Kurt Russell got stabbed
Kurt Russell says he thought he was going to get his first kiss in third grade, but got stabbed instead, and even has the scar to prove it. He tells Men’s Journal:
“I was in third grade, and … I noticed this really hot chick hanging out under the bridge with her friend. She was probably 13, and there was this vibe about her, you know. She says, ‘Hey, come here.’ I think I’m going to get my first kiss. She lifts my shirt, then all of a sudden reaches into her bee hive, pulls out a penknife, and drags it about 6 inches across my stomach. It starts to bleed, and they haul ass. I was, like, ‘What?’ “
It must’ve been pretty hard living back in the Stone Age. Where girls pretended they were going to kiss you, but then stabbed you in the stomach instead. Call me old fashioned, but when a girl pretends they’re going to kiss you that gives you the right to have sex with her. And if she resists, well that’s just her being feisty. Rowr!