Why Is Kris Jenner In A Bikini? God Is Dead

By: The Superficial / September 16, 2013

With her talk show dead on the table, Kris Jenner needed to find some way to whore herself because the first rule of whoremastering is “Whore everything there is to be whored and even that which cannot be whored for only then in the hour of whoring may the art of whore be achieved.” So here she is in a bikini on Instagram because she’s just as pretty as Kim. “If not more because do you know how often that girl shaves? We bought stock in Gillette when she was 14. Let that sink in.” *unhinges jaw, swallows Mason* “Mmm, delicious youth…”

 

Kris Jenner Bikini Instagram

It’d be a valid question to ask why the hell I published this. Except an even more valid question would be why would you even look down here after knowing full well what was waiting for you? Do you fire loaded guns into your face just to see what’ll happen? Because that honestly would’ve been a better idea than this. In fact, there’s still time. We’ll go together.

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Photo: Instagram