Lady Gaga has reportedly been banned from the New York Yankees clubhouse after “smooth-talking” her way in Friday night and drinking herself stupid in her underwear. She also met Alex Rodriguez who somehow didn’t have sex with her which is probably the most shocking news I’ve ever heard in my life. The New York Post reports:
Gaga, drinking Jameson Irish Whiskey, was wearing a Yankees jersey half-unbuttoned, exposing her black bra, fishnet stockings and a bikini bottom.
But apparently she didn’t think that was enough to catch the players’ eyes, so she kept groping her chest over her jersey.
The show inside the clubhouse was news to Yankees brass.
Hal, who is co-chairman with brother Hank, club president Randy Levine, general manager Brian Cashman and manager Joe Girardi all had no idea she was going to show up, sources said.
In fact, when a Post reporter told Cashman about Gaga’s presence, Cashman said, “What? I didn’t know that,” and stormed off.
If Lady GaGa’s going to start showing up at ball games, she should at least have the decency to recognize one of the oldest and most cardinal rules of the game: Keep it boring as shit. To illustrate my point, if someone gave you the choice between watching golf or baseball, you should choose slipping into a coma where you have the option to piss in a catheter without getting up. I’m full of little nuggets like this.