It’s no secret Kris Humphries is a gullible idiot, so it only makes sense that he’d follow a spectacularly fake and scripted marriage to Kim Kardashian (That I genuinely believe he thought was real because did I mention idiot?) with knocking up a gold-digger who’s first reaction to finding out she’s pregnant was to immediately sell the news to TMZ without even bothering to tell him even though they’re supposedly back together. She’s gonna make a great mom:
Sources directly connected with Myla tell us Myla confirmed Monday that she’s 3 months pregnant and says Kris is definitely the father.
This could be used in Kris’ divorce with Kim Kardashian, because Kris has claimed he was devastated by the break-up and suffered emotionally. This development further cements the fact that Kris moved on quickly.
Keep in mind, Myla Sinanaj is the same chick who told/sold TMZ that Kris Jenner directed Kim Kardashian’s sex tape right down to the money shot, so right off the bat we know she’s a truth-teller, so I don’t even need to see a DNA test. On that note, these bikini pics are from just a few weeks ago, and apparently Kris Humphries’ semen is the black goo from Prometheus because there’s no way I’m not looking at a water birth even though I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to squeeze the kid directly into the undertow. Sure, the umblicial cord’s there, but let’s say a shark swims up and goes, “What’s up, bloody rope? CHOMP.” You’re on the goddamn news.
UPDATE: Reader Tom Danko has already dubbed the kid “Franken-Baby,” so don’t even bother calling it anything else. You just witnessed perfection.
Photos: Splash News
This sucks because once again Kartrashian will get away with being a greedy selfish fame whore. I was genuinely hoping that he would be able to expose her bullshit.
Kim was going to get it all anyway. Herpa-Derp Humphries is so stupid he’s got to scratch and sniff to tell his dick from his asshole.
Kim?? We told you not to post on here anymore!
Does Kris Humphries have a thing for thick pigs?
He rebounded with a manatee.
Triple moooooooo
Yet his previous “thick pig” was recently voted hottest woman alive while you couldn’t bang a 4 if your offered to pay for it.:) Nice try dummy.
Nice try, KK. She IS a fat pig, and if she thought she’d get paid on it and/or get attention, she’d blow any dude & take it up the ass…
Funny how that “fat pig” was chosen Hottest Woman Alive while your dumb ass couldn’t even get one of those hungry crackheads you jerk off to:) You wanna see fat pigs? check out the middle-aged soccer moms walking around your town. If you can’t tell the difference between curves and fat you’re fucking retarded. Or most likely just gay.
Haha this is totally Tony using multiple accounts. Who the hells gets 19 thubs down LOL and no one else but tony calls thin women crackheads
*thumbs
His trolling has gotten even more pathetic lately, I feel sorry for him actually. Can you imagine how much time it must take up to troll at this level?? I guess defending fat celebrities that would never give a fuck about him is a worthy cause…
horseshit. no one would vote her “hottest woman alive” except for herself. i need to see proof, immediately.
The bigger the dude the smaller his brain. Peter Dinklage discovers the Higg’s bosun while Kris Humphries loses his keys and has to break a window to exit his own house.
To be fair, Kim is a Master Semen.
Dude. You’re obsessed with Prometheus. Shut up about it already!
You can’t even feel sorry for someone as stupid as him.
I wonder what jewelry store they will be registered for the baby shower? 24k gold bolts for the baby’s head will be a great gift!!!
Oh kris of course I’m on the pill. Tee hee moron
I’ve asked this question a dozen times before, but why don’t these idiots ever use protection? Especially with a professional celebriy-chaser like Myla Sinanaj.
I mean, does Kris have any idea who was playing hide-the-salami with Myla before he came to her attention?’
Why don’t these guys ever wear condoms?
1. Because a condom doesn’t feel as good as feeling the vag itself.
2. Most virile men are instinctively driven to spread their seed everywhere that it will be accepted.
3. Because of 2, the best part of sex is the final act so to speak…it’s hot to cum inside women.
Only after the “animal” part is all over/said and done, does the “regret” come….but obviously it much more difficult to deal with at that point.
“Chicks with backfat” is a weird and specific preference
Yet something tells me she would get more men than you.
19 thumbs down and 19 thumbs down
Hi TONY *waves*
I meant to say “19 thumbs up and 19 thumbs down”
Anyways, its not important. The point is that Tony is all over this post.
If she is 2mos pregnant Budweiser is the father
I cannot believe that Fish, who apparently is off his meds, wrote the words “Kris Humphries” and “genuis” in the same post…..WTF?
Gross.
So Kris, you knocked up a chunky bitch with a tramp stamp. Classy!
she has ugly lips….
Dear Gays,
The Kardashian-Humphries nuptials represents what getting married is now. Are you sure you want to get involved with something so disreputable?
With overwhelming regards,
Frank Luther King Burns
P.S. besides haven’t you been persecuted enough already?! Jus’ sayin’
– fog horn –
Overweight? yeah. But if I had to choose between this and the average sickly model usually on here I’ll take this one.
No doubt.
Okay so if you have to choose between her and Kate Upton. You would choose her? LOL
You can have her. I’ll take Kate Upton
Kate Upton is that rare exception who actually has curves and doesn’t look emaciated. So yeah, if Kate or Kelly Brook was an option I’d take them! The rest of those models can starve themselves to death for all I care. Most of them are almost there anyway.
Don’t be so quick, that fat back is Kate Upton’s 20 pounds from now. Same square shape.
Ok poor fella. You just outed yourself:) I almost bought the straight act though. Almost:)
Seriously:-) I’ll buy it with this girl, but if even Kate Upton is not good enough for your creepy ass you either prefer boys or just have a crackhead fetish.
Go hang around the nearest methadone clinic. Plenty of toothless hotties with the bodies you’re looking for.
Tony wtf dude.. seriously. this is getting kinda crazy, no? i mean how much time do u spend on this site??
kate upton doesn’t count. she’s not sickly and she’s barely a model.
She’s only 3 months pregnant, there is still time for an abortion :D
Remember, its never too late.
GOOODDZZILLLLAAAA.
Do you type one handed when you cut yourself?
Tony always tells people to go cut themselves
New nick – still a fugly cuntwart :) Face it old bag of poo, you’ll die soon crushed by your 800 lbs of stinky fat :)
There’s nothing “good” about that whore.
What a stupid cunt. I mean Humphries, of course.
Kris Humphries’ sperm works. There’s some good news.
So he rebounded from Kim Kardashian with an even fatter clone of Kim Kardashian?
I once questioned if he was really a black man, but he’s more than proved himself. He can quit now.
She looks more like a Jersey Shore cast-off than a Kim K look-alike.
She looks like she got a second set of boobs under her boobs. Minus the nipples.
He impregnated a manatee?
That’s not a manatee, that’s a swine.
And it’s a “swine” that neither you nor rican could get with even if she was twice as big.
You’re right about that zoff, I’m not into bestiality. Well except that only one time I got really drunk and did your mother.
@ zoff —
I wouldn’t wanna tap that…hideous thing . P.S: This is what Kim Kardashian looks like in real life: http://thesupplementary.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/gyo-3.jpg
He is a multi-millionaire NBA player and this is the best he can do?
Pretty obvious someone on here is at work with access to at least 18 or so terminals and voting up or down the crap out of posts.
Tony
The creature from the blue lagoon
Did you hear the one about Sasquatch all shaved, in a bikini at the beach?
Yeah, I heard you were caught blowing him. But what does that have to do with this chick?
Zoff, you must have me confused with your mother.
So why didn’t Kris wear a condom?
Becasue he’s a fool. Nothing new, right?
And she already has the eating for two down I see. Actually funny thing is she is a Kardashian, it’s Chloe’s long lost sisquatch!!!
So, apparently he has a type…
I know everyone is hating on this chick, but when you think about it, good for her. Kris Humphries is obviously an idiot that doesn’t listen to anyone (you can’t tell me noone told him to stay away from this trash, or AT LEAST wear protection). Fuck him. A fool and his money are soon parted. Since she is also the “baby mama” he’s going to be paying her off for the rest of his life. Stupid fucker deserves it.
Of course Kris is definitely the father, who else would put thier penis in this fat pig?
I don’t get it. Dude’s got millions, yet this heifer with her nasty makeup & thick trunk with buddha belly is the best he can do? That’s just wrong…
This photo is exactly what you’d see at the very top of “Viewed your profile” in OK Cupid for the past 13 days straight.
Thar She Blows
I like Kris Humphries.. I am just surprised that for a rich, handsome guy his choice in women are so low. Why does he insist on going with the bottom feeders when he can get so many higher class girls with better morals who would not want babies until they are married.
Maybe he lacks confidence in himself as a man that he could do better. Maybe only, fat, dark haired, trashy types turn him on, at least it looks that way. No consideration for what’s in their brains. Someone, please help this guy.
best. rebound. ever.
considering…
It appears she’s the one during the urinating this time – that at least is a step up.
FROM KIM K TO THAT….LOL….SHE IS FAT AND UGLY….KRIS WAS LUCKY TO GET KIM…HE IS UGLY ALSO….HOW COULD SHE EVEN UNDRESS IN FRONT OF HIM..LOL…KIM K IS ONE OF THE MOST DESIREABLE WOMEN IN THE WORLD…WHAT A JOKE….KRIS REALLY SCREWED.UP…
Nice. I’d love to watch that belly sloshing back and forth.
Who told her a bikini was a good idea?
You know, there are just times you need to cover up, this is one of them!
Kris you’re suppose to upgrade NOT downgrade! hahahaha
So her waist starts just under her nipples?…
Captain Obvious here, checkin’ in with…”She might not be pregnant but she sure is one fat bitch!”
I wouldn’t fuck that with Nancy Grace’s dick.
She’s a little chubby but I’d definitely do some serious damage to that ass.