UPDATE: Kurt Cobain’s Suicide Just Got Reopened

March 20th, 2014 // 29 Comments

After recently developing 35 mm film that was forgotten for almost 20 years in an evidence locker, Seattle police have reopened the investigation into Kurt Cobain‘s death, according to KIRO. Except let me save everybody a whole bunch of time and energy: It was Courtney Love. Courtney Love did it. Why do you think she’s been so helpful lately? “I know. If I find that missing plane, they’ll have to think I’m innocent! Courtney, you genius…”

UPDATE: According to the Seattle Times, there were no new findings and police were merely reexamining old evidence that will be released to the public on April 5 the 20th anniversary of Kurt Cobain’s death. Then again, this could all just be a cover story so Courtney Love doesn’t get spooked which would be impossible because she’s a poltergeist made of heroin and penis tears. Fear is her, and she is fear.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, WENN

superficial

  1. The dude killed himself. End of story. It’s too bad, but like his note alluded too, Nirvana would be Aerosmith right now.

  2. Balls Mcgee

    Even if they find evidence of foul play, he’s still guilty of dating and impregnating that crazy bitch. Dude signed his own death certificate.

  3. Quick! Someone ask Lena Dunham what she thinks about this!

  4. Dr Bunsen

    Bad Fish. It was reexamined NOT reopened. Different thing altogether.

    Although we should put Love in the chair, just in case.

  5. Actually, wait a sec… 20 years to develop some rolls of film that were found at a crime scene? And I thought shit moved at a snail’s pace where I work.

  6. Courtney Love Art Exhibit
    Commented on this photo:

    I see they found the executive HR manual at my work..

  7. If there’s something new, I hope the Seattle police find it, but, holy crap, are the conspiracy nuts going to have a field day with this.

  8. Lame

    This is the worst celebrity titty site ever.

  9. JC

    *CobAin
    Not to be a grammar nazis or nothing but misspellings in an article’s title might lead someone to think this wasn’t a serious news blog.

  10. Jonny Cool Jeans

    no it was just reexamined not reopened. they found nothing new.

  11. The weird part is that the drummer turned out to be the last real rock star.

  12. CyberEdZ

    You’ve no doubt seen this, Fish, but for those who haven’t…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXOu4ePnMM8

  13. dingdong

    They’ll be coming for you Courtney!

  14. Damn I'm Old

    Jesus. Cobain’s suicide happened 20 years ago. Wow.

  15. TheJoaker

    I watched that “Kurt and Courtney” thing that’s on Netflix now. If you ever want to spend 2 hours watching a bias news price that even admits it tells you nothing, but still feel responsible for wasting your time because it was you that chose to watch an unauthorized biography on Netflix called “Kurt and Courtney”… I highly recommend it

  16. richie

    i’m surprised no one’s blamed Jenny McCarthy for his death.

  17. haki may

    my bobo is sore

  18. Courtney Love Art Exhibit
    Margaret
    Commented on this photo:

    garbage

  19. Johnny Barbells

    …wait, so, all that shit the really weird girl in high school who reminded everyone of ally sheedy in ‘breakfast club’ used to draw in her notebook was actually art???

  20. Courtney Love Art Exhibit
    Mama Pinkus
    Commented on this photo:

    that is just plain disgusting

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