Kristen Bell calls Brad Pitt a giant pansy (Okay, maybe not in those words…)

May 28th, 2008 // 40 Comments

Kristen Bell loves her some hockey. And on top of that she loves her some hockey players. The hell she’s doing with Dax Sheppard is beyond me. She chatted with NHL.com yesterday and declared her preference for a high-sticker over low-sticker Brad Pitt*:

NHL.com: If you could meet any hockey player, who would you meet and why?
KB: Chris Osgood was my first crush. Brad Pitt be damned, he had nothing on Osgood’s rookie skill and sad eyes. There was actually a day in high school when I wrote on a name tag ‘Mrs. Osgood’ and wore it the whole day. I really thought we were perfect for each other. I’d love to meet him and probably apologize that things never worked out.

Then Kristen made the interview even spicier by talking about herself in a Catholic schoolgirl outfit. [insert sizzling sound here]:

NHL.com: What is your favorite hockey memory?
KB: My parents submitted a picture of me, in my catholic school uniform, with my arms around the Stanley Cup. It ended up on the ticket for Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Semifinals.

Dear Kristen Bell,

I played a lot of Ice Hockey on the NES back in the day – and did I mention Blades of Steel? I’ll be waiting patiently while you strip out of your clothes and lustfully ice skate into my arms.

Yours truly,
The Superficial Writer

*Oh yeah, I went there.

superficial

  1. eric

    1st

    boo ya!

  2. deacon jones is an idiot

    lame.

  3. She should have worn thong.

  4. She can skate into my arms any day of the week…

    To do her, we don’t have to like hockey, right? What if we just dislike Brad Pitt. That should count for something.

  5. Robyn

    You played Blades of Steel.

    My respect for you has gone up 9000 points. Fuck ya

  6. Kristen, do you want to date? Send me that picture of you in that plaid skirt.. Here’s mine.
    http://vault.sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/cover/featured/8172/index.htm

  7. Jumpin_J

    We want those catholic school girl photos!

    “There’s nothing like a Catholic Girl

    With her hand in the box

    When she’s on her knees”

    — Frank Zappa

  8. It's me Fuckers

    mmmmmmm… Brad Pitt…. *slurp* anyone who doesn’t think he’s fucking hot has to be INSANE! I married the Newfoundland version of Brad Pitt. *slurp* ;)

  9. Blades of Jen

    BLADES OF FUCKING STEEL!

    You have just inspired me to leave work early and play some pixelated hockey.

  10. havoc

    Hockey is for fags who don’t shave……

    .

  11. Shecky Vegas

    If I saw that little Catholic school chick hugging the Stanley Cup, I’d get a penalty for icing. Booya!!

  12. My Penis

    Only if I can punch her in the eye, sit in her penalty box, and watch her pull the hat trick. I got the “Great One” just now…time to ice the puck, zzz…zzzzuh..zmmmmmnn.zz.zzz..ZAMBONI!

  13. Ted Mosby

    She’s hot and spicy. Like a beef pattie.

  14. Skip Smith

    What, no political comments?

  15. me again

    political comment.

  16. coffeebean

    Vote like a dumbass, vote for the colored boy.

  17. I don’t get it. What the hell does Kristen Bell have to do with Brad Pitt? Eh, who cares. What is Britney doing??? Eh, who cares…where is Lindsay??

    Somebody entertain me soon or I’m going back to work and is a promise not a threat

  18. Auntie Kryst

    @16 Coffeebean, time to fess up to us.. Which member of the McLaughlin Group are you?

  19. debagger

    Blades of Steel: Excellent Reference. Loved it… still play in my stained briefs to this very day.

  20. Trover

    I put the bisket in her basket just after I got my puck in her crease. She went for the glove save, but was not fast enough, so I lit the red light. After that, she pretty much gave me an open net the rest of the night. And did I ever score. I poked that net as hard and deep as the twine allowed.

  21. Trover

    DId I mention that I popped her Don “Cherry”???

  22. Jess

    blades of steel rocked!!!

  23. syd

    Fuck her and fuck that Jetsons Elroy looking Olympic diver.
    GO PENS!

  24. Sport

    Blades of Steel! Love it.

  25. i love this picture because she is looking back over her shoulder as if brad pitt is jogging up behind her, about to get his ass kicked.

  26. HockeyPlayer

    @10 havoc, don’t be mad that hockey players get our picks of broads before the rest of you. Its too bad you didn’t ever reap the benefits of “puck bunny” tail.

  27. havoc

    Oh hey, there’s one now.

    Hockey Player= Gay Bear with Ball Gag.com

    .

  28. HockeyPlayer

    You’d like that wouldn’t you?

  29. twzzlrgirl

    Am I the only person on this planet that things Kristen Bell is hideous??? It looks like her eyes are crossing in every picture.

    I just saw “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” and it drove me nuts that these guys were all after her, when Mila Kunis is so much hotter. (And no, I’m not a lesbian. I just play one on tv.)

  30. Skip Smith

    @18, he’s the guy that sweeps the floor after the show.

  31. Barkingrex

    BLADES OF STEEL!!! Yes, once again you kick Tyler Durden’s ass with your awesome blog. Did anyone else play Blades of Steel just to fight, or once you got control of the goalie, all you had to do was touch opposing players and they went down. God, I miss that game. It was the first of it’s kind, that’s for sure.

  32. Barkingrex

    BLADES OF STEEL!!! Yes, once again you kick Tyler Durden’s ass with your awesome blog. Did anyone else play Blades of Steel just to fight, or once you got control of the goalie, all you had to do was touch opposing players and they went down. God, I miss that game. It was the first of it’s kind, that’s for sure.

  33. tc

    You know what’s wrong with her ass ?

    I’m not hanging out of it, that’s what.

  34. Judy

    She is so beautiful. I love her. I saw her profile on “S e e k i n g R i c h . c o m ”
    last week. Is she single now? Just curious.

  35. Bacon Uber Allles

    As a canadian I can only say holy fuck marry me you gorgeous little puck bunny you.

    p.s. Osgood sucks. Pens in 7

  36. Me One

    Someone please tell me the truth!!! Am I the only one who love this girl butt?????

  37. Chupacabra

    You know… that damn Chris Osgood AINT that hot…
    She’s a dumbass.

  38. Chupacabra

    @#36 Me One, you are not the only one who loves that girl’s butt – we just haven’t had any JESSICA BIEL butt lately..

    WTF, Superfish? WTF…..

  39. I know it’s hard to focus on anything besides her butt, but did anyone see Forgetting Sarah Marshall? Funny movie and Ms. Bell’s hair extensions looked great :-)

    http://www.jordanalorraine.com/

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