Remember When Britney Spears and Madonna Made Out? Lady GaGa Did

For those of you lucky enough to lead healthy, productive lives full of purpose and meaning, the MTV VMAs were last night, Lady Gaga dressed like Ralph Macchio and Richard Lewis love-child the entire time and referred to herself as Jo Calderone during stand-up sets that made you want to snort the Hantavirus. Now, for some background, this GaGa person is something of a Madonna impersonator – True story: Pop music ran out of ideas a long time ago while you were exercising your mind and body along with accomplishing career goals. – so naturally she jumped at an opportunity to make out with Britney Spears while presenting her the Michael Jackson Vanguard Award. An award that doesn’t even honor achievements in pouring wine into young boys’ drinks and showing them porn because the VMAs are a goddamn joke. Anyway, Britney wanted absolutely nothing to do with this stunt, so it really says something when someone who technically can’t go to the bathroom without a court-ordered monitor can detect a farce. She doesn’t even know what that word means, so just assume the Karate Kid used to give her nightmares as a young girl. “That little man was talkin’ Chinese in mah dreams again, papa! He knows I can’t wax no cars!”

Photo: Getty