Kris Humphries Called Kim Kardashian Fat, Stupid

November 22nd, 2011 // 109 Comments

Let me just preface this post by saying absolutely nothing you’re about to read happened. Not a goddamn thing. Entirely horseshit. Us Weekly reports:

After lavishly tying the knot Aug. 20, Kardashian’s hubby soaked up the perks of being married to one of the most successful reality stars ever — staying out late at clubs in NYC and L.A., and demanding free bottle service and more wherever he went.
Even worse? He could be downright cruel to Kardashian, 31. “He belittled her in front of people,” one insider tells Us. “He’d call her stupid. It was truly sickening.”
The source adds that Humphries resented his wife’s fame and fortune. “He tried to control Kim by bringing her down…He would say truly terrible things. One time, he said she had no talent and her fame wouldn’t last.”
He even took exception to her world-famous posterior, calling her “fat ass,” the source says.
And when Kardashian (who rarely drinks and tends to go to bed early) asked her man to skip the nights out in favor of quality time, “He would tell her she was acting like too much of a wife and ‘get over it,’” another insider says.

I don’t even want to comment on this because only a moron doesn’t see this is Kim Kardashian trying to spin her divorce from Kris Humphries. Because now all of sudden we’re supposed to believe the dude she had to marry in a billion dollar ceremony after dating him for only five hours was goddamn Ike Turner all along? Jesus Christ. Next we’ll find out Kris Humphries tried to build a bomb to blow up Superman, and then in the 1940s he systematically attempted to eradicate Europe’s Jewish population because Kim made him load the dishwasher. “Bah! This is a woman’s job. I’ll be downstairs with my furnace.”

Photos: Splash News


  1. I so wish someone would put her out of our misery!

    • Why are we upset because he stated the truth? She does have a fat ass, she is stupid, and she has no talent. Unless having a big ass and a sex tape is talent.

      • Clarence Beeks

        Edgar, you did not understand Fletch’s comment. He was insulting Kim. Read it again, perhaps you will get it the 2nd time.

  2. And she’s a fat ass scrotum!

  3. Cock Dr

    Kris Humphries realize that all this Kardashian blowback might not be so good for his future with the ladies.
    His PR rep said “Let me take care of this”…and had some fun in the process.

    • Help

      He could be the nicest guy in the world and I’d still make him take a chemical bath before even shaking his hand.

  4. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries
    Commented on this photo:

    i hate this fucking towel head

  5. jk

    Hold on now, he got in trouble for telling the truth? That’s cool, you need to show kids a good example and there’s plenty there to work with. :)

  6. Deli

    This (ridiculous) news is old. I remember reading this weeks ago. She is a stupid bitch, though.

  7. Richard McBeef, MD

    Viagra has saved many marriages, but I’ve got a script for FloMax that can reconcile the irreconcilable weak stream problems here.

  8. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries
    Ben Dover
    Commented on this photo:

    I smell bullshit even though she is fat and stupid
    the only people worse are the people that like this cunt

  9. Jim

    Ha hilarious commentary

  10. Further, the insider was quoted as saying, “Humphries even said that I…er..I mean…Kim’s mom Kris, the hardworking and brilliant mother of the K Klan, was a manipulative mastermind of famewhorism!”

  11. hot fxck

    all these r all fake. Evrythin btwn dem na set up 4rm d beginin,kris nu kim wld divorce him afta 72 days. Who dem dey fool? Anytin frm kim is fake nd pretence. All 4 atention

  12. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries
    Commented on this photo:

    *Makes airplane noise as she guides the chicken wing to her mouth*

  13. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries
    Commented on this photo:

    Too bad he didn’t have a Reggie Bush jersey on.

  14. Gilmore Girl

    Kris said she had no talent (true), she is a fat ass (true) she is stupid (true, or as the brilliant Kim would say “that is like literally the truth”). I find it hard to believe he didn’t express these things before the ridiculous wedding. Again, she was only in it for the money and the attention. When that faded, she saw what was there all along.

    • gumption

      I largely afree with you and let me say I am not a KK fan because she is someone that is paid to lie to the public about nonsense (not having had a ton of plastic surgery, finding dogs etc). BUT, the public loves it and so she is serving a demand. But I find the whole boring so I am not interested. I look at her photos sometimes because she is pretty and I read her wedding gossip because I believe this broad, to an extent. She just wanted a fill in groom and in haste found a retarded oaf. She knew it, tried to force it and then thankfully she had enough self esteem to flush this dude down the latrine where he belongs. You can see he was way out of his league and such guys will one way or another try to bring a female down to a level they feel ocmfortable. A common method as in this case is they will attack her looks first, her success, her life, anything and everything. But since most of you worship her, she built a bit of self esteem (although fragile and yes she needs mental help) that she booted this Lurch out. I think it is great! She did the right thing. Should she have blown all the $ and played all the media games? Well you guys gave her the money and so she can do what she wants and her job is playing media fake games. People feel “let down”? I guess then you all are the retarded ones for investing emtions into a stranger’s marriage. No, americans love to build someone up and then rip them down, that is all this is. unfortunately, kim is reinforced with a impenetrable butt and she will survive!

      • Clarence Beeks

        I haven’t given this family one goddamn cent of mine. Nor have I ever watched their shit show. I don’t think most people on this site have either. So what’s with the “you guys” shit?

      • Jack Ketch

        Serving a demand ?? For what, exactly ??

  15. Snack pack

    Did he call her a “non-blonde who is short in stature” as well? Horrendous!

    • natasha

      He can’t rub two brain cells together, much less think in coherent sentences. I suspect he drew pictures to get his message across.

  16. Pippy Longcockings

    He was spot on. Except the stupid part is kind of the pot calling the kettle black isn’t it? He married the bitch.

  17. Sergeant Poop

    I like how they act like Kris Humphries is some homeless guy who brought nothing to the table financially. He made over $3 million last season.

    • Help

      Or a deadbeat who doesn’t work. He actually has a job (well he did before the lockout) that requires a talent.

  18. AdamG

    This “press release” should be titled:
    Telling it Like it is by Kris Kardashian.

  19. Dinosaurland

    Excuse me, Mr. Humphries, but free bottle service is for people who have worked hard and earned it. Like reality television stars who are famous for whoring out each moment of their lives before an uninterested public. Have some respect, man.

  20. Juano

    Isn’t US magazine sort of the Kardashian house journal?

    As I predicted, the “Chris is a jerk, let me tell you how cruel he was to Kim” mantra has started. Next we’ll hear this horrifying tale “and then he got up to go pee, and instead of peeing on her, he went into the bathroom and used the toilet. that’s when Kim knew that he was bad news and she had to move on (sob, sob, ka ching!)”

    • Juano

      Of course, it is only fair to say that I wasn’t the only one that predicted this. Sort of like predicting “yes, I am having a vision, the sky will lighten up in the morning and it will be come dark after nightfall.”

  21. Juano

    Just for giggles, I went to the US Weekly story and read the comments. The level of stupidity on that site is incredible. A lot of these people actually believe that what is shown on this alleged “reality show” is entirely spontaneous and hasn’t been edited to show the Kardashians in some sort of favorable light.

    • Burt

      …like when they re-enacted Wookie’s (I honestly don’t know her name) arrest for DUI and spun a tale around it happening because she’s always emotional when it’s near the anniversary of their father’s death when in fact her arrest took place months before the anniversary.

  22. He can’t do that. That’s the job of the Internet.

  23. Bane

    I’m confused. What exactly did he say that wasn’t true?


  24. Venom

    He is still a douchebag Cro-Magnon man, but he did not lie.

  25. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries
    Real Deal
    Commented on this photo:

    sounds like Kris was just calling it as it is.

  26. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries
    Commented on this photo:

    You almost got me fat ass!

  27. James

    “A source” is Kris Jenner’s pen name.She uses it more often than her real name. What a joke these people are.

  28. Meat Popsicle

    Can they make a tactical nuke that splits off to target specific addresses?
    I mean, if not we could just wait until they’re all in one place but…man, we’ve already waited so long.

  29. Anon

    Well in his defense, Kim doesn’t have any real talents other than standing in front of a camera and she gain about 20lbs on her ass alone right after the wedding.

    He should have made fun of her pointy shoulder pad jackets while he as on a role.

    • Jack Ketch

      Roll ? lol

      • TomFrank

        No, role is right. He was playing the part of a bridegroom so the Famewhore-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named could rake in a lot of money and ratings for her show.

      • anon

        (Different Anon than OP) — No, role is still wrong, even if he did play the role of her husband. “On a role” isn’t a phrase… Technically you could say, “He should have made fun of her jackets while he was in that role,” but I think it’s pretty obvious that OP meant “on a roll.” He was on a roll with his true insults.

  30. XFX

    “He would say truly terrible things. One time, he said she had no talent and her fame wouldn’t last.”


  31. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries
    Commented on this photo:

    At first I thought “oh bullshit, this is just the Kardashian Klux Klan trashing Kris to try to make themselves look better…but then I read this: “One time, he said she had no talent and her fame wouldn’t last”.

    That sounds too real to be made up…but then if they were making stuff up, they might THINK this was an abusive statement rather than a obvious observation of reality…and now I don’t know what to believe, except that I feel like shooting myself in the face for even caring enough to type this.

  32. lol

    Sounds exactly like Kris Jenner wrote that, how dumb do they think we are?

  33. Rufus

    Kimmie K., America’s favourite brand of urinal cake. Look for it wherever you buy Ripple and MadDog 20/20.

  34. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries
    Commented on this photo:

    so he spoke the truth an she coudlnt handle it..she has NO talent, NOTHING, shes ugly and needs 3 pounds on makeup, and she is fucking fat!

  35. melisa

    Kim is an american hero who should be taken seriously. she is a smart independent and strong woman who knows what she wants and doesn’t need a man to keep her happy. She is brilliant and modeldatingagency was amazing

  36. Jen

    The thing is, he seems like a smartass. He says funny, smartass things, and then the big booty girls scoff and act offended like he was serious. Also I find it highly unlikely he was using Kim, he doesn’t seem like a famehound at all, and it’s ironic for them to allege that of anyone.

    • gumption

      doesnt see like a faehound? what guy jumps on 2 reality shows and has their engagment aired on national televiion? he also was going to do some club appearance before kk pulled the plug. he was very much into the fame. and he wanted to come off as “he didnt care about it all” so he tried to cut the down and was rude. he was so pathetic and transparent. this is why kk needs mental help, if ever there was a doubt, look at this mega, ugly, loser she married. the only smart thing she did was run for the hills on this one.

  37. Buddy the Elf

    Everything he said was correct.
    The bitch’s spin team are on cruise control these days – desperately trying to make fat ass look good.

  38. lol

    It could be worse, he could have called her a human latrine.

  39. Tina

    The only way Kim Kardashian can redeem herself at this point is if she had a spinoff in which she farted her way through 8 episodes while saying ‘ME MAKE FART.’ The [i]only[/i] way.

  40. NIk

    Can’t hate on a brother for calling a spade a spade…

  41. Tristyn

    Two retarded gopher turtles have more intelligence than kow kakes.

  42. Sweetrose

    I’m sorry, but I kind of believe this story. I watched the show and he seemed like he was very controlling and abusive. I don’t know if he thought he was just being straightforward, but a lot of things he said came out very wrong.

    • Burt

      Nah…I still think it’s PR agency spin, even if he did say it. My guess is they asked a bunch of 15 year-old girls to watch the show, asked what they thought of Chris. Most of them answered he’s a bit of a jerk, and that’s how they came up with the idea of spinning it into him. Then, they would have asked Kim if she could recall anything he said to her that could be misconstrued as being abusive. “Well, he said I should save my money because I might not be famous forever and that I had a phat booty.” Voila! She’s got a fat ass and her fame won’t last.

    • suej

      it’s called damage control and re editing to make her look good and get the sympathy viewers. don’t believe her ,remeber her start in hollywood was a sex tape

  43. Jimmy Stewart

    In other news, Kris Humphries called the sky blue and water wet.

  44. Freebie

    Who cares?

  45. Mama Pinkus

    poor Kim – her fake marriage ruse backfired, so she has to cast this patsy Kris as a demon – too funny

  46. Arzach

    So … he got dumped for telling the truth?

  47. jujee

    To be fair, judging by how he acted on their show/ the wedding special/ from previews of Taking New York… the dude really seem like a total asshole.

  48. Milena

    Ok, yes, the marriage was a scam, but i really believe these news are true. I saw the reality show and he is exactly like that, he has no sense when talking to woman especially kim. one time she was saying she wanted an amazing wedding, etc, and they had an argue about that and he said, in a very rude way: “4 years ago you were just a worker on a store, and now you wanna be mrs. princess”. true, but is that something you tell your fiancée when you’re planing you’re wedding?

    • Winnie

      Milena, Jujee – call me when the shuttle lands.

      I feel so bad for this guy. After everything she has already done to him, she can’t just let him try to salvage some sort of a reputation, couple of endorsements out of the mess – now she’s got to (nicely put Fish), create some scenario where he was all Ike Turner on her? He should talk to her first ex-hubby – she said pretty much the same stuff about her.

      Kimmy who cried wolf? I’d like to think not, but after everything else, its safe to say the Pee Queen probably isn’t drawing any ethical lines these days.

    • Burt

      You do realize that the show is scripted, right?

    • Jack Ketch

      Holy Doodle, is English your second language ?? lol By the way, “you’re” means “you are.”

  49. StayPuft Overlord

    Kim kardashian is fat and stupid…….in other news, the sun is hot.

  50. Tootles

    Oh, so he basically told the truth about this fat filthy piss stained hooker.

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