Despite writing a hit song called “Telephone” – HAM-FISTED IRONY WARNING – Lady GaGa is reportedly so afraid of cell phones she makes an assistant hold one a cancer-free distance away from her face while she presumably screams into it via a megaphone. “I said, NO BACON!” Female First reports:
“There have been various reports suggesting mobile phone use can increase your risk of developing cancer and brain tumours and even though there’s no firm evidence, it really freaked her out.
“She’s now insisting that whenever she makes a call, one of her team keys the numbers into her phone, then holds it up to her face so when she speaks it isn’t too close to her head.
“She then listens to her calls on the speakerphone.”
So Lady GaGa has been Howard Hughes the entire time. Wow. I genuinely feel retarded for not noticing that sooner. Then again, she does masturbate in public a lot which, in my book, should be classified by the government as a form of stealth. Someone had to say it.
Photos: Splash News
Internet | August 31, 2010 at 1:38 pm
My Girlfriend… SAME EXACT
dudeatdudedotdude | August 31, 2010 at 1:54 pm
holy shit another unfunny and wholly boring “SAME EXACT” comment
Puke | August 31, 2010 at 2:39 pm
…as well as another boring rebuttal from a moron!
dudeatdudedotdude | August 31, 2010 at 2:45 pm
you’re like that bitch up the block who wouldn’t leave me the fuck alone in second grade, cos secretly she was in love with me.
The Internet | August 31, 2010 at 3:14 pm
Nice try…wasn’t me this time. Douche.
nbsp | August 31, 2010 at 3:35 pm
I’m flattered.
Peanutty | August 31, 2010 at 5:37 pm
No love for you dudetodouch. No love at all.
dudeatdudedotdude | August 31, 2010 at 1:46 pm
gaga, try a tin foil hat
orange | August 31, 2010 at 1:51 pm
orange you glad I didnt say banana?
Woofus | August 31, 2010 at 1:52 pm
I just can’t get over how pretty she’d be if it wasn’t for her face. Or at least her nose. She’s so close to pretty but not there yet.
the 70's | August 31, 2010 at 1:54 pm
She’s a musician, she doesn’t need to be pretty.
Shallow American.
Cardinal Fang | August 31, 2010 at 2:14 pm
Ignorant foreigner
Turd Ferguson | August 31, 2010 at 2:24 pm
Great – our daily dose of wannabee Eurotrash with nothing better to do than obsess on our culture, music, websites and then say how lame it is after 8 hours.
justme | August 31, 2010 at 6:12 pm
@the 70′s that’s just a thing ugly people say
dudeatdudedotdude | August 31, 2010 at 1:55 pm
lmao–”other than the assassination, mrs lincoln, how’d you like the play”
Woofus | August 31, 2010 at 3:31 pm
I’m not American, fail troll.
the 70's | August 31, 2010 at 3:36 pm
I.G.A.F.
McFeely Smackup | August 31, 2010 at 2:02 pm
She’s so afraid of cancer that she won’t even dial the thing? But she’s ok with her assistant getting the cancer instead of her?
Nice.
I used to think this chick was just acting weird to get attention for her music, but no longer. I honestly believe she is batshit crazy.
Fellatio | August 31, 2010 at 2:19 pm
….”batshit crazy”, not only the correct term for that broad but is going to make me laugh all the day long….I thank you….batshit crazy, too funny!
Lovemypubichairthick | August 31, 2010 at 9:39 pm
But she’ll smoke and do drugs.
Rather | August 31, 2010 at 2:07 pm
Whoa… when I first looked at that photo I could have sworn it was Madonna.
Turn back now Gaga! It’s not too late! You don’t have to become a child stealing, soul leeching succubus with Crypt Keeper arms!
poohtattoo | September 2, 2010 at 1:33 pm
This comment proved something I’ve been telling ppl all along, she’s just copying other stars, albeit it’s stuff Madonna and Grace Jones did in the 80′s and 90′s, but blatant copies. It’s so annoying when ppl defend her creativity.
Poser.
Bob | August 31, 2010 at 2:07 pm
Yet she’ll wear a wireless microphone rig around for two hours every night while on tour.
Zwolf | August 31, 2010 at 2:13 pm
The guy who writes this shitty blog is a fa-ggot right? Well, even if he doesn’t admit to sucking dick literally, he does figuratively.
Fellatio | August 31, 2010 at 2:24 pm
What you talkin’ ’bout Zwolf? Plus, creativity aside, couldn’t you think of a better handle than “Zwolf”? That’s funny, sort of like shit telling vomit it stinks!
justme | August 31, 2010 at 6:18 pm
Zwolf, or, shall I call you Perez? Witty and hilarious can indeed be translated as “shitty” by lame ass-hats. I guess it’s a good thing that we’ve got dedicated cunt whistles such as yourself to enlighten us on who sucks dick and who doesn’t…since you’d know ;)
Atlanta Plastic Surgery | August 31, 2010 at 2:20 pm
great
health tips
ares free download
link building service
Atlanta Plastic Surgery
wtf | August 31, 2010 at 2:20 pm
The story is a wtf moment and then I clicked through the pictures and there’s some dude with a bad mohawk and an eye patch? what the hell goes on in her concerts?
Erin | August 31, 2010 at 4:43 pm
I love how the eye patch throws you more than men in bras or the fact that she’s covered in blood. wtf indeed.
justme | August 31, 2010 at 6:11 pm
Erin from DC?…aka…Banner Girl?…aka…future wife?…aka…I’ve been waiting at Jumbo Slice for weeks now!
moomin | August 31, 2010 at 2:40 pm
this sounds like a made-for-tmz story, though lady gaga probably goes to the effort of acting it out, and it involves a dumbass dance routine and frantic hand gesutres
Shnuts | August 31, 2010 at 2:41 pm
Lady Gaga getting cancer is what the world needs right now.
Marnie | August 31, 2010 at 3:02 pm
She wasn’t afraid of cell phones when she was on that dumbass show Boiling Points.
josh | August 31, 2010 at 3:13 pm
I can’t wait for the day she will insult her fans and claim she did it for the money.
JEFF GORDON | August 31, 2010 at 3:27 pm
There have been various reports suggesting mobile phone use can increase your risk of developing cancer and brain tumours and even though there’s no firm evidence
NO FIRM EVDENCE ??? Are you kidding ? It’s a well documented scientific fact that they cause brain tumors. Do a little research and you’ll see.
Matrim | August 31, 2010 at 4:09 pm
That’d be true, except for the fact that it’s not. There is no difference in the rate of brain cancer, CNS cancer, and other cancers of the head and neck between those who use cell phones and those who don’t. A two minute visit to the American Cancer Association or National Cancer Institute website could have told you as much. Asshat.
JEFF GORDON | August 31, 2010 at 3:28 pm
That’s EVIDENCE, Not EVDENCE.
Compound9 | August 31, 2010 at 3:30 pm
“Its not a Tumor!”
We need her to have a tumor. we don’t need another Madonna and we sure as hell don’t need whatever the fuck a lady gaga is.
I can’t wait till she finds out every fucking thing she has ever been exposed to gives her cancer. she might disappear finally
Lady Gaga, You are a disgusting, Trite, and ugly soul, please leave public view. nothing about you should be celebrated.
jstuddle | August 31, 2010 at 4:25 pm
Fascinating! Because if this is true, if any of her assistants ever contract cancer they can sue her because she knew that she was exposing them to a hazard. She better be providing them with a hazmat suit.
Jen | August 31, 2010 at 5:02 pm
She’s so afraid of cancer yet is fine with smoking cigarettes? Interesting.
sarah | August 31, 2010 at 5:03 pm
she goes crowdsurfing with all her fans holding a cell phone to take a picture of her! oh yes she’s so afraid!!!
justme | August 31, 2010 at 6:23 pm
geez this broad is indeed ten tons of stupid. i’m not saying I want anything bad to happen to her, but, if her plane were to…er…crash into, let’s say, a float that had Sarah Palin on it, which in turn caused the float to crash into the support pillar of the Fox News building (yes…Glenn Beck would be inside), which would then crumble like a biscotti tree in front of a carb-deprived Britney Spears…then…yeah…that might be okay.
Glenn Beck | August 31, 2010 at 6:25 pm
retarded is as retarded does
Haylan | August 31, 2010 at 10:12 pm
i find this hard to believe since almost every night at one of her shows she uses a normal cell phone on stage to call a fan during the show to talk to them live.
if i was afraid of cell phones i probably wouldn’t be doing that….
Freebie | August 31, 2010 at 11:05 pm
She thrives on attention. She is a disgusting looking person. I cannot even look at her without cringing. This is what womanhood is about? She looks like she should be locked up in an insane asylum. Not pretty, not talented, just bold and shameless. Some people just lap it up like stupid followers.
captain america | August 31, 2010 at 11:59 pm
pssst: she has the body of a sixty year old.
that’s why she is using “Blood”.
SO PEOPLE CONCENTRATE ON OTHER TINGS!!
but don’t let her fool ya……………….
anonym | September 1, 2010 at 12:08 am
attention whore.
if it weren’t for the whack costumes and shit, she would be a nobody.
Galtacticus | September 1, 2010 at 11:05 am
There’re devices,as little as a chip,which can help block the electronic magnetic fields radiation.That talks a lot easier!
Darth | September 1, 2010 at 11:16 am
How about an air tube headset (blue tooth user)?
anon | September 1, 2010 at 12:13 pm
I call this story B.S. She is afraid of cell phones but has not problem wearing a wireless headset and mic every night she performs?
BS | September 1, 2010 at 1:06 pm
B.S. indeed. I was also at one of her concerts… Her tour is sponsored by Virgin Mobile and she uses a phone – gasp – up to her head to call an audience member during her show and move them closer to the stage.
Bored with life | September 1, 2010 at 6:33 pm
Even though she’s a dude, I’d still fuck the shit out of him/her/it.
ummm | September 2, 2010 at 8:05 am
in those pictures gaga looks like britney during her circus tour…britnes got slammed for looking like this
bktdghmf | September 14, 2010 at 12:24 pm
she is stupajllllllllllllllllsdfk ha hahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
bktdghmf | September 14, 2010 at 12:25 pm
is lady gaga afraid of i phone
Armando | October 19, 2010 at 1:09 am
Hey bored with life, she is not a dude you stupid fuck she is 100% all women. get it thru your thick shallow ignorant head, you better hope ill never track you down cuz ill kill you, fucking cunt.
Carlos Brodsho | August 21, 2011 at 5:57 am
Some webmasters try to apply articles from free substance directories to make visitors to their internet site and make some money. This is mostly large for those who have only begun working as an affiliate for different companions and do not still have any support, yet need to develop small niche sites to visitants to their internet site so that they can start out making revenue.