Kristen Stewart: ‘Being famous is just like rape.’

With Megan Fox being shoved into irrelevancy, we needed somebody, anybody, to start spewing shit out of their face so ridiculous it makes Gwyneth Paltrow want to whip an organic scone at a Louis Vuitton ottoman. Enter Kristen Stewart:

Talking about the paparazzi’s loathing, Kristen said, “It’s so… The photos are so.. I feel like I’m looking at someone being raped.” The rumored lover of Robert Pattinson added, “A lot of the time I can’t handle it. It’s f**ked. I never expected that this would be my life.”

Let’s conduct a little experiment here: Somebody pay me millions of dollars to have my picture taken for pretending to dry-hump an attractive vampire from the opposite sex, and I’ll let you know if its anything like forced sexual intercourse. Although based on my equally scientific hypothesis, I can safely say the answer lies somewhere between “The sparkles chafed my wiener” and “Go cry into your emo money, I thought you were a boy in Panic Room.”

Photos: Splash News