BREAKING: The Hair Above Kylie Jenner’s Implants Is Blonde

In the dead of night, 51 Republican senators voted to catastrophically fuck health coverage for millions of America because it came from a black guy, so that shit’s got to go, says white voters eager to dynamite themselves if it equals more money for shit from Walmart as ass cancer they can’t afford to treat eats them alive. However, on the same day, Kylie Jenner dyed her hair blonde, so let’s stay focused on the real issues, which are hair color and the ramifications of allowing AI to alter its physical appearance to more easily move among us. This is exactly what Stephen Hawking warned us about.

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Tags: Kylie Jenner