Kristin Cavallari Found The Xanax

July 29th, 2011 // 27 Comments

Ever since Jay Cutler of the Chicago Bears kicked her to the curb over the weekend, Kristin Cavallari has been walking around looking like someone who got dumped after already posing in a wedding dress and selling the exclusives to Life & Style. Except here she is last night looking surprisingly chipper, so either she’s about to commit suicide – They always look the happiest before they do it. I’ll check her sideboob for weapons. – or she’s gone from anger and depression right back to denial in the grieving process. “Broke up? Oh, no no no no. Jay and I are doing great. Just great. In fact, that’s him right now! *holds shoe to ear* Hi, honey, I was just talking about you! What’s that? You want to have babies? But what about my career? — You’re right, I am too pretty to have one, and it’s totally because of the coke. God, I love you, Brody Jenner. (He likes when I call him that.)”

Photo: AKM Images, Fame, Flynet, Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. Kristin Cavallari Side Boob
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Put the sunglasses back on.

  2. ChinaSuperficial

    Why the hate? She is trying to get married while she is still young and hot. Good luck to her.

  3. Vivian

    The poor girl is going through the mandatory stages of a hard break up, she’s in denial, already shopping,she still has to go through dramatic image change, clubbing like there’s no tomorrow and my favorite, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. And for those already thinking it, yes I have been dumped and I have gone throug the same pathetic stages, there I said it.

    • Carrie

      The clubbing was my favorite. Expensive, but fun. Plus—a great way to lose weight after the depressed eatingeverythinginsight stage.

  4. Venom

    Well, now she can do the typical California blonde whore move and try to marry a plastic surgeon.
    I am sure one of them will take her up on her offer.

  5. Kristin Cavallari Side Boob
    kathleen
    Commented on this photo:

    isn’t that a ring on her left hand? Actually I think there is 2……maybe they got married? The media could be wrong….just saying.

  6. TomFrank

    She went through anger and depression right back to denial? Awww…did we miss the bargaining? “Take me back, Jay. I’ll do anything you want. I got these cheeseburgers. They some double cheeseburgers. Come on…I’ll suck your dick. Come on, now.”

  7. taz

    Who fucking cares! Our country is on the brink of collapse and everyone is concerned some stupid cunt got dumped. Now I know who keeps voting in the pricks that are about to ruin this country. Stupid fucks!!!

    • cc

      I hesitate to ask because I am not sure I want to know what’s going on in your head but…why the fuck would you even show up here and post that?

    • TomFrank

      Taz is right. All entertainment—TV, movies, music, etc.—should be put on hold until our country rights itself. No one should enjoy themselves with any diversions. No one gets to gossip, or have sex, or play Xbox, or lie in the sun. Our country is on the brink of collapse, you stupid fucks!!! Everyone, give it your undivided attention or die!!!!

    • Venom

      Here is an idea. If you know everything and are so fucking great, why don’t you run for office? Eh?
      Fuckers like you are all show and no go.
      If you are better than the people in office, then run for office and prove it. If not, STFU.

    • Jose

      I agree with the dude, in fact well said. I guess people come here to get a break from all the depressing events going on in the country. We all need an escape, if youre like my dad and watch fox news all day, you wind up getting emmersed in the worlds problems and depressed. There is little substance here, that much i’ll give you But as its title suggests, the site is the polar opposite of meaningful new. Folks just need a break and this place makes me laugh now and then, plus I do enjoy pics of hot babes and the reminder that all of us are fallible, even the priviledged rich and famous. No matter how concerned you are about the country, all you can do is make the best choices and lead your life as honorably as you can. Just dont make the mistake of thinking you can change this insane fix the country is in, a problem this big is up to the politicians we elected. Lets hope they arnt all corrupted and know what theyre doing. In the meantime, take aload off from time to time and visit silly sites like this, add a lil levity to your life and stop taking it so dam serious.

  8. cc

    The car reflected in her glasses is about to hit her…yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

  9. Kristin Cavallari Side Boob
    truth.org
    Commented on this photo:

    what a back

  10. socool

    Flapjacks!

  11. the one

    I wonder: SHE GOT NEW CONTACT LENSES?

  12. Donald Trump

    She better jack up those titties if she wants to find a new man and keep him this time.

  13. Jose

    also, I’d like to know how the word Xanax applies to this story. Its in the title but makes no mention of it in the explaination. I dont get it. PS I miss hot lil-I dont give a shit what the world thinks, braless Brit. Youre still very much a MILF and fans like me miss your cavalier and sexy presence.

    • Fletch

      You must be new here.

    • ThundercatsHO-OH

      Jose – Xanax is an anti-anxiety medication that basically makes you not give a shit about anything. The implication is that she is on drugs because she looks so happy. Good luck in your quest for knowledge.

  14. Did anyone take the time to think that she’s ecstatic that she got a bit of a distance away from this brooding turd who masks himself as an NFL quarterback and realized she should have left burnt tire tracks outside of his house a long time ago?

    I’m a huge NFL fan and this guy is the biggest douche in the game. There’s hope yet that she realized he’s a turd before she walked down the aisle with him!

  15. Kristin Cavallari Side Boob
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    Sideb—wait. Does that qualify as a boob? It looks she only has half a boob. “Sidebo”?

  16. Kristin Cavallari Side Boob
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    With breasts like those, I think I’m beginning to see the cause of the break-up.

  17. if anything Kristin brought his name to the public eye,I never heard of Jay Cutler before she started to date him. Hes a scumbag, and really does seem like a mean guy, to let her take pics in her wedding dress and not give her a heads up before that, what a jerk, and to also be dating a kristin lookalike, what the hell is wrong with Jay Cutler??! if I was her I would never ever speak to him again. Kristin can do WAY better anyways!

  18. Martina

    Isn’t Sean Penn available now?

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