Lady GaGa is Afraid of Phones. Why Not?

August 31st, 2010 // 66 Comments

Despite writing a hit song called “Telephone” – HAM-FISTED IRONY WARNING – Lady GaGa is reportedly so afraid of cell phones she makes an assistant hold one a cancer-free distance away from her face while she presumably screams into it via a megaphone. “I said, NO BACON!” Female First reports:

“There have been various reports suggesting mobile phone use can increase your risk of developing cancer and brain tumours and even though there’s no firm evidence, it really freaked her out.
“She’s now insisting that whenever she makes a call, one of her team keys the numbers into her phone, then holds it up to her face so when she speaks it isn’t too close to her head.
“She then listens to her calls on the speakerphone.”

So Lady GaGa has been Howard Hughes the entire time. Wow. I genuinely feel retarded for not noticing that sooner. Then again, she does masturbate in public a lot which, in my book, should be classified by the government as a form of stealth. Someone had to say it.

Photos: Splash News


  1. Internet

    My Girlfriend… SAME EXACT

  2. gaga, try a tin foil hat

  3. orange

    orange you glad I didnt say banana?

  4. Woofus

    I just can’t get over how pretty she’d be if it wasn’t for her face. Or at least her nose. She’s so close to pretty but not there yet.

  5. McFeely Smackup

    She’s so afraid of cancer that she won’t even dial the thing? But she’s ok with her assistant getting the cancer instead of her?


    I used to think this chick was just acting weird to get attention for her music, but no longer. I honestly believe she is batshit crazy.

  6. Rather

    Whoa… when I first looked at that photo I could have sworn it was Madonna.

    Turn back now Gaga! It’s not too late! You don’t have to become a child stealing, soul leeching succubus with Crypt Keeper arms!

    • poohtattoo

      This comment proved something I’ve been telling ppl all along, she’s just copying other stars, albeit it’s stuff Madonna and Grace Jones did in the 80′s and 90′s, but blatant copies. It’s so annoying when ppl defend her creativity.

  7. Bob

    Yet she’ll wear a wireless microphone rig around for two hours every night while on tour.

  8. Zwolf

    The guy who writes this shitty blog is a fa-ggot right? Well, even if he doesn’t admit to sucking dick literally, he does figuratively.

    • Fellatio

      What you talkin’ ’bout Zwolf? Plus, creativity aside, couldn’t you think of a better handle than “Zwolf”? That’s funny, sort of like shit telling vomit it stinks!

    • Zwolf, or, shall I call you Perez? Witty and hilarious can indeed be translated as “shitty” by lame ass-hats. I guess it’s a good thing that we’ve got dedicated cunt whistles such as yourself to enlighten us on who sucks dick and who doesn’t…since you’d know ;)

  9. Lady GaGa
    Commented on this photo:

    this chick is just a freak of nature, shes not even hot, and her music is balls I just don’t get it

  10. Atlanta Plastic Surgery

    health tips
    ares free download
    link building service
    Atlanta Plastic Surgery

  11. wtf

    The story is a wtf moment and then I clicked through the pictures and there’s some dude with a bad mohawk and an eye patch? what the hell goes on in her concerts?

  12. Lady GaGa
    Commented on this photo:

    Fakest faker in the history of fakers. Jacked up face, average body, hyperactive sense of self-import. Pretty par for the course for this generation of starlets (ie. Lilo, Brattney, Parissss)

  13. moomin

    this sounds like a made-for-tmz story, though lady gaga probably goes to the effort of acting it out, and it involves a dumbass dance routine and frantic hand gesutres

  14. Shnuts

    Lady Gaga getting cancer is what the world needs right now.

  15. Lady GaGa
    im awesome
    Commented on this photo:

    oh. dear. god. someone. please. shoot. her/him/it.

  16. Marnie

    She wasn’t afraid of cell phones when she was on that dumbass show Boiling Points.

  17. josh

    I can’t wait for the day she will insult her fans and claim she did it for the money.


    There have been various reports suggesting mobile phone use can increase your risk of developing cancer and brain tumours and even though there’s no firm evidence

    NO FIRM EVDENCE ??? Are you kidding ? It’s a well documented scientific fact that they cause brain tumors. Do a little research and you’ll see.

    • That’d be true, except for the fact that it’s not. There is no difference in the rate of brain cancer, CNS cancer, and other cancers of the head and neck between those who use cell phones and those who don’t. A two minute visit to the American Cancer Association or National Cancer Institute website could have told you as much. Asshat.



  20. Compound9

    “Its not a Tumor!”

    We need her to have a tumor. we don’t need another Madonna and we sure as hell don’t need whatever the fuck a lady gaga is.

    I can’t wait till she finds out every fucking thing she has ever been exposed to gives her cancer. she might disappear finally

    Lady Gaga, You are a disgusting, Trite, and ugly soul, please leave public view. nothing about you should be celebrated.

  21. Lady GaGa
    Commented on this photo:

    why am i commenting so often today? day off guy…

    she’s a great pop star, and she knows exactly what she’s doing which is why she’s good in my book….
    but if you scroll UP towards the photo and stop directly above her boobs…..britney?? could it be? for a split second?

    ah fuckin round is fun :)

  22. Lady GaGa
    Dawn Weatherby
    Commented on this photo:

    Typical BS logic.
    She is terrified by an Urban legend about cell phones but would have no problem doing illegal drugs smuggled into JFK in the asshole of someone from the third world.

  23. jstuddle

    Fascinating! Because if this is true, if any of her assistants ever contract cancer they can sue her because she knew that she was exposing them to a hazard. She better be providing them with a hazmat suit.

  24. Jen

    She’s so afraid of cancer yet is fine with smoking cigarettes? Interesting.

  25. sarah

    she goes crowdsurfing with all her fans holding a cell phone to take a picture of her! oh yes she’s so afraid!!!

  26. geez this broad is indeed ten tons of stupid. i’m not saying I want anything bad to happen to her, but, if her plane were to…er…crash into, let’s say, a float that had Sarah Palin on it, which in turn caused the float to crash into the support pillar of the Fox News building (yes…Glenn Beck would be inside), which would then crumble like a biscotti tree in front of a carb-deprived Britney Spears…then…yeah…that might be okay.

  27. Glenn Beck

    retarded is as retarded does

  28. Haylan

    i find this hard to believe since almost every night at one of her shows she uses a normal cell phone on stage to call a fan during the show to talk to them live.

    if i was afraid of cell phones i probably wouldn’t be doing that….

  29. Lady GaGa
    Rick's Daddy
    Commented on this photo:


  30. Lady GaGa
    Rick's Daddy
    Commented on this photo:



  31. Freebie

    She thrives on attention. She is a disgusting looking person. I cannot even look at her without cringing. This is what womanhood is about? She looks like she should be locked up in an insane asylum. Not pretty, not talented, just bold and shameless. Some people just lap it up like stupid followers.

  32. captain america

    pssst: she has the body of a sixty year old.
    that’s why she is using “Blood”.

    but don’t let her fool ya……………….

  33. anonym

    attention whore.

    if it weren’t for the whack costumes and shit, she would be a nobody.

  34. Galtacticus

    There’re devices,as little as a chip,which can help block the electronic magnetic fields radiation.That talks a lot easier!

  35. Darth

    How about an air tube headset (blue tooth user)?

  36. anon

    I call this story B.S. She is afraid of cell phones but has not problem wearing a wireless headset and mic every night she performs?

    • BS

      B.S. indeed. I was also at one of her concerts… Her tour is sponsored by Virgin Mobile and she uses a phone – gasp – up to her head to call an audience member during her show and move them closer to the stage.

  37. Lady GaGa
    Commented on this photo:

    She actually believes that one can get cancer by using a cell phone, but has no problem with making her assistant use one. What a total bitch! If I wholeheartedly believed that something was harmful, I would try to make sure everyone around me steered clear of it. I didn’t think I could lose any more respect for her.

  38. Bored with life

    Even though she’s a dude, I’d still fuck the shit out of him/her/it.

  39. ummm

    in those pictures gaga looks like britney during her circus tour…britnes got slammed for looking like this

  40. bktdghmf

    she is stupajllllllllllllllllsdfk ha hahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

  41. bktdghmf

    is lady gaga afraid of i phone

  42. Armando

    Hey bored with life, she is not a dude you stupid fuck she is 100% all women. get it thru your thick shallow ignorant head, you better hope ill never track you down cuz ill kill you, fucking cunt.

  43. Some webmasters try to apply articles from free substance directories to make visitors to their internet site and make some money. This is mostly large for those who have only begun working as an affiliate for different companions and do not still have any support, yet need to develop small niche sites to visitants to their internet site so that they can start out making revenue.

Leave A Comment