Kylie Jenner Grabbed Her Own Boob

My intention for this post was to open Kim Kardashian’s Pregnancy Wardrobe Choices Season, like last time when she became the mustard sausage monster of nightmares. It’s definitely time for it, as evidenced below, but that was before I saw Kylie Jenner grabbing her own boob and thought to myself, “Is this an opportunity to humiliate Kim Kardashian twice in a single post?” It’s like on Chopped with a chef serves a basket ingredient two ways, although until Kris Jenner’s on it, we’ll probably never get to hear a contestant say, “I work with whore everyday in my restaurant. I know exactly what to do with this.” Which now that I’m fleshing this out seems entirely possible by giving Kris Ted Allen’s job. I’m positive she’s capable of wearing a suit with sneakers and pretending she’s sad after the obligatory parent dying of cancer story. Boom, got you three times, Kim! I fucking ranted about a cooking show before I even started mocking you. God, this post feels good.

HAHA! Look at Kim all the way below the words! You look like an Armenian Madonna having an allergic reaction to bee stings and nobody cares!!

Kim Kardashian Pregnant Belly Cleavage

Oooh, a miniskirt and a torn top, how edgy! Your kid sister’s boyfriend made a statutory rape ballad about her!!

Kim Kardashian Pregnant Belly Cleavage

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Photo: Xposure/AKM-GSI