Lady GaGa is Afraid of Phones. Why Not?

Despite writing a hit song called “Telephone” – HAM-FISTED IRONY WARNING – Lady GaGa is reportedly so afraid of cell phones she makes an assistant hold one a cancer-free distance away from her face while she presumably screams into it via a megaphone. “I said, NO BACON!” Female First reports:

“There have been various reports suggesting mobile phone use can increase your risk of developing cancer and brain tumours and even though there’s no firm evidence, it really freaked her out.
“She’s now insisting that whenever she makes a call, one of her team keys the numbers into her phone, then holds it up to her face so when she speaks it isn’t too close to her head.
“She then listens to her calls on the speakerphone.”

So Lady GaGa has been Howard Hughes the entire time. Wow. I genuinely feel retarded for not noticing that sooner. Then again, she does masturbate in public a lot which, in my book, should be classified by the government as a form of stealth. Someone had to say it.

Photos: Splash News

Tags: Lady GaGa