Kris Jenner Has Kendall Tweeting Bikini Pics Now

March 27th, 2012 // 67 Comments

Despite the fact Kris Jenner has cornered the elderly lube market and has spinoff shows for each of her elderly whore-daughters, including the bastard one, it’s always important to have an ace in the hole. So here’s 16-year-old Kendall tweeting a picture of herself in a bikini creating a desire for you to have sex with her underage body so you’ll hopefully watch her spinoff in two years when the other three are cast into a volcano because they’re old and no one wants them now. For such is the Kardashian Whore Circle of life, may its showers of gold be plenty.

[Ed. Note: Consider this my apology to Alicia Silverstone for making it seem like feeding her kid like a goddamn bird is weird when clearly there are way worse things she can do to him. And by way worse things I of course mean treat him like a sex doll. A real, live tweeting sex doll. Named Kendall. – SW]

Photos: Getty, Splash News, WENN


  1. Rico Jones

    Egotastic has a photo of Kendall looking like someone blew a load in her face. She is practicing for her sex tape.

    • Randal

      Even I cannot resist having my eyes slowly explore her curves, those dark brown eyes, sparkling smile and cute little pig-tails.

      A true young lady has begun to shine in the sky of otherwise less than sparkling twinkles.

      Starlight, star bright,
      Randal wants you tonight.


  2. Jack Ketch

    No one wants them now ? No one EVER wanted this family of kunts. By the way, Fish, its in a possessive form has no apostropohe. It’s means “it is.” :)

  3. Cardinal Fang

    16 is the new 22. So she’s legal in my book.

  4. dontkillthemessenger

    Are people actually complaining about this? It’s a picture of her in a bikini… it isn’t a twat close-up.

    Nothing is worse than feeding a human child regurgitated food. Except for everything done by a Lohan. Or if your parent are named Whitney and Bobby.

  5. Dick Hell

    But does Kris chew her food?

  6. Austin (Danger) Powers

    Full Circle: Makes me wonder about another famous Vintage name from behind us: Remember how your dad used Kendall Oil, and Lubricants back then?

  7. Kendall Jenner Bikini Twitter Hunger Games Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    The girl in the blue is looking at the Kardashian child like she’s a McD’s quarter pounder… Jesus, America…

  8. EricLr

    Don’t feel guilty if you’re attracted to her. Your boner will disappear the second she talks.

  9. El Jefe

    I wish I could legally say how hot she looks and the photo Rico mentioned is just wrong. Kris Jenner is going to go to hell.

    • Anon

      When will people learn that it’s not illegal to say an under-18 girl in a bikini is hot? You can say anyone is hot and it is legal, even if in some cases it may be in bad taste. You only get in trouble when you start trying to sleep with the hotness. I’m a 20 year old girl and I think that she has a hot body. Am I a pedophile now?

      • I totally agree with you, Anon. This girl is a stunner and the only illegality involved in having sex with her is by decree, not because it is heinous in and of itself. Women look good in their teens by design. People used to mate and marry at 13 or 14 years old.

        Hell the first girl I slept with (back in the 60′s) was 16. And so was the second one. And the third. And the fourth…no, wait. She was 17.

      • Anon

        Glad to see we agree! Even though it appears as if you are about my parents’ age. Common sense and appreciation for beauty know no generation boundary.

      • Or as Johnny Depp says in the Love at First Bite remake Dark Shadows: “Fifteen and no husband? You must put those birthing hips to good use at once!”

      • (There was supposed to be strikethrough in “the Love at First Bite remake.” I keep trying to do that. I keep failing.)

      • Eh, it worked anyway.

      • CranAppleSnapple

        I’ve been watching the freaky old black and white soap opera, and I was really hoping they would make this movie a horror! I’m bummed out and I will no longer see it, and pout all the while, while I’m not seeing it.

      • BE

        I don’t think saying she’s hot is the issue – more the sickening sense that we are participating in yet another Kardashian three ring circus.

        No one has suggested a Birka for the girl, after all.

        So obviously posed right down the cleavage. Bent over a chair with pigtails. But still, It’s not the picture as much as the blatant exploitation of a teenage girl by her family. After all, your mom and dad are supposed to protect you from things that will harm you and/or your reputation. Not pander you. And as a supposedly “professional” publicist, KJ has done nothing BUT pander.

        As for securing a child’s future, it takes a lot more than a fat wallet to produce a happy, well adjusted individual. You know something is truly wrong when KK publicly complains about KJ’s obvious lack of boundaries.

  10. cc

    If she was older, she’d be leaking nudes. You know it.

  11. Kendall Jenner Bikini Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    She was offered to the Gods of Lust some time ago…

  12. Kendall Jenner Bikini Twitter Hunger Games Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    And not a single bitch there looks underfed.

  13. Jerry Falwell

    I like Kylie better.

  14. Dude of Dudes

    She’s not a Kardashian until a basketball team pees on her.

  15. Kendall Jenner Bikini Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is this a photo of a photo?

  16. electricgrl

    The whore doesn’t fall far from the lubed up whore tree.

  17. west

    16 year old tits and ass. How wholesome!

  18. The Royal Penis

    She looks like she’d be worth the jail time.

    I pull an “R. Kelly” on her.

  19. I’m shocked and appalled that The Anti-Christ hasn’t married this chick off to a 75-year old so she can get that reality show.

  20. Kendall Jenner Bikini Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Her mom has an alarm set for when Kendall turns 18. Thats when Kris will make Kendall fuck a black guy. Kris is a terrible mother wo forces her children to do anything she says just to make even more money.
    Kris can’t wait to pimp Kendall out in order to get another TV show.

  21. vekfan

    This is one sex tape I’m looking forward too!

  22. DoucheMcGee

    2 more years… 2 more years…

  23. anonym

    kris jenner’s genes are strong.
    all i see is kris’ face

    • CranAppleSnapple

      Interestingly though, Kris is the result of plastic surgery. Makes Kendall a bit of a puzzle.

  24. Kendall Jenner Bikini Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Coming soon

  25. BE

    Apparently, Kendall modeling career is stalling. Never mind that she started late. That, looking a LOT like KJ, she’s simply not pretty enough and doesn’t have the large butt for women/homemade porn draw that KK exploited. Time to get some press!

    And, as usual, KJ stops at nothing to keep the Kardashian name in print.

    1. Daughter’s homemade porn
    2. Grisly murderer/family friend
    3. Faux Wedding
    4. Adultery
    5. Fake flour bombing
    6. Childbearing – horrid nude picture of KJ pregnant
    7. Inappropriate pictures of her youngest girl.

    Again, seems logical to KJ, I guess. Especially since the hard practiced flour bomb (no flour on the face) didn’t have the impact they’d hoped.

    Mother of the year, huh?

    Momager = MADAM

    Don’t worry guy’s – Kendall’s sex tape will be “leaked” soon enough. BUT, it’ll cost you , because KJ will make sure they make MORE $$$$ on this one, since now they’re “famous.”

    No doubt, the MADAM is shopping it already and interviewing potential men to do her youngest on tape.

  26. smoke

    Kris Jenner is an evil cunt, so we all know the intent of these photos and how sick and wrong they are in that context. What makes it more disturbing is this girl’s young age. Her age is the only reason some D lister isn’t doing unspeakable things to her at the direction of her greedy mother. If Kris Jenner wasn’t carrying Bruce’s manhood around in her purse, he might have been able to stop her from ruthlessly exploiting his daughters like this. I feel for these kids, because it is just going to get worse.

    • BE

      Good point. Where the heck IS Bruce Jenner in all this? Kendall is supposed to be HIS daughter after all. I’ll grant you that 16 year olds act like 30 year olds now – so that makes Kendall what? 40 in the KKlan.

      So much for Bruce Jenner being an American hero and a role model. Letting his vampire wife pimp his (and her) offspring in such a crude an obvious manner.

      I’m with smoke. Gonna get worse before it gets better. Especially at the accelerated rate KJ is tossing these publicity grabbers now.

      Yech to them all.

  27. Well played, Jenner. Well played…

  28. vekfan

    QUESTION guys! What’s the age of consent in the ol’ US of A, everyone’s talking about illegality and stuff but here 16 is legal.

    • It differs from state to state. According to Wikipedia, the age of consent is 16 in thirty states (plus the District of Columbia), 17 in nine states, and 18 in eleven states. However, the Kardashian-Jenners make their home in California—and that is one of the states which sets the age of consent at 18.

      Also, there are certain circumstances where federal law may come into play (use of the mails; interstate telephone and Internet), and that generally requires all parties involved to be over 18. And finally keep in mind that the age-of-consent laws are largely separate from the laws regarding legally marriageable ages, which is why California does allow a 16-year-old Courtney Stodden to get married to (and consummate her marriage with) an adult man, although she needed parental consent to do so.

      Got all that?

  29. Scott

    16 is legal in a lot of states, including the one I live in. Tell her I’ll meet her at the Atlanta airport, and then take her to the Ritz-Carlton downtown for a nice shag.

    • Be careful you don’t run afoul of the Mann Act. It’s only supposed to apply to interstate transport for the purpose of prostitution, but we are talking about a daughter of Kris Jenner’s, after all.

    • The Blue Pill

      You’d have to talk to her pimp first. And Kris Jenner doesn’t give anything cheap. Although is willing to sell anything for the right price.

    • Randal

      Thank-you so much for this link. These pictures will keep me busy for a few days and it’s just not one cutie, it’s an additional three of her friends as well.


  30. Little Jimmy

    So when is she going to ‘leak’ a golden-shower sex tape?

  31. She has to have sex with atleast one black guy before she is accepted by her family. Its 50/50 that shes already done so and it may have been one of Lamar’s responsibilities as the age of consent is 12 in the inner city.

  32. Kendall Jenner Bikini Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    isn’t she pitt’s asisstant.?

  33. Kendall Jenner Bikini Twitter Hunger Games Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s all just so f-ing sad

  34. The Blue Pill

    Funny, she doesn’t look like a Kardashian. The butt print doesn’t match. Another family mystery?!

  35. Kendall Jenner Bikini Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Sad isn’t having three other girls enough to whore out!!!

  36. JJ

    She’s the jailbait version of Allie Crandell from The City

  37. Kendall Jenner Bikini Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    shes really gorgeous but girl your 16! you have MANY years to do this, either way i wish i had your body,lol

  38. Buddy the Elf

    Cant stand this entire family of whores.
    That said, if she is legal, this girl actually looks like she will be pretty with Photoshop and butt fillers.

  39. putin


    your american taste…or how you say ‘flavor’ looks most tart. i enjoy little girls free of vodka smell and bruise. madame jenner i offer 2 million rubles for visit by your kendall to our dacha here in volgograd. you also come enjoy our comfort much like yankee pleasure. i most respectfully offer travel for your family. we have opportunities for all but wookiee. many old comrades from former soviet union olympic team even offer euros for time alone with bruce. time on russian video box for show “kris loves kris” set at your asking. can send option of prepayment for wide backside daughter – dispatch of ivan for wide ones escort to Swiss clinic needed for screen on how you say….киска

    igor putin
    p.s. wookie spawn not welcome

  40. daina

    i think kris jenner is jus securing her daughters future,thats all. i think the jenner sisters r pretty than the kardashian sisters n 1day u’ll prob c a jenner/kardashian fued brewin bout who’s hotter n my pic is the jenner sisters.

  41. daina

    i’m a dancer/stripper n no that if u hav the looks n body then y not cash n on it,u no. i luv entertainin its my drug u might say n it pays very well so go grls use it or lose it.

    • Cornbread

      It’s so hard to believe you would have given up the opportunity to teach 7th grade English, given your proficiency in grammar, spelling and punctuation. But I suppose a career in “entertainin” is much more profitable.

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