Kristen Stewart’s Mom: ‘She’s Dating Alicia Cargile’

UPDATE: Kristen Stewart’s mom obviously got a nice phone call.

Kristen Stewart was once caught getting her vagina licked in a car by a then-married Rupert Sanders while she was still “dating” Robert Pattinson. I don’t know what any of that has to do with her mom oddly outing her publicity-shy daughter’s lesbian relationship with Alicia Cargile, but it seemed like the right thing to say at the time. The Sunday Mirror reports:

Jules [Stewart], 55, told the Sunday Mirror she has met Alicia and that the couple are very happy together.
She added: “What’s not to be accepting about her now having a girlfriend? She’s happy.
“She’s my daughter, I’m just her mom so she knows I would accept her choices.
“I’ve met Kristen’s new girlfriend, I like her. What’s not to accept? She’s a lovely girl.”

Alicia Cargile was, or possibly still is, Kristen’s personal assistant, so clearly this proves that this type of relationship dynamic works perfectly fine and maybe a certain photo person who I’m standing behind tapping my foot while he read this should stop being such a bitch about it. Oh, you’re calling HR? YOU’RE HR! *runs out the door crying*

I mean, which one has the sparkly vagina? Ha! Get it? Because Twilight? Okay, how about a joke about Lilith Fair? — I’m old and nobody remembers what that is? Goddammit.

Photos: AKM-GSI