Kristen Bell wants to have lesbian sex with this

January 4th, 2010 // 47 Comments

Kristen Bell recently filmed Burlesque with Christina Aguilera and the experience left her wanting to rub her face in some Xtina funbags which I’m just now noticing might have shrunk. NOOOOOO! While I figure out a way to spear 2010 in its black heart for this, here’s what Kristen had to say in the latest issue of Health magazine:

On wanting to do Christina:
“I have never felt so much good female energy around me. I find that I can’t take my eyes off them. I’m 99 percent sure I will leave this movie a lesbian.”

On Madonna’s arms:
“I love Madonna arms. I think women who look strong are breathtaking. I [lift] buckets [for the shoulders]–the shoulder is the key to making your arm look really well-rounded…I do three sets of biceps and three sets of triceps, that’s what works for me. My boyfriend doesn’t love it [if I] get too muscular, but if I had my way, I would look like Angela Bassett.”

On not caring about appearances:
“Looks don’t matter that much to me, so I kind of give everybody a chance. When I was single, my eyes were always open. There was nobody off the list. When my gut told me to date, I followed it.”

So essentially Kristen Bell wants to be a freakishly buff machine programmed to fuck. If she starts writing a blog, can we all agree she’s copying me? I don’t see how it can be any more obvious.

Photos: Splash News, WENN

  1. Drago The Perv

    I’d piss all over her face and rape that ass !

  2. Delgo

    the thus (t9) are gone, people.

  3. Rough versus news sweety Christina Park

    That’s got to feel good huh Dax? well at least you get to foul her, who care what she say…

  4. Doc Schweinstrudel

    I say Christie wears too much makeup but still…
    Very HAWT in the last pic…

  5. Taz

    I’d bang the hell out of xtina

  6. Kelley

    Fish, are you sure you don’t need an editor ?? Any more should be two words in this context …

  7. Donnie Brassballs

    Ah to be Dax Shepard’s penis…

  8. Giorgio!

    what happened to her chest, looks like her boobs are running away from each other.

  9. Joey

    looks like a clown…NEXT

  10. Other than Lady Gaga, Xtina wears the most makeup out of anyone. Nice necklace though.

  11. Giorgio!

    So much makeup, She is good and ready for the circus, she always looks like such a dirty clown hoe. If her career ever stalls she can always go into clown porn!

  12. e-rock

    WOW, she had her implants removed!!! Not sur it was the best move, but maybe she feels better about herself?

  13. anyone else sick of that firefly song by that owl fuck?

  14. JiggaJay

    @2 hear hear!

  15. jumpin_j

    Fun bag FAIL. Tragic, really.

  16. aristotle

    I wonder if she’d let me give her a rimjob?

  17. Fribble

    Hey Zeus!! She is smokin!

  18. Fribble

    Hey Zeus!! She is smokin!

  19. Kangaroo

    No more milk duds. I bet those things are floppy as hell. She has awful legs.

  20. Sport

    Needs more makeup. And a new applicator brush.

  21. The only reason Kristen Bell would consider sleeping with that is cuz Xtina is a dick-tucking tranny.

  22. Larry0120

    me tooo

  23. me again

    too much shit on the eyes………….

  24. nasty

    she is skinny in a ghetto wigger way – not an elegant way – like a homeless girl who might be hungry – not trying to model or look cute. her legs look like poor people legs…

  25. her hair cut is funny

    looks like a rat faced clown/witch in pic 2. She reeks of insecurity – she found a hideous husband to make her look less hideous, and she never fails to leave the house in less than 3 quarts of paint including body paint. is she still talking about blow jobs and how she will do anything in bed? most ugly girls will do anything in bed.

  26. Krys

    Xtina’s always been a skanky mess.
    I remember seeing her looking remotely attractive once, about 10 years ago.
    It doesn’t matter how much makeup she wears or doesn’t wear, whether she’s in a turtleneck or chaps, has bleached her hair until it breaks off, or dyes it that tacky black…she always looks dirty. She just has that “trailor park look” about her.

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  28. Whats wrong with her? I wonder these are the side effects of name an fame and money.

  29. cc

    I am curious to know what she looks like under all that make up. I can’t think of a single celebrity that wears more. That includes Ronald McDonald.

  30. timmy the dying boy

    Intelligence has never been Kristin Bell’s strong suit.

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  33. Jon

    One of the few celebs that I’d hit without a moments hesitation. Heck, I’d eat out Amy Whinehouse, Britney Spears or Paris Hilton just to get to that. Actually, nah scratch Britney off that list, I do have some dignity.

  34. Jon

    One of the few celebs that I’d hit without a moments hesitation. Heck, I’d eat out Amy Whinehouse, Britney Spears or Paris Hilton just to get to that. Actually, nah scratch Britney off that list, I do have some dignity.

  35. blah


  36. whatever

    37 and 38 – is a female aguilera fan – bringing up britney spears outted you. you are no man and your idol is a bow legged rat faced runt who is almost as ugly as amy winehouse – and a whole hell of a lot uglier than britney spears.

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  38. bell

    Is it just me or did she get her implants taken out?

  39. I love Christina, I hope her new album is good. I dono how much I love that haircut though.

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