Kristen Bell calls Brad Pitt a giant pansy (Okay, maybe not in those words…)

The Superficial / May 28, 2008

Kristen Bell loves her some hockey. And on top of that she loves her some hockey players. The hell she’s doing with Dax Sheppard is beyond me. She chatted with NHL.com yesterday and declared her preference for a high-sticker over low-sticker Brad Pitt*:

NHL.com: If you could meet any hockey player, who would you meet and why?
KB: Chris Osgood was my first crush. Brad Pitt be damned, he had nothing on Osgood’s rookie skill and sad eyes. There was actually a day in high school when I wrote on a name tag ‘Mrs. Osgood’ and wore it the whole day. I really thought we were perfect for each other. I’d love to meet him and probably apologize that things never worked out.

Then Kristen made the interview even spicier by talking about herself in a Catholic schoolgirl outfit. [insert sizzling sound here]:

NHL.com: What is your favorite hockey memory?
KB: My parents submitted a picture of me, in my catholic school uniform, with my arms around the Stanley Cup. It ended up on the ticket for Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Semifinals.

Dear Kristen Bell,

I played a lot of Ice Hockey on the NES back in the day – and did I mention Blades of Steel? I’ll be waiting patiently while you strip out of your clothes and lustfully ice skate into my arms.

Yours truly,
The Superficial Writer

*Oh yeah, I went there.