Kylie Jenner is Pregnant… With A Publicity Baby

As of this writing, it has yet to be confirmed that Kylie Jenner is pregnant with a real baby. I’m not trying to say that it might be some sort of horned badger with good eyebrows cooking inside her 20-year-old kiln, but until we see an ultrasound, everything should be kept on the table… including the validity of this pregnancy in the first place.

TMZ broke the story of Kyle’s pregnancy on Friday. They already know that it’s a girl, though usually it takes four to five months to know about these things. Considering that she and current boyfriend Travis Scott have only been dating since April, it’s pretty clear that this is all just a last ditch effort to salvage the sinking ship that is her spinoff reality TV show, Life of Kylie. Even Madame Kris knows that she’s just pandering with this puppetry.

“She’s not confirmed anything. I think it’s kind of wild that everyone is just assuming that that’s just happening.”

“Something happens every single day. You never know what is going to break at any moment.” (from The Cut)

This opacity is exactly what she wants, and it’s exactly what makes me believe that this is all bullshit. Kris Jenner is like the Bobby Fischer of gossip chess; when she says shit like “it’s wild that everyone is just assuming…” all I can see is her winking behind that rogue swoop of hair that hangs over her face. She knows what’s happening. She knows what’s at stake. The last thing she needs is another deadbeat anchor baby trying to muck up her family’s cosmetics empire.

Then there is this photo, taken on 9/24 with one of those cameras that attach to a Game Boy, where Kylie is clearly showing some second trimester action… that or she just ate an entire buffet.

*EXCLUSIVE* Kylie Jenner sports a baggy t-shirt amidst pregnancy rumors in Las Vegas
CREDIT: BACKGRID

There is one more important development… Tyga, who is Kylie Jenner’s Blac Chyna, is already trying to claim stock in this baby business by throwing his name in the paternity hat…