and original. If you have to actually tell people you’re smart, THEN YOU’RE NOT!

  15. onceler

    she is a damn idiot. and at this point, what she’s saying is beyond mere egomania, it’s just straight up nuts. someone needs to cut off her coke-flow…

  16. I don’t understand why she gets compared to Madonna. Back in the 80s everyone wanted to bang the cones off Madonna, and here in 2011 most people want to drop a cinder block on Lady Gaga from the top of Empire State Building.

  17. Ismoss

    I am not Madonna, I am not Madonna. Wanna see my coffee table book.

  18. Lady Gaga Judas NME
    Lucifer
    Commented on this photo:

    How much you wanna bet they based the movie Teeth off of her? Chomp chomp.

  19. Shit! Zip that back up before something gets out.

  20. Lola

    Gaga can’t be copying Madonna because she has never made any songs. But she’s starting to sound Sheen-crazy, this is going to get ugly.

  21. Mark

    Wow shes so smart so maybe she should make a song too the tune off “stayin alive” since no ones done that in 35 years. Maybe she should wear her hair in an afro since no ones done that. Wow…copying people really makes her smart.

  22. j-sin

    I think the part that caught me was t he cover of that NME magazine: “Radiohead:The Backlash?” So it’s cool to hate Radiohead now?

  23. Lady Gaga Judas NME
    Commented on this photo:

    Madonna’s looking old…..wait…

  24. Oh please…..people need to stop taking ENTERTAINERS seriously! I don’t understand why anyone really care what a CELEBRITY or ACTOR or SINGER has to say about anything really. These people are here to ENTERTAIN us, not to convert, inform, persuade, enlighten….etc.

    Its just music….its just entertainment…..and her shows are entertaining….regardless of where she gets the music from.

    How many “artists” have imitated others? How many movie remakes are there? How many movies have come from books? How many musicians have taken fragments from other artists? Whenever there is a creative process…..someone has done something similar before and yea celebrities say stupid shit all the time, they’re doing what they do….entertain us

    In the words of Joker…..”why so serious?”

    ….(gets off soap box)

  25. tuttifrutti

    She reminds me of Charlie Sheen on the defensive but cries like John Boehner when it comes to her inspiration for her craft. I don’t even know what to make of the Jerusalem shit…. Ahmedinejad is that YOU?

  26. Jessics

    Wah, wah, wah. “people dont get me”, “im so misunderstood”, “my original art is misinterpreted”, “what nosejob?” Shut up you whiny bitch! Grow some thicker skin and be happy with the gazillions of fans that you have successfully duped with your lies and rip offs. Dumbass ingrate!

  27. Just to be fucking pedantic because McFeely, Techman, dude etc. and Gravy already got all the snarky/funny comments covered…

    Fish, you should know that the phrase “New Jerusalem” simply means a spiritual recreation of that most holy city, more mystic than physical. The cathedrals of France attempted to physically create a New Jerusalem with stained glass and vaulted ceilings, so that pilgrims entering them were transported to that mystical place. It’s not the same thing as Gaga saying she’s Jesus (altho that Communion Wafer bit was damn good) – more like a claim that she’s a conduit to get people to a certain spiritual state. Which is, um, sort of like what Madonna claimed she was doing dancing around in a brown slip with burning crosses in the background of “Like A Prayer” , transforming religious icons into freed black men and whatnot. That commercial spin on Material (Girl) Christianity was also labelled sacreligious and is just about as relevant today as Gaga will be 20 years from now..

  28. argleblargle

    I’m absolutely SHOCKED (not really) that someone as sensitive as her uses the word “retarded”.

    I never liked her and everything I read, especially the hoops she made Weird Al jump through just so she could tell him “No.” makes me hate her more. Thank goodness this site is the only place I ever read about her since I don’t buy magazines or watch any shows she might be on.

  29. She is so smart. smrt.
    Remember way back when she told Paris Hilton that “stars are blind” is one of the greatest albums ever? ( hold back the vomit at 1:19 here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWF3GhS_WQA&feature=player_embedded )
    Oh, but just last August she claims she doesn’t see Paris as an artist. http://perezhilton.com/2010-08-27-lady-gaga-paris-hilton-is-not-an-artist
    Golly, this girl is smart!
    Now she’s raving about Taylor Swift. http://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/47390542.html
    Man, what next Milli Vanilli? Lipsyncing could be her best stolen original tactic yet!!
    Oh, she’s so smrt…

  30. JuanSwaco

    GaGa’s music is nothing more than your basic gay club dance-pop combined with the typical pretentious, faux-profound lyrics that seem far more meaningful when you are stoned off your gourd and surrounded by a roomful of sycophants who pretend to like whatever you do. This will hardly be the first time that a popular entertainer started taking themselves way too seriously and it won’t be the last.

  31. Lady Gaga Judas NME
    Anon
    Commented on this photo:

    “The surgeon said I look convincing enough, but I would never be able to have a period like a real woman. But I proved him wrong! I proved them all wrong….”

  32. Lady Gaga Judas NME
    Mike Walker
    Commented on this photo:

    Somebody ‘shop a huge turd on the stage.

  33. Burt

    1) Anyone who plays a musical instrument knows a melody is a chord progression. So, she’s making a disingenuous argument.
    2) Disco is not 50 years old. Started in the early 70′s, peaked about 5 years later.
    3) Why didn’t she name another song besides Express Yourself that uses that melody/chord progression if it’s been used in disco for so long as she claims?

    “Just because I’m the first fucking artist in 25 years to think of putting it on Top 40 radio, it doesn’t mean I’m a plagiarist, it means I’m fucking smart. Sorry.”

    Sorry, but you can’t possibly be smart if you’re unable to make a convincing argument.

  34. Jface

    ” Maybe hire a couple of gay dancers, pull some rosary beads out of their butts, it’ll be great.” So you’re saying keep ripping off Madonna. Hey, if it ain’t broke. . .

  35. welldoneson

    The pronouncement that “she’s not full of shit”
    PROVES SHE IS FULL OF SHIT!

  36. Lady Gaga Judas NME
    ChonchArcola
    Commented on this photo:

    Yolandi Visser from Die Antwoord called and she wants her bangs back.

  37. jmc

    She sounds like she loves herself TOO much…Like she is some music Bach of our time and we are so blessed she is around. Go snort some yeah and shut up

  38. Captain Slappy

    This crazy, coke-hammering, 7-gram pounding, Chuckles Sheen goddess could have really been something. And then she got into music. The machine shall eat this bitch, and she doesn’t even see it coming. Whoever does her writing has some mean meat-hooks in the music from rare time-to-time, but goddamn…..this gal has done her own frontal lobe lobotomy straight up.

    In the golden age of recycling, she IS damned good at reworking (A)Trash (B)Shit (C)All of the above plus coke hammers.

  39. paul

    I knew it had teeth!

  40. Captain Slappy

    *UPDATE* Lady Gaga APPROVED Weird Al’s new parody of hers.
    THAT is how you know she is at her peak…Weird Al is banging her now.
    Enjoy, you little coke-hammering monsters!

    • Elliott

      If she did indeed finally said yes, she probably approved it only after she saw that Weird Al wasn’t keeping quiet about how much of a little bitch she was being about the whole thing. After it went public about how everything went down, she had nothing else to do but approve it in order to not look even more egotistical and even worse than she already does by spewing out all the other bullshit she says. Like she even gives a shit that the money from its sales will be going to a good cause. It’s all about her.

  41. Kae

    Cover her head and that cover is pretty damn hot. God Bless Photoshop!

  42. The Critical Crassness

    I bet Justin Beiber’s mother is freaking out about now.You know she thought her womb-plop was the Messiah! Too bad that they are both just Anti-Christ imitators.

  43. Woofus

    The Judas single sucks. Lyrics are stupid, and I don’t care for the music much either. Born this way got boring really fast…

  44. … and her face is a ‘New Jersey Truck Stop Toilet’.

  45. Lady Gaga Judas NME
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh how I wish that blood was hers …from someone finally dragging her behind a bus so she can understand the same sort of pain looking at and listening to her causes.

  46. the captain

    her parents wanted to amputate her face when she was young.
    ……….NOW WE KNOW WHY, folks!!!

  47. The Truth Is

    GOOD GOD. I was such a big fan for a while, until I went to one of her concerts and started paying attention to what she says. To tell you quite honestly, I’m disappointed. She was such a breath of fresh air and now she is the one causing the stench. She is worse than all the Hollywood bobbleheads combined. Including Lindsay, Sheen, Woods, Kirstie Alley, Kim K. ALL OF THEM. COMBINED. This coming from a die-hard fan.

  48. GAGA IS A WANNABE

    I’m not reading all this but has anyone commented that the song sucks? Like, really really sucks. You’re not smart for making a shit song Gaga.

    All her interviews it’s like she’s trying so hard to be an icon and sound like an odd genius artist. It’s an act. You can’t back it up. She can barely get through one of her songs on piano.

    Just cuz a couple gays fawn over and tell you things… it ain’t true.

  49. Lady Gaga Judas NME
    Wow
    Commented on this photo:

    gaga, please, stop taking cocaine….. Just because some people pay attention to you, doesn t mean you re the next fucking jesus or judas or whatever ! do you even know where jerusalem is ? you re nothing but a desperate attention seeker, fucked up skank that grew up watching madonna showing her crotch on tv and dreamed to become her clone, coz all this charade you call “art” has already been done by that older fucked up skank madonna

  50. Lady Gaga Judas NME
    dingo
    Commented on this photo:

    you guys are missing the point (look @ that ass)

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