Kristen Bell wants to have lesbian sex with this

Kristen Bell recently filmed Burlesque with Christina Aguilera and the experience left her wanting to rub her face in some Xtina funbags which I’m just now noticing might have shrunk. NOOOOOO! While I figure out a way to spear 2010 in its black heart for this, here’s what Kristen had to say in the latest issue of Health magazine:

On wanting to do Christina:
“I have never felt so much good female energy around me. I find that I can’t take my eyes off them. I’m 99 percent sure I will leave this movie a lesbian.”

On Madonna’s arms:
“I love Madonna arms. I think women who look strong are breathtaking. I [lift] buckets [for the shoulders]–the shoulder is the key to making your arm look really well-rounded…I do three sets of biceps and three sets of triceps, that’s what works for me. My boyfriend doesn’t love it [if I] get too muscular, but if I had my way, I would look like Angela Bassett.”

On not caring about appearances:
“Looks don’t matter that much to me, so I kind of give everybody a chance. When I was single, my eyes were always open. There was nobody off the list. When my gut told me to date, I followed it.”

So essentially Kristen Bell wants to be a freakishly buff machine programmed to fuck. If she starts writing a blog, can we all agree she’s copying me? I don’t see how it can be any more obvious.

Photos: Splash News, WENN