Kristen Stewart probably shouldn’t do interviews
While doing press for New Moon this week, Kristen Stewart played the always ridiculous “It’s so hard being a rich actress in a successful franchise” card in a roundtable with Entertainment Weekly:
Asked about the endless rumors of her supposed off-screen romance with Pattinson, for instance, Stewart got nicely fired up. “I probably would’ve answered it if people hadn’t made such a big deal about it,” she said. “But I’m not going to give the fiending an answer. I know that people are really funny about ‘Well, you chose to be an actor, why don’t you just f–ing give your whole life away?! Can I have your firstborn child?'”
Pattinson himself, who clearly loathes confrontation, tried to softly interject with philosophical statements about the need for an actor to hold onto his individuality. But Stewart cut him off. “I’ve thought about this a lot,” she said. “There’s no answer that’s not going to tip you one way or the other. Think about every hypothetical situation: ‘Okay, we are. We aren’t. I’m a lesbian.’ I’m just trying to keep something,” she said. “If people started asking me if I was dating Taylor, I’d be like ‘F– off!’
You know what’s always smart? Letting the main actress in your cash cow franchise call your target audience “the fiending.” Then again, I’m pretty sure they read this article and all they saw was “Blah blah blah ‘Robert Pattinson will dry hump me if I buy a Twilight backpack’ blah blah blah ‘Kristen Stewart is a lesbian and no longer a threat to me’ blah blah blah ‘I wish I didn’t read Breaking Dawn 400 times because now I no longer understand the English language’ blah blah blah blah.”
To prove my point, watch as I instantly quadruple the site’s traffic: I totally just heard Edward Cullen will hold your hand in gym class if you click every single picture on The Superficial – twice. OMG!
(Why didn’t I do this sooner?)